Slower Than Expected Blogging

 THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Unfortunately, due to a few changes in my day-to-day life recently I am going to have to put this blog on a bit of a hiatus. It doesn’t mean I am stopping this blog, it just means that entries will be even slower than usual.

For more regular updates you can visit my twitter feed (I am finally getting the hang of it), I have added an update bar at the side of this blog that you can see (or click on the link under “social profiles” to follow me on twitter). In my twitter feed I talk about everything that interests me from the Slow Movement, to NLP, to philosophy, to random thoughts and ideas.

A Slight Facelift

As you can probably see, if you are regular visitor here, that I have made a few changes around here (partly to reflect my current situation and partly to update it to my changing attitudes towards the slow philosophy). I am updating these pages as and when I can and should get it done in a week or two.

Giving it All Away

Because of the changes, I have had to also put a hold on the online course I was planning to launch. To make up for that, click on the “free stuff” tab and you can download:

“Welcome to the Slow Life”
This 48 minute audio and 44-page ebook (an edited transcript of the audiobook) covers everything you need to know about the Slow Movement, slowing down, the idler and as well as exercises, tips and techniques to help you slow down right away.

“Deep Relaxation Primer” Audio Programme
In this audio programme you will be taken through a simple exercise that will help you deeply relax and remove all that tension and stress from your body and mind and allow you take on life with an increased sense of wellbeing, confidence and vitality.

“What’s the Rush” ebook
This 32-page ebook gives you ten simple tips to start slowing down, including breathing and postural exercise, a portrait of an idler and an Idlers Journal.

“Welcome to the Slow Live – LIVE!!” Audio 
This talk was recorded LIVE at the Vision For Living Festival in Cardiff on the 31st October 2009.

Coaching and Consulting

I am still seeing people for one to one coaching in how to slow down, mindfulness, etc. But my time is now a bit more limited. If  you are interested in coaching, either face-to-face on by Skype please click on the coaching tab.

Well, as Lau Tzu once said “May you live in interesting times. Or die of boredom“, I am certainly living in interesting times at the moment! I will be back with more updates as often as I can.

Matt

The Overflowing Teacup

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

“Once, a university professor went to visit a Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked continuously about Zen, his thoughts, his ideas, his understands and his questions… As he spoke the master poured the visitor’s cup to the brim, but then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself “It’s full! No more will go in!” the professor blurted. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup.”"

I am, I have to admit, a terrible “grass is greener” sort of person. I have always been afraid I am missing out on something…

And, I have very broad interests, because of this I am easily (very easily) distracted, and can spend hours thinking about or researching (the internet can really be a curse) something completely irrelevant that I will forget about almost as soon as I have learned it.

I often feel like my teacup is flowing over and I can’t fit any more in. So I end up scattered and, to quote Bilbo Baggins “I feel… thin. Sort of stretched, like… butter scraped over too much bread…”

Which is not really the “Slow Way” (or if you are trying to sound all pretentious, you could be all faux Eastern, mystic and say the “Tao of Slow…”).

In fact, one of the things that first attracted me to the Slow movement and the Idle philosophy was the idea that I could reduce my field of interest. It showed me that I don’t need to know, do or try everything. That I am not really missing out on something if I am not at the forefront of it, if I don’t know everything about it with five minutes.

(I tell you, I am marketers dreams…)

But how do you practically stop yourself from doing this? How do you start to cut back on your fields of interest, of reducing your desire (addiction?) to the new, the fresh, the exciting, the smell of the grass over the fence?

How do you start limiting yourself?

The ‘Not Reading’ List

Ironically, I started limiting myself many years ago, before I had even heard of the Slow movement or before I even realised that I really, really needed to.

When I was at school I was told I was “word blind” (whatever that is?) and that I wouldn’t able to read very well (nothing like a nice positive suggestion is there??), so I hated reading, I was slow and it would take me weeks to read something that other people would read in a day.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I left school and thought “Stuff ‘em, if I want to read, I will read!” and started devouring books (I was – and still am – a slow reader, but at least I was motivated to try and read).

I fell in love with books, but soon found that (because I read slowly), if I just rushed to read a book just for the sake of reading that book, I wouldn’t retain any information and it was a pointless waste of time.

I realised I was probably not going to be able to read every book I wanted (or felt I should) and that I needed some form of plan.

At that point I started a ‘NOT Reading’ list and listed books I had no intention of ever reading:

Number one on the list was Gulliver’s Travels.

Number two was anything by Stephen King.

It was of course a dynamic list and I have since read some of the books I had placed on that list (I put “3 Men and Boat” on there as a bit of a knee jerk reaction, because someone kept pestering me that I should read it…), but the sense of relief I got from the decision not to read a book (and stopping beating myself up about having not got round to it) outweighed the gnawing sensation that I was missing out on something…

I still buy too many books. But there you go…

Anyway, I used this same principle to begin a ‘NOT to Do’ list…

The ‘NOT To Do’ List

Since getting into Slow and embracing its philosophy I have expanded this idea to write a ‘NOT To Do List’, things I never intend to do. Ever.

Number one on the list was “Extreme Sports”. There seems to be an odd belief that to “live life to the full” you need to have bungee jumped off a high bridge in Africa or other such pastimes. I spent most of my teens hanging around with these extreme sports guys, doing climbing and white water canoeing and such. And I hated every minute of it (other than the climbing – see my obituary of John Bachar here). It just scared me silly (it was only years later that I discovered the principle of high and low acting arousal systems and found out why I was so scared when everyone else seemed to love it.)

So when I decided to develop my NOT to do list that went straight at number one.

Number Two was backpacking (or “travelling” if you are more of a pretentious ilk). For years I felt like I had missed out on something because I didn’t go travelling when I was younger (it was besides the point I didn’t fancy the idea of cheap flights and fleapit hostels), and always thought I should do it.

Once I added those two to the list I felt an immense sense of relief. I managed to shrug off 2 massive hang-ups that I had.

Then I was on a role!

(Not that I am saying you shouldn’t be doing those, I am just using them as an illustration of things I have added to my not to do list and why. You may love extreme sports and backpacking. In which case, go for your like!).

Recently I have added Internet Forums to the list  (I just can’t cope with all the bickering) and I am seriously thinking about adding Twitter. I don’t get it and I can’t be bothered and it stresses me out because I feel I should be on twitter (because everyone else is, right? See, how this works?).

Tim Ferriss calls this “selective ignorance”, he uses it mainly in the context of information overload and doesn’t read papers and only checks his email once a week (I am still developing my slow email strategy – I will write about it once I have it sorted-ish).

Sherlock Holmes, that famous fictional detective, was well known for having very little “general knowledge” and avoided anything that didn’t directly effect (or is that ‘affect’? I am never sure) what he is currently working on. Although he knew a lot (he is often considered a polymath), he only knew it in the context of what he needed it for (I am not suggesting you be this strict with yourself!)

How do you start your ‘NOT To Do’ List?

Easy. But it does take a bit soul searching and discipline; you have to be honest with yourself.

I highly recommend you treat your ‘Not To Do’ list in the exactly the same way as a ‘To Do’ list: Write it down. Not on a scrap of paper, but in a decent notebook (so you won’t lose it). I also add a date and a reason why (some things I have added to my list I have come back to years later and can’t remember why I added them in the first place).

So, what do you put your list?

Well, listing things you never intended to do in the first place can act as catalyst to get you going, but it does seem a bit pointless if you have already, resolutely, made up your mind you are not going to do it. I could add “join the BNP” to my list if I wanted, but that seems rather daft…

So, begin with things that you feel you should do (see the “dreaded shoulds” here), these are often the things we struggle with in a our daily lives, never really get round to doing (because you don’t really want to do it), but they seem to gnaw await at you, you get a nagging feeling you ought do them…

Then start listing things you are doing now just for the sake of. You probably have lots of habits that have just developed over the years that no longer really have any reasonable function, you just do them because you have always done them.

Not sure if it should be on the list? Put it on for a week and see if you miss it, if you last a week, leave it there for a month, if after a month you still haven’t needed to do or missed it, put it on forever.

You see, the idea of a good ‘NOT To Do’ list, is to start cutting back on what you are doing now as well as resolving not to do new (irrelevant) things.

Then of course, it frees up time and energy (and, often, money too) to do the things you actually want to do, but we will talk about that next time…

Matt

Slow Twittering: Is It Possible? And, Should I Bother?

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

I have never got Twitter. I have, in fact, been quite mean about it in the past (see my “Twittering Nonsense” post here), then I changed my mind and decided, misquoting Shakespeare (one of my all time favourite people), that “there is nothing (inherently) slow or fast, but thinking (or acting) makes it so”.

So, I decided I would give it a go (you can see my thought process on this post here), and set up a Twitter account (twitter.com/theslowcoach), due to a tiny legal issue (which I won’t go into, it is very embarrassing) I had to change that, so I changed to twitter.com/tortoisemind. But I never really got the hang of it and only really used it to bookmark these blog entries (I mainly got talked into Twitter as a way to promote myself, which is wrong, I know!).

I never really tried to get any followers or follow anyone. I just couldn’t get my head round it (I had a friend – somewhat of a self proclaimed internet marketing “expert” – try and explain what I should be doing on several occasions, but it all seemed far to complicated, and cynical – but more on that in a little while – for me).

Blogging Too Slowly?

But, since deciding to make this a Slow Blog, and taking the pressure off myself to write an entry regularly, even if I couldn’t think of anything to say, I thought I would take another look at Twitter and see if I can get into it.

I have to say, I have relaxed a tad too much and have had to really force myself to write something on this blog! For the first two weeks it didn’t even crossed my mind to blog, it was great, I felt a sense of freedom and relaxation I hadn’t had for a long time. And, that is really the point, slowing down, isn’t really about being slow, it is about following your own rhythm and if you are not in the mood to do something you shouldn’t force yourself.

However, maybe I relaxed a little too much…?

After those first two weeks, October became incredibly hectic; I had four trainings courses to run and a very long list of things I really needed to get done (I don’t as a general rule agree with to do lists, but in this case it was needed), so I didn’t get the chance to even think about writing a blog entry until it was all over (which it is now, thank goodness. I was so frazzled I just couldn’t move for a day or two! Idlers like me are not used to that much intense work all in one go…)

Anyway, back to the Twitter thing. I thought, since taking the pressure off myself to try and write a blog every day, I could start using twitter for more regular updates.

Is it really possible to be a Slow Twitterer? I don’t know, I am still mulling it over, I will continue to try and experiment, but here are my thoughts so far.

Three Things About Twitter That I Don’t Like (because they seem “anti-slow”)

1) It seems rather pointless. I already have plenty of ways to keep in touch with my friends (text, email, letter, and – shock, horror – actually talking to them face to face) and facebook (which I use, but am not the biggest fan of – read Tom Hodgkinson’s excellent article on it here) already has a status update option, why do I need another way to tell people what I am up to? And do they really care?

2) The whole essence of Twitter encourages impatience and lack of attention. If you don’t tweet at least every 33 seconds people will stop following you, heading off to find another font of instant information.

But the big thing that about Twitter is this (and it isn’t really twitters fault, but…)…

3) …like all other social networking sites (but Twitter, with it’s simplicity, seems to encourage this behaviour most), the minute it becomes popular, “methods” spring up to help you promote yourself and suddenly it is flooded with wannabe entrepreneurs, all shouting about their own stuff. My aforementioned friend told me that how I should be using Twitter is to search for people who are interested (or tweeting about) the area of work I am in and then become friends with them. Twitter etiquette, apparently, is then that they follow you back and VOILA you have someone you can plug your wares to.

The thing that makes me wonder about that is, if you are following them just to get them to follow you, and therefore, have little intention of reading their tweets, how interested do you think they will be in what you have to say? Surely it just ends up with lots of people muttering to themselves?

It just seems that twitter lends itself much more to this banal, self-centred shouting. Breaking the golden rule of “slow blogging” which is a willingness to keep quiet whilst all other bloggers are shouting “listen to me, listen to me!” It is about not trying to be the loudest voice out there.

Going Out of Fashion?

However it seems that all this worry about whether I should twitter may be irrelevant. Twitter may have had its day. According to reports and the people rarely check back after the first 2 months(read the Tech Crunch article here and the Harvard Business School blog here, there is more research, but I couldn’t be bothered to search for it).

Membership and usage is dropping by the day and Twitter are desperately adding new features including video tweeting and “lists” (which seem unnecessarily complicated) to try and keep users and attract new ones. A slew of celebrities including (the usually very vocal) Lily Allen and Miley Cyrus have abandoned it, it even slipped down the Sunday Times Style cool list last Sunday (which is usually a death knell)…

Is It Really Worth It?

So it seems to me Twitter is full of celebrities trying to circumvent the gossip columns and tabloid presses to talk to their fans directly (which I think is actually an amiable thing to do) and “entrepreneurs” (I use that word advisedly) muttering to themselves trying to flog their snake oil. The true users (the ones I assume twitter was set up for) seem to have got lost in the middle somewhere (and just seem to follow their favourite “celebrities”).

Basically, it feels horribly, horribly cynical.

Of course, this is a very negative point of view and could possibly be me just trying to justify my total confusion (and disinterest) in it?

So, putting my negative attitude and emotions to one side and assuming Twitter doesn’t go horribly out of fashion in the next few days, how can I attempting to embrace Twitter in a Slow Manner?

Well, Here is My (Very Simple) Slow Twitter Manifesto

1. I tweet when I tweet. Don’t expect regular updates, you won’t get them.

2. I will only follow someone, if I genuinely want to hear what they have to say, not so that they will follow me (so don’t follow me just to get a reciprocal follow – you probably won’t get one -  follow me because you want to hear what I have to say).

3. I won’t use twitter just for brainless self promotion, and will only tweet something I think will be of interest to my follows, including links and alerts about new blog entries.

Let’s see how it works out shall we?

Matt

If you liked this post, please bookmark it on Digg, Stumbled Upon, Twitter, etc. I would really appreciate it

Thoughts From a Deck Chair

Firstly, a bit of news…

1) Because I am no longer using “The Slow Coach” title, I have changed my twitter account, you can now follow my random, sporadic, few and far between tweets, then you can now follow me at www.twitter.com/tortoisemind or click on the Social Profile button up there on the sidebar.

2) A bit more business minded? Connect with me on LinkedIn. My LinkedIn profile covers everything I do, from the Slow work to the NLP training and consultancy, to the mentoring I do with other coaches and therapists. You can connect with me at www.linkedin.com/in/mattcaulfield, or use the Social profile button.

3) Still not a member of my facebook page? Well, that hasn’t changed, what are you waiting for?! Join me here or, again, use the Social buttons up there on the right.

I think that is about it…

When I started this blog, way back on a free wordpress site, it was called “Thoughts from a Deck Chair” and was really just my musings, thoughts, ideas and observations on life, the Slow Movement and how I was incorporating it into my daily life. Somewhere along the way, it morphed into more of a “how to” blog, giving hints tips and ideas. I think I was a bit scared, to be honest, that people wouldn’t be that interested in my ramblings and wouldn’t read, so I had to try and offer something useful to keep my readers happy (and coming back for more and recommending me/linking to my posts, etc). I think I got a bit carried away after reading lots of books on how to be a successful blogger that told me that I had to offer advice, or hints and tips, etc.

But, after a bit of feedback, readers seem to want to hear about my ideas, musing and goings on as much as hints and tips about what you need to do to Slow Down.

So, I endeavour, from now on, to give you regular updates about my attempts to slow down as well as the hitns and tips, etc.

What do you think? Please feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you want me to write about!

Matt

Twittering Nonsense Part 2

Some time ago I wrote a post about how I didn’t like twitter (you can read it here), but since then I have been thinking I was a bit mean, to say that I hadn’t even used it properly at the time.

So I decided, in the interest of fairness, I should sign up and give it a go. I set up a personal account and had a poke about then after awhile I set up a “professional account” under the Slow Coach name (if you are interested, you can follow me here or click on the link at the top of the sidebar). I have been messing around with posting on there as and when I think about it. Mostly I have been linking to these blog entries. The problem I have found is that I am not sure what to say! Do I tell you about the minutiae of my life (are people really interested in what I do all day)? Do I use it to pass on handy short hints and tips as to how to slow down? Do I draw your attention to interesting sites and bits of news that I find? A combination of all three? I haven’t figured it out yet and am still trying to figure out the best way to be a “Slow Twitterer” (which doesn’t necessarily mean not posting very often…).

But the most interesting thing I have found out so far is that people are so impatient on there. They follow you for a few hours and if you don’t post something interesting or informative in that time they dump you and move on. Which is really quite sad and an indication of our dwindling concentration spans…

The other thing was the piece of research that was released a few weeks ago (you can read it here) that says that 90% of tweets are posted by 10% of the users and most users only return to the site once a month and often don’t return after 2 months. So maybe Twitter is Slow after all?

For all the posturing about the way Twitter is the next big thing, the new social networking site and all that, it doesn’t seem true at all, in reality, it really isn’t the be all and end all. In fact I am the only person I know that twitters.

So it seems that a lot of people agree with me! Conclusion so far? Still nonsense, but I will persevere and see how I get on…

SC

Twittering Nonsense

I got an invite to join twitter by a friend of mine today.

For those of you not in the know twitter is the latest online “social networking” site that (rather pretentiously) calls itself a  “micro-blogging service” that allows its users to send and read other users’ updates (otherwise known as tweets), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length.

Twitter is the latest trend in communication and is starting to be used by all sorts of people (even Barack Obama has an account!).

You won’t find me on there though.

Why?

Because twitter is the latest step in the ever-increasing pace of life, of the tsunami of information we have to keep up with.

Just 10 years ago, we would phone someone or write a letter to keep in touch. Mobile phones were only just becoming common place and texting was in its infancy, even email was only just starting to walk.

10 years before that is was landline phone or letter. To keep in touch with world you would read a daily paper or watch the news at 10.

Do we really need this constant barrage of information? I think not. Yes, I write this journal, yes I have a mobile phone and email. But do I constantly check it? No! I don’t even know where my mobile is right now and often go out and forget to take it with me. Does my world end? Nope!

Now we are obsessed with being constantly “on” and are constantly bombarded with information. We feel the ever increase need to be always be “in touch” with everyone and everything.

It is like we are no one unless we are telling everyone what we are doing every second of the day. We are turning into a bunch of egomaniacs!

Twitter is the latest symptom of this. Where will we go next?!

Does it really matter what someone is up to at that very second? If it is that is that important can’t they call you or drop you text?!

Can’t you wait to find that out? Do you need the constant banal updates?!

We get so much information all we have time to do is process it. Information is pointless if we don’t have the time to act on it, all it does is make us stressed and worried and feel out of control…

We don’t need all this information, in fact I would argue that it is bad for us, physically, psychologically and socially.

Relax, chill out, delete your twitter account, close your web browser, go and buy a newspaper.  Phone a friend and have a proper chat. Why not arrange to pop round for a cup of tea? Too far away? Why not write them a letter and let them now what you are up to? Or even an email (it comes to something when an email seems a “slow” form of communication doesn’t it?!)

I prefer the quieter life:

The little retreat is to hide

Among wooded hills;

The great retreat is to vanish

In the capital.

- Kanzan

Tomorrow you will here my thoughts on other social networking online. Brace yourself…

SC