Embrace Your Own Tempo Giusto

Written by on March 18, 2011

In music Tempo Giusto means to play in “exact time”, in Carl Honore’s seminal work “In Praise of Slow(ness)” he discusses the idea of Tempus Guisto as applied to our lifestyles meaning living at the “right tempo”.

You see, the Slow Philosophy is not about doing everything at a snails pace, crawling along or grinding things to a halt just for the sake of it, out of some contrary reaction to our modern Society. The Slow Philosophy is about doing things at an appropriate speed for the given context. We all hate sitting in traffic queues or being on hold. We don’t want the emergency services to dawdle to an accident.

In your own life the Slow Philosophy is very nicely thought of as an application of Tempo Giusto. Find your own pace to do things. Slow is about doing things at the pace and time that feels comfortable for you. It is about not reacting to the push and pull of society. It is easy to give in to these pressures, to do things the expected way, at the expected speed. And we are always pressured to go faster, often faster than necessary, seemingly just for the sake of doing it faster (just because we can).

You need to find and embrace your own Tempo Giusto. Find when and at what speed you best act. Do your best not to give in to external pressure about what you should be doing, the speed and rate you are doing it and the time you feel best to get it done.

Matt

Categories: The Journey - Tags: ,

The Story So Far

Written by on January 12, 2011

(For an audio version of this blog click here, or here to listen via iTunes)

This blog is just over two years old, so I thought for my first post of 2011 I would write a brief(ish) “story so far”, hopefully this will act as a catch up for new readers and review for older ones. And as a way of focusing myself for 2011…

I first came across the Slow Movement in late 2007. In early 2008 I had the idea of taking the fundamental philosophy of the Slow Movement (as I understood it – the great thing I love about the Slow Movement is that not organised and controlled by a singular organisation and is propelled by individuals. Which means it is different from person to person) and combine it with the tools, techniques and strategies I had learned from 8 years experience (at the time) of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), hypnosis, coaching, meditation and other bits and bobs of psychology and productivity (through work I had done with businesses and lecturing on Aston Business School’s MBA course) to generate ways to help people Slow down, become more mindful and productive and reconnect with their lives.

At this point I had been running my own coaching and training business since 2000, it had grown from strength to strength, but I wasn’t happy, I was stressed and I didn’t know why. I had started to be turned off by the whole “self help” field and was finding it horribly insincere and impatient. I was getting more and more clients expecting and demanding instant fixes to problems , these expectations were being fed by the vacant marketing of snake oil salesmen who seemed to be filling up the field. I was trying to do too much, to please everyone, which ironically meant I wasn’t getting anything finished, or anything finished to a decent standard at least. I needed to strip back what I was doing, simplify and get back to basics (and what I loved doing).

The irony was I hadn’t always been this fast and stressed, I had be seduced by the idea that “faster is better” and impatience was a virtue without really realising it. Before getting involved in NLP, coaching and training I had been practicing Buddhist meditation, Tai Chi and Yoga (very Slow pastimes!).

It took an accident to show me the way! I ordered “In Praise of Slow” from Amazon by mistake… This introduced me to a different way of thinking and living. It came as revelation that I didn’t need to be seduced by speed, that there is another (better) way!

I started this blog as a way of recording my exploration into the Slow Movement and associated fields. It didn’t land fully formed and has been a rather organic, and at times chaotic process, following my fascination and seeing where that took me. Which means it has meandered and wandered and often lacked focus.

My Slow Philosophy

The first thing I did ((after researching The Slow Movement and related fields intensely for around 6 months) was distil my  “Slow Philosophy”. This was my starting point.

The term “slow” is shorthand for:

A Philosophy

Recognising that time is precious, but rushing to try and fit more in is not the answer. That taking the time and effort to appreciate what is now will be much more fulfilling than filling your days and doing this just to get somewhere in the future.

That leads to…

A State of Mind/Attitude

Embodied by being centred, relaxed, unhurried, unrushed, unflustered and acting spontaneously in the right way (at the right pace) in a given situation.

That becomes a…

Lifestyle

This manifests itself as different ways for different people, depending on their interests and experiences, but shared values are: Finding the right pace to do things,  appreciating the present moment, community and co-operation (rather than competition),  manners and making meaning connections with people.

It is inspired by and embodies the spirit of the tale of the Hare and the Tortoise – “Slow and steady wins the race…”

And develops…

Practical Applications

In all areas of life: business, arts, education, sports, transport, anywhere!

Slow is NOT…

“Slow is not about doing everything at a snail’s pace; it’s about working, playing and living better by doing everything at the right speed.”
-    Carl Honore

About being slothful, lazy or ignorant. In fact just the opposite, it is about being mindful, aware and intelligent in your actions.

Then I started thinking of what this actually meant:

Slow Down From the Inside Out

Very quickly I realised that, to me, the Slow Movement, and slowing down came from the inside out.

The key thing to me was to change the way we think.

Most Slow Movements seem to me to be outfacing and external in nature: slow food, slow travel, slow cities, etc and no one was considering the fact that, before we could change the way we live, we need to change the way we think.

It has always been a key philosophy of mine and something that has underpinned my work since I started out in the field was that, before we can even attempt to make changes to our own external world we need to change our internal one (our thoughts and emotions).

So many people get this the wrong way round and wonder why they cannot get the life they crave. They try and make changes to their external world hoping these actions will change their thought processes and emotions.

I started using the phrase “tortoise mind” to describe the mindset I wanted to develop, in comparison to  “hare-brained” which seems to be how most people think and act.

The Archetypal Idler (for me)

Once I had that (and that came to me quite late on this process), I started to focus on how develop it.

I used the term idler as a short hand label (probably because I was first re-introduced to this Philosophy by Tom Hodgkinson’s excellent Idler periodical) for someone who had embraced the Slow philosophy and developed their tortoise mind.

Being idle, to me, wasn’t about being lazy, stupid or slothful, it was about being efficient, unflustered and unhurried, in the way an engine is being most efficient on or just above it’s idling rev range. The term idle has become something rather pejorative and negative, yet great minds, from Diognese and the Cynics, to Seneca and the stoics, the Buddha, the Romantics, and people like Theroux, Jerome K Jerome, Bertrand Russell and Will Self (to name but a few, I could write much, much more – for a more detailed history of the Slow, why not grab my “Welcome to the Slow Life” audio book here) have spoken of the virtues of idleness.

So, after a bit of experimentation, I realised that I needed to develop something to aim for, the archetypal idler, and then work towards achieving that.

Of course, this archetype is different for everyone and people interpret the Slow Philosophy in different ways and to different degrees (that’s what I like about it, it is an art, everyone is different), so you need to develop your own vision to how you want to be.

For me it was an image of a person in an airport, you can read the details here.

The Four Keys to the Tortoise Mind

What attributes does the Idler have?

I defined what I considered the 4 keys to the tortoise mind (it was, until recently, the 3 keys, but I have changed it!), which are:

1. Mindfulness
The past has gone and the future, well, you can’t hang your hopes on it… There is only now. Pay attention! So many of us spend our time day dreaming about thee future or remembering the past, so few of us spend time in the present moment.

2. Gratitude
Gratitude is the opposite of greed. Our consumer society wants us to keep buying more and more things to collect clutter to replace what we have as soon as we are bored of it. It is designed to make us acutely aware of what we haven’t got so we will crave it. This grasping and craving means we will never really be happy, as soon as we have that one thing we thought would complete us we grow used to it and want something new. Be grateful for what you have. Make a list each.

3. Compassion
Compassion isn’t very trendy any more in this Hare Brained world and we are all out to get what we can for ourselves. Being hare brained is self centred and solipsistic. Being Tortoise Minded is about connecting with the people around us, being polite, thoughtful and well mannered. We are all together on this lunatic asylum of a planet and everyone is just trying to do the best they can with the choices and information they have at the time. Remember that.

4. Relaxation (of body and mind)
Phil Hine describes confidence as “being relaxed in the present moment”. By relaxing our body we relax our minds. We can think more clearly and positively, we can also reduce stress and toxins in our body and feel more energised and focused.

These 4 keys have no hierarchy, they are equally as important as each other. Think of them as threads that need to weave themselves through you psyche to hold it all together.

Of course we can add things to this list like simplicity or organisation, but these are secondary traits that will come naturally once you embrace the 4 keys.

What About the Future?

So, what does the future hold? Well, I will continue to refine what it is I am doing and explore and develop new ideas and strategies. I fancy spending some time looking at how we can implement these Slow strategies into the workplace and how by embracing the Slow Philosophy we can actually become more productive and successful, but with less stress and waste (as William Morris puts it “useful work rather than useless toil”). Some of the ideas I have are rather grand, others very simple and down to earth.

Work wise (I have never made any excuses about the fact I am make my living through this site!) I want to increase the number of clients that I have, and start to drip feed out quality information products to help people, including guided mediations, a (long overdue) eCourse, and a book (a proper book, not an ebook, I like proper books). I have taken my time as I wanted to be clear about what it was I am actually doing before I released anything. I am still doing coaching and training in NLP, and have some new exciting things going on over there too, but here is not the place to discuss my plans with that (although they do dovetail).

And I fancy a facelift of this site too. Not that I don’t love the job that Eric did when he set it up for me, but that was a year and half ago and a nice redecoration is probably due. But that will have to wait a little while yet.

Right then here is to a Slow and Successful 2011, I hope you stick around for the journey!

Matt

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International Day of Slowness

Written by on June 22, 2010

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

According to “The Slow Society” yesterday (21st June – the Summer Solstice) was the “International Day of Slowness“. I only just found out about it (what do you expect really? This is about “slow” after all…). It is one of several “International Days of Slowness” I have come across. The great thing about the Slow Movement is that is not organised control or dictated by one central body and is a cultural movement by groups of individuals and organisations around the globe (the Slow Movement is essentially anarchic in it’s approach which is something I like about it), so there are several organisations that exist that promote the Slow Philosophy and each have their own calendars.

It is nice to have a day devoted to something, as the collective focus and energy of all the people involved can have a real effect, but if you missed it (like I did), then there is no need to worry or beat yourself, you can have you own “Personal Day of Slowness” whenever you want.

In fact, isn’t the aim to have a “Day of Slowness” every day anyway? But what I would recommend is to set aside a day every week (or month, or whenever you can manage it for now) to really slow down, almost grind to a halt in fact (isn’t this what Sunday’s used to be? Before our 24 hour, 7 days a week hare-brained culture really took over?)

Robert Wringham in his most recent Escapologists Diary (Escapology and Slow make good bed fellows) discusses a day he recently stayed in due to the rain (you can read it here), which, to me, encompasses an ideal “Slow Day” (although, obviously the content can change to suite your tastes and needs).

So, how to do go about having a slow day? And what do you do in it?

1. “Go Dark”

Switch off your phone, Internet, TV and radio (apart from Radio 3 or some other soothing sounds.). We are bombarded for almost 24 hours a day with news, information and demands. As little as 15 years ago, very few of us had the Internet or mobile phones and we got on perfectly fine. Remind yourself that technology is your servant not your master by switching it all off once in awhile.

2. Go for a Stroll

We think at walking speed, yet life forces us to think and act much, much faster. No wonder we are stressed, flustered and feel under constant pressure to “keep up”. Walking is not only excellent form of idle exercise, it is a way to reconnect with and slow down our thought process, contemplate and ponder. Who knows what ideas you will have or what amazing insights you will uncover.

And whilst you are out and about…

3. Look Around!

Look at the beauty that surrounds you, pay attention to nature, watch the clouds and make shapes in them, really notice the things you look at every day, but rarely see. We only have this moment, yet how often do we truly live in it? How often are lost in a memory or a daydream of the future. Be in the now, this is all there is.

4. Have a Nap

There is nothing more energising for the mind, body and spirit than a quick nap in the afternoon. You know, that lull after lunch where you are not sure what to do next and feel a bit sleepy as your body digests its food. Go one, have a kip…

5. Read a Good Book

How many books have you got on your bookshelf that you have always wanted to read, but somehow never got round to? Pick one, get comfy and lose yourself in it.

A friend once told me that you should always read. If you don’t read you only get to live one lifetime, if you read you live thousands.

6. Cook and Appreciate All the Food You Eat

How often do you heat up pre-prepared food and then wolf it down whilst sat in front of the TV? There is something liberating about cooking your own food from scratch and then taking the time to appreciate it. Own cooked food tastes better and is healthier (and often cheaper to make) than pre-prepared stuff. Take some time to plan your meal, cook it and then sit and eat it at the table, not in front of the TV and really savour it.

If that is a bit too much at this current stage in your slowing down process, then just bake your own bread, it is very simple, cheap and easy to do and incredibly satisfying.

7. Catch up with Old Friends, the Old-fashioned Way

With email, text, instant messenger and facebook it has never been easier to stay in touch with someone. But when was the last time you really connected with your friends? Had a good sit down and a chinwag? Modern technology gives us the illusion of being connected with someone without actually being connected.

So, invite your friends round for a cuppa, go to the pub, drink and be merry, or make a telephone call (from your landline…) if you can’t get to see them face-to-face.

8. Write a Letter

Feeling a bit adventurous? Can’t get hold of your friend right now? They live too far away to pop round? Then write them a letter!

Emails are a great way to send instant messages. They are fine for business or quick bits of organisation or fact finding, but can you put a pressed flower in an email? Can you seal it with a loving kiss? Letters imbue part of the writers soul onto the paper; the effort and ritual of finding some nice paper, a good quality pen and, with your best handwriting, commit your thoughts and feelings to paper gives a letter something an email can never have.

And you can get it delivered anywhere in the country, next day, for less than 50p, or anywhere in the world, in just a few days, for the cost of a pint! Isn’t that great value? Isn’t it worth it?

Of course, these are just suggestions, you may have your own ideas of what you would do on your slow day (and if you tried to do all these things you would be pretty busy!). Really you can do anything, as long the intention is to do it in a Slow way, to be mindful, unflustered and unhurried, to be frugal and use just enough resources (time, energy and money) to do each thing. And to enjoy it! Slow isn’t about being puritanical or pious! To me Slow is mindset that leads to a new lifestyle, do things with the right intention behind it and everything becomes “Slow”.

Matt

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SlowCast Season 2

Written by on June 10, 2010

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

You can listen to episode one of SlowCast Season 2 here, or subscribe in iTune here

I owe all you listeners out there a huge apology, as it has been well over 6 months since my last SlowCast. But hey, these are SlowCasts after all!

In the first episode of season 2 I discuss the future of SlowCasting and my SlowMedia Manifesto.

I hope you enjoy it!

Matt

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The 3 Keys to a Slow and Happy Life

Written by on April 29, 2010

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

One of the reasons I stopped blogging so regularly was because, well, I was running out of things to say.

You see, the Slow life is the simple life is the easy life.

And, so in my quest to become slower, unflustered, uncomplicated and uncluttered, I often found that I was practicing the same things over and over again, getting a bit better each day.

This doesn’t sit too well with the blogging principle, which requires lots of content, regularly.

A lot of blogs I have seen on simple living, minimalism and related topics, are ironically complex (and repetitive) and not really simple or minimal at all! I can only assume that is to try and keep up with the current blogging paradigm of regular content, regardless of quality.

Slow being what it is, if I did a blog every day, or even every week it would soon become repetitive or I would be tempted to over complicate the issue just to give me something to write about.

This is in direct opposition of my personal philosophy of stripping everything, as much as possible, back to its bare bones, by asking the question “what absolutely has to be there?”

Why? Well I am clutter monkey, I tend towards over-complication if I am left to my own devices (I ALWAYS pack to much when I go on holiday!) and it takes a lot of disciple for me to keep things simple (it was one of the reasons I got involved in the Slow movement in the first place).

As Einstein is quoted as having said (whether he actually said it or not I don’t know): “Keep everything as simple as possible, but no simple.”

So in this spirit of simplicity, what are the 3 keys to a slow and happy life?

Well, as I said in my previous post (here), I believe that everything comes from cultivating the slow mindset or “tortoise mind”.

So these 3 keys are the keys to creating your tortoise mind. Once you cultivate them you will find yourself able to more easily embrace the slow life, the minimalist approach and simple living.

1. Mindfulness

This really is the key to slowing down. Life is only happening in the NOW, yet how often do you really pay attention to the present moment? How often are you on autopilot or thinking about what you are doing tonight or tomorrow, or lost in a memory?
How often do you get hung up on things, wave the ride of emotion; panic, fear nervousness?

Learn to embrace the now, to lose your self in the moment, to appreciate the little things:

Really focus on the food your eat and notice the explosion of flavours your often miss, the texture, the sensation, the emotions and memories it conjures up….

When in the shower, focus on the sensation of the water splashing against your skin, the smell of the shower gel…

You get the idea?

2. Gratitude

“Poverty is not the absence of goods but rather the overabundance of desire”

Plato

There is an interesting psychological phenomenon called habitation, which basically means if we see, do, or experience the same thing over and over again, we stop paying attention to it.

This process is what our modern consumer culture relies on. It makes us acutely aware of what we haven’t got and makes subtle changes to “this years model” to keep us wanting the new and exciting versions.

One of the fastest ways to overcome this process is to be consciously grateful for what we have. Every day make a list of at least 10 things you really appreciate in your life, this can be anything from the fact you have a house, to reminding yourself why you bought the car/watch/TV/whatever that your bought (it can be something really simple, basic or seemingly silly, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are grateful for it). Really feel the gratitude. You will find you will become more mindful and crave new things and experiences less and less.

3. Compassion

The final key to a slow and happy life is to be compassionate to our fellow wo/man.

This doesn’t mean being a drip or a push over, it is about recognising that everyone is doing the best with what they have got and making the best decision they can at the time according to the information and criteria they are using (no matter how stupid or annoying, or “wrong” it may seem to you) and that you have done stupid things in your past and will again in the future.

You don’t have to become an over emotional lovey, who runs round hugging everyone one, you just need to forgive people.

It really is that simple, just forgive them.

That will free yourself up of all the stress, anger and rage about things you can do nothing about. Just stop, take a deep breath, say (silently in your own head) “I forgive you” and relax. See how good that makes you feel?

Once you have got the hang of forgiving peoples wrongs (or perceived wrongs!) against you, you will find you will become more patient, mindful and often more polite (which is a very good thing).

So there we have it, the 3 simple keys to slowing down. If you just practice these 3 keys each day, you will find you will be Slower and happier in no time!

Matt

PS, I have added a merchandise and recommended reading list to the “Buy Stuff” page, go check it out.

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Slow Down from the Inside Out

Written by on March 24, 2010

 THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

When I initially came across the slow movement, idling, and associated fields, it wasn’t Slow Food, or Slow Travel, or even Slow Sex, or any of those external activities that caught my attention, it was the philosophy behind the slow movement and the mindset you developed from embracing that philosophy; the psychology of slow, or the “tortoise mind”.

I was fascinated with the idea of how, by slowing down your thoughts and actions, you become more relaxed, happier, less stressful, but also, in some (if not all) cases, more productive and more “successful” (whatever that word means to you) too.

I saw developing a tortoise mind, to become an “idler” or a slow person as a key and essential ingredient in not just becoming a happier, but a better person.

I saw slowing down as an “inside out” rather than “outside in” process. By becoming a “tortoise minded” individual I felt that then the rest of the elements of the Slow Movement, such as travel, food, etc would naturally become an extension of who you are, rather than trying to embrace these activities to try and slow yourself down (which is a bit like trying to stop an out of control truck doing 150mph by grabbing hold of the tailgate – it probably won’t work…). When you have developed your “tortoise mind” you will start to notice how unnecessary your old fast habits were and you will naturally be drawn to slower way of doing things.

So, I developed in my mind a sort of archetype of the ideal slow person or idler, the sort of person who can be centred and gathered and unflustered even the fastest and most hectic of surroundings.

Then I had a goal to aim for and I could take my training and skills in psychology, coaching, NLP, hypnosis, mindfulness, etc and start develop exercise and techniques to hopefully get me (and other people) to achieve that ideal.

Some people are naturally like this; I am sure you have seen them. I usually see them at airports, where you have been up at an ungodly hour to catch your flight, you are tired, disorientated and grumpy, you have been hauling your luggage around (you have probably packed far too much, but forgotten something essential), you have been queuing up, waiting your turn, getting bored and frustrated and sick of being battered, bumped into and treated like a total idiot.

Then they turn up. The idler. The archetypal “tortoise minded” person.  They casually swan in with the smallest luggage you have ever seen, calm and unflustered, they are well dressed, relaxed and look damn good. They are smiling, happily and annoyingly polite. Somehow they end up ahead of you in the queue (but didn’t push in), they seem to get the best (or only) seats left in the airport lounge (but are willing to give it up to someone else more in need of the seat, just to find another seat a few minutes later!), the fastest queue and, at the gate, you notice they have been upgraded! They take this with the calm polite modesty and remain pleasant to the end. All their movements are graceful, calm, measured and seemingly frustratingly slow (they stroll nonchalantly along), yet they seem to get everywhere before you, who has been rushing and flapping…

And, if you happen to be going to the same location as them on holiday, you notice they are always perfectly suitably turned out (how did they manage that with the tiny luggage?), fresh, alert, polite and get the last sun lounger!

Don’t you just hate them (because you want to be like them)?!

I am still working on it; that is my ideal goal (at the moment). The reason I was drawn to the slow philosophy was because I was a flustered, twitchy, super-fast person (and it was doing me no good at all), so I have quite a long way to go yet (although I am getting there)…

Pop over to the free stuff page for much more advice and ideas on how to develop your inner idler.

Matt

PS, I am still working on new content for the static pages. Please bear with me, I am getting there slowly…

:)

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Slower Than Expected Blogging

Written by on February 27, 2010

 THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Unfortunately, due to a few changes in my day-to-day life recently I am going to have to put this blog on a bit of a hiatus. It doesn’t mean I am stopping this blog, it just means that entries will be even slower than usual.

For more regular updates you can visit my twitter feed (I am finally getting the hang of it), I have added an update bar at the side of this blog that you can see (or click on the link under “social profiles” to follow me on twitter). In my twitter feed I talk about everything that interests me from the Slow Movement, to NLP, to philosophy, to random thoughts and ideas.

A Slight Facelift

As you can probably see, if you are regular visitor here, that I have made a few changes around here (partly to reflect my current situation and partly to update it to my changing attitudes towards the slow philosophy). I am updating these pages as and when I can and should get it done in a week or two.

Giving it All Away

Because of the changes, I have had to also put a hold on the online course I was planning to launch. To make up for that, click on the “free stuff” tab and you can download:

“Welcome to the Slow Life”
This 48 minute audio and 44-page ebook (an edited transcript of the audiobook) covers everything you need to know about the Slow Movement, slowing down, the idler and as well as exercises, tips and techniques to help you slow down right away.

“Deep Relaxation Primer” Audio Programme
In this audio programme you will be taken through a simple exercise that will help you deeply relax and remove all that tension and stress from your body and mind and allow you take on life with an increased sense of wellbeing, confidence and vitality.

“What’s the Rush” ebook
This 32-page ebook gives you ten simple tips to start slowing down, including breathing and postural exercise, a portrait of an idler and an Idlers Journal.

“Welcome to the Slow Live – LIVE!!” Audio 
This talk was recorded LIVE at the Vision For Living Festival in Cardiff on the 31st October 2009.

Coaching and Consulting

I am still seeing people for one to one coaching in how to slow down, mindfulness, etc. But my time is now a bit more limited. If  you are interested in coaching, either face-to-face on by Skype please click on the coaching tab.

Well, as Lau Tzu once said “May you live in interesting times. Or die of boredom“, I am certainly living in interesting times at the moment! I will be back with more updates as often as I can.

Matt

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Make 2010 Your Year for Slowing Down!

Written by on January 19, 2010

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

(Please excuse the brazen “plug” nature of this blog post)

In the spirit of New Years Resolutions, make 2010 your year for slowing down…

If you are serious about slowing down this year and want make certain your succeed, one of the easiest, and most powerful ways is a series of one-to-one coaching sessions.

I will work with you to develop an individual plan for you to start slowing down. A full assessment will be taken of your current situation and then we will work together to help you develop a plan for slowing down.

Throughout the process I will give you all the support and help you need to succeed in your wish to slow down.

To give you idea of the sort of thing that coaching can do, have a look at the process I did for Cosmopolitan Magazine in October 2009. To read the article, go to www.cosmpolitan.co.uk or CLICK HERE.

As a New Year offer, you can book 3 sessions for the price of 2!

Sessions can be carried out over the phone or via skype (which is totall free to install and use and much cheaper than a phone call!), or face to face if you are located in Birmingham or Cardiff, UK. I have worked with people all over the world and sessions can be booked at a time to suite you.

For more information, please go to my coaching page here, or click here to contact me to book a session.

(Here endeth the plug).

Matt

PS, I jumped the gun a bit last week announcing the “Welcome to the Slow Life” eCourse, I have had a few technical hiccups that has slowed(!) the process down, hopefully the first enrolment will start in the next few weeks. To register your interest and get a special “pre-registration” discounted price of $39.99 please click here to contact me putting “Welcome the Slow Life Pre-registration” in the comments box  and I will add you to the list and send you some free goodies!

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New Years ReSLOWlutions…

Written by on January 12, 2010

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Well hello and welcome to a new year and a new decade. You may think it is a bit late for a New Years Resolutions blog entry. But I only came back to “work” today, as yesterday was Plough Monday.

Plough Monday

References to Plough Monday date back to the late 15th century, and was the traditional start of the English agricultural (therefore, working) year.

Plough Monday is generally the first Monday after Twelfth Day (Epiphany), 6th January. So, those of you that started work before this day, shame on you! Call yourself an Idler or a follower of Slow?

The day traditionally saw the resumption of work after the Christmas period. A plough was often hauled from house to house in a procession, collecting money. This was often accompanied by musicians, an old woman or a boy dressed as an old woman, called the “Bessie”, and a man in the role of the “fool”. There would be “goose dancing” and considerable drinking and revelry.

The Plough Monday customs (like most cool old traditions) declined in the 19th century with the change to an industrialised society.

Resolutions the Slow Way

Did you managed to slow down your Christmas and eek it out until Epiphany? Or was it as hectic as ever and went the blink of an eye?

Have you made any New Years resolutions? It all seems to be a bit ridiculous really, as the start of each day is technically a start of a New Year, but I have to admit to quite liking the idea of New Year as a time to take stock, reflect and plan ahead. Really that was what the Winter Solstice was initially about and winter is the ideal time to sit back, reflect and plan.

So how do you do resolutions the Slow Way?

1. Be Honest

Do you really want to do it? Or are you just doing it because you think you should? If you really don’t want to do it, you won’t even manage the 1st step! So relax and enjoy yourself.

2. Resolving NOT to do Something?

Unfortunately, we live hectic and busy lives. So trying to add more to it will often mean that you won’t stick to it (the old “last in, first out” principle), so whilst resolving to do some new things, also make sure you resolve NOT to do some things as well. See here for more information on starting your own NOT to do list and click here to download your own, so you can get started straight away!

3. Limit Yourself

Doing too much, will mean you will overwhelm yourself and give in. So do one thing at a time for about 15 minutes a day (if that) and ease into it gently. You will find you will get more done and the changes will last longer than if you try and do it all at once!

Read more about how limiting yourself can make you more productive at Leo Babauta’s excellent blog “Zen Habits” here: www.zenhabits.net

4. Enjoy the Journey

There is nothing worse than aiming for some future goal and having a miserable time trying to achieve it.  Ask yourself “what is the most fun way I can achieve this goal?” (not the quickest). Life is a journey, not a destination…

COMING SOON! “Welcome to the Slow Life” Online eCourse.

Make 2010 your year for slowing down. In keeping with the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions, I am launching a 6-week “Welcome to the Slow Life” eCourse to inspire, guide and support you in your pursuit of a slower life.

Each week you will be emailed a module on a specific topic where you will be given practical tips you can incorporate into your everyday life and exercises and experiments to try out. I hope that at the end of the course you’ll have a new, deeper appreciation of the slow philosophy and a richer, more fulfilling life:

Module 1: Introduction

Module 2: Creating Space to be Slow

Module 3: Mindful Living and Appreciating the Present Moment

Module 4: Slow Wealth

Module 5: Slow Health

Module 6: Bringing it all together and planning your Slow Life

During the 6 weeks of your course, you will access to me via email to ask questions, get clarification or explore a topic in more detail.

You will also receive:

  • “Welcome to the Slow Life” eBook and Audiobook
  • “Deep Relaxation Primer” Audio Programme
  • VERY SPECIAL BONUS: Welcome to the Slow Live – LIVE!!

Enrolment Fee: I am offering a very special rate of $49.99 ($39.99 for pre-registration) for the first run of the course (usual price will be $79.99).

I have to admit, I have got a little over excited and jumped the gun a bit with this announcement, the course isn’t quite ready yet and will be launching very soon.

So, to get a sneak peak and the chance to sign up at a reduced “pre-registration” course ($39.99) fee email me by filling out the contact form here and just put “Welcome to the Slow Life pre-registration” in the message box. I will add your name to the mail list and email you a cool “sneak peak” at the course.

Matt

PS, What are your plans to make 2010 a Slower Year than last year? Leave you comments below…

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The Overflowing Teacup

Written by on November 17, 2009

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

“Once, a university professor went to visit a Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked continuously about Zen, his thoughts, his ideas, his understands and his questions… As he spoke the master poured the visitor’s cup to the brim, but then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself “It’s full! No more will go in!” the professor blurted. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup.”"

I am, I have to admit, a terrible “grass is greener” sort of person. I have always been afraid I am missing out on something…

And, I have very broad interests, because of this I am easily (very easily) distracted, and can spend hours thinking about or researching (the internet can really be a curse) something completely irrelevant that I will forget about almost as soon as I have learned it.

I often feel like my teacup is flowing over and I can’t fit any more in. So I end up scattered and, to quote Bilbo Baggins “I feel… thin. Sort of stretched, like… butter scraped over too much bread…”

Which is not really the “Slow Way” (or if you are trying to sound all pretentious, you could be all faux Eastern, mystic and say the “Tao of Slow…”).

In fact, one of the things that first attracted me to the Slow movement and the Idle philosophy was the idea that I could reduce my field of interest. It showed me that I don’t need to know, do or try everything. That I am not really missing out on something if I am not at the forefront of it, if I don’t know everything about it with five minutes.

(I tell you, I am marketers dreams…)

But how do you practically stop yourself from doing this? How do you start to cut back on your fields of interest, of reducing your desire (addiction?) to the new, the fresh, the exciting, the smell of the grass over the fence?

How do you start limiting yourself?

The ‘Not Reading’ List

Ironically, I started limiting myself many years ago, before I had even heard of the Slow movement or before I even realised that I really, really needed to.

When I was at school I was told I was “word blind” (whatever that is?) and that I wouldn’t able to read very well (nothing like a nice positive suggestion is there??), so I hated reading, I was slow and it would take me weeks to read something that other people would read in a day.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I left school and thought “Stuff ‘em, if I want to read, I will read!” and started devouring books (I was – and still am – a slow reader, but at least I was motivated to try and read).

I fell in love with books, but soon found that (because I read slowly), if I just rushed to read a book just for the sake of reading that book, I wouldn’t retain any information and it was a pointless waste of time.

I realised I was probably not going to be able to read every book I wanted (or felt I should) and that I needed some form of plan.

At that point I started a ‘NOT Reading’ list and listed books I had no intention of ever reading:

Number one on the list was Gulliver’s Travels.

Number two was anything by Stephen King.

It was of course a dynamic list and I have since read some of the books I had placed on that list (I put “3 Men and Boat” on there as a bit of a knee jerk reaction, because someone kept pestering me that I should read it…), but the sense of relief I got from the decision not to read a book (and stopping beating myself up about having not got round to it) outweighed the gnawing sensation that I was missing out on something…

I still buy too many books. But there you go…

Anyway, I used this same principle to begin a ‘NOT to Do’ list…

The ‘NOT To Do’ List

Since getting into Slow and embracing its philosophy I have expanded this idea to write a ‘NOT To Do List’, things I never intend to do. Ever.

Number one on the list was “Extreme Sports”. There seems to be an odd belief that to “live life to the full” you need to have bungee jumped off a high bridge in Africa or other such pastimes. I spent most of my teens hanging around with these extreme sports guys, doing climbing and white water canoeing and such. And I hated every minute of it (other than the climbing – see my obituary of John Bachar here). It just scared me silly (it was only years later that I discovered the principle of high and low acting arousal systems and found out why I was so scared when everyone else seemed to love it.)

So when I decided to develop my NOT to do list that went straight at number one.

Number Two was backpacking (or “travelling” if you are more of a pretentious ilk). For years I felt like I had missed out on something because I didn’t go travelling when I was younger (it was besides the point I didn’t fancy the idea of cheap flights and fleapit hostels), and always thought I should do it.

Once I added those two to the list I felt an immense sense of relief. I managed to shrug off 2 massive hang-ups that I had.

Then I was on a role!

(Not that I am saying you shouldn’t be doing those, I am just using them as an illustration of things I have added to my not to do list and why. You may love extreme sports and backpacking. In which case, go for your like!).

Recently I have added Internet Forums to the list  (I just can’t cope with all the bickering) and I am seriously thinking about adding Twitter. I don’t get it and I can’t be bothered and it stresses me out because I feel I should be on twitter (because everyone else is, right? See, how this works?).

Tim Ferriss calls this “selective ignorance”, he uses it mainly in the context of information overload and doesn’t read papers and only checks his email once a week (I am still developing my slow email strategy – I will write about it once I have it sorted-ish).

Sherlock Holmes, that famous fictional detective, was well known for having very little “general knowledge” and avoided anything that didn’t directly effect (or is that ‘affect’? I am never sure) what he is currently working on. Although he knew a lot (he is often considered a polymath), he only knew it in the context of what he needed it for (I am not suggesting you be this strict with yourself!)

How do you start your ‘NOT To Do’ List?

Easy. But it does take a bit soul searching and discipline; you have to be honest with yourself.

I highly recommend you treat your ‘Not To Do’ list in the exactly the same way as a ‘To Do’ list: Write it down. Not on a scrap of paper, but in a decent notebook (so you won’t lose it). I also add a date and a reason why (some things I have added to my list I have come back to years later and can’t remember why I added them in the first place).

So, what do you put your list?

Well, listing things you never intended to do in the first place can act as catalyst to get you going, but it does seem a bit pointless if you have already, resolutely, made up your mind you are not going to do it. I could add “join the BNP” to my list if I wanted, but that seems rather daft…

So, begin with things that you feel you should do (see the “dreaded shoulds” here), these are often the things we struggle with in a our daily lives, never really get round to doing (because you don’t really want to do it), but they seem to gnaw await at you, you get a nagging feeling you ought do them…

Then start listing things you are doing now just for the sake of. You probably have lots of habits that have just developed over the years that no longer really have any reasonable function, you just do them because you have always done them.

Not sure if it should be on the list? Put it on for a week and see if you miss it, if you last a week, leave it there for a month, if after a month you still haven’t needed to do or missed it, put it on forever.

You see, the idea of a good ‘NOT To Do’ list, is to start cutting back on what you are doing now as well as resolving not to do new (irrelevant) things.

Then of course, it frees up time and energy (and, often, money too) to do the things you actually want to do, but we will talk about that next time…

Matt

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