How to Slow Down Again

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I thought since I have recently falling off the Slow train I would discuss in this blog some ways to start slowing down again if you find yourself accidentally slipping back into those fast, hare brained ways….

1. Don’t Give Up!
We are used to demanding and getting results very quickly and if we don’t we become impatient and give up and move onto the next thing that will give us that instant gratification.

But don’t give up, it is natural that we will slip up and make mistakes from time to time, doesn’t mean we have to give up. Thomas Edison took over 2000 attempts to make a light bulb after all…

2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up About It
We all make mistakes, beating yourself up will just mean it will take longer to get back on the slow train. And it will make you feel bad. So, what’s the point. Self criticism, like over-confidence, is a hare brained process.

3. Pay Attention.
Become mindful of your thought processes, and the feelings you are getting. Don’t judge it, just be mindful of the thoughts and feelings, this will help you stop associating with the mistake and give you some distance and perspective to remind yourself why you want to slow down. Use that thought to motivate yourself to start slowing down again.

4. STOP!
Don’t rush to get back on the Slow train. Rushing to Slow Down in is rather absurd don’t you think? Take some time off, an hour, a day, a week, however much time you have and think you need. Chill out relax, don’t actively do anything either slow or fast, just make some space

5. Learn From It
What was it that caused you to fall off? Was it a specific event? Or a series of things? Was it your thinking? Your organisation skills? See what it was and then focus your time in sorting that area out…

6. Start Slowing Down Again. Slowly.
Pick one of the key area’s of slowing down. Maybe de-cluttering your life, maybe practicing being mindful, maybe focusing on single tasking and slowly start adding more slow processes. Before you know it you will be back in the Slow swing of things!
I am still tinkering with the site, adding bits and bobs, if you find anything that isn’t working, please let me know

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PS, Just claiming my new blog on  technorati:

Technorati Profile

Normal Service Has Resumed

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Well hello and welcome back, or should I say welcome to my new home. I am sure you have seen the previous post, so I don’t need to talk about the new site. Obviously, it is brand spanking new and just out of it’s wrapper so there are some tweaks and changes that need to be done, like adding more ads (want to advertise? Contact me), adding the links so you can actually buy something in the store rather than look, etc.

But anyway, as a first proper post back I should really make this an apology. You see I feel royally off the Slow Wagon about a month ago and have only just got back on it. I didn’t take my own advice and was disorganised and trying to do about 10 things at once, this not only stopped me from blogging but also meant that once everything had ground to a halt and I was free from all the hectic hubbub I got struck down with an almighty cold that turned into chest AND ear infection and laid me out for a couple of weeks.

So here I am, back on fighting form and ready to get going again, a new podcast will be coming tomorrow hopefully. In the meantime I will review the old posts, see what I was talking about and carry on from there. Probably. Or   may do something totally new. I haven’t decided yet!

Either way, I will be back posting regular hints and tips of how to slow down and keeping you informed of my continuing adventures.

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Slow News Friday

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I have decided to do a new feature, every Friday (well, really, every Friday that I can) I am going to discuss any news story or stories that have come up this week that have a slow angle…

And as luck would have it, this story appeared in the newspaper just today:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/primaryeducation/5019030/School-cuts-lunch-hour-and-replaces-playtime.html

This utterly ridiculous and a symptom of the continued pressure place on on children and parent  (by whom?) to perform better.

Can’t children just left to be children for awhile?! The study reported here:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,482840,00.html

Suggested that this increased pressure on children at school has more negative effects than positive one.

Really. Is this pushing children so hard necessary? When I talk about the concept of “Slow Work” I often talk about how children rarely disguish between work and play and are quite happy to do what we would consider hard toil. And the key to a stress free working life is to regain that childlike attitude to work.

But, with these absurd new approaches children will have that (essential?) play taken away.

If you want a more measured and probably saver and productive way to bring up children I highly recommend you read Carl Honares book Under Pressure: Putting the Child Back In Childhood: Putting the Child Back into Childhood and Tom Hodgkinsons book The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids.

Matt

What is Slow?

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rh_nav170_berksThe people at BBC Radio Berkshire are much nicer than Stephen Nolan. They were actually interested in what I had to say and listened. I think I may have gabbled a little bit (I was so excited that they were actually interested!) and probably sound out of breath as seconds before I went on air, my 2 dogs started barking at random things (Jack Russell’s eh?), so I had to shoo them downstairs and shut the door!

But any way, they allowed me to talk much more about how it is easier to balance your life and there are some very effective strategies to cope with this downturn that are certainly not patronising. But can even be fun and more enjoyable than your old fast life. If you give it a chance.

But it does take quite an effort to change your perspective.

Which is my job really. Often I get asked “Do I really need someone to tell me to slow down?” and my answer is always “No, but you probably need help actually slowing down. It is not that easy (if it were we would all do it and the economy and planet wouldn’t be in the mess that is it would it?).

Anyway after my savaging by Stephen Nolan and Charlie Mullins (did you know he owns Pimlico Plumbers? Do you think he mentioned it enough in the Five Live thing? Do you get the impression, like me, that he was only there to plug his company? As he certainly had nothing useful, interesting, or even factual to add to the discussion).

Incidentally, before I go on, I would like to point I have done plenty of media work before including radio and (pre-recorded and live) TV, so I am not some media virgin, moaning about my ill treatment at the hands of the mean radio people. It is just the first time (well second actually, I had a rather…“cold” half an hour once in the company of Ed Doolan on BBC WM!), that I felt I had been stitched right up!

So, back to the point, after my somewhat bad reception I was thinking of ways to explain what I do simply and succinctly. So, when someone asks me what I do (as people always do – why do we define people by what they do for a living?).

So I have prepared this:

You know…

You feel life is running away, with you and you feeling like you are always rushing to keep up, you are always tired and stressed and never really seem to have the time to appreciate what you have got or do the things you want to do. You crave things that you don’t really want ad feel you SHOULD do a lot of things you don’t want to?

Well what I do is…

Well what I do is help you slow down, take control of your life and really start appreciating what you have and find the time and energy to do what you really want.

AS a work in progress…

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Get in Quick?!

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fireworks Well, unless you have been living under a rock for the last 12 months you cant help but have noticed the US Presidential election. Which is finally over today.

I can’t help but think it is the right choice.

But where does Slow fit into other accepted categories of politics, philosophy, religion, economics? Well, I personally think that Slow can enhance any of these, traditionally Slow through the ages has always been a bit “counter-culture” a bit rebellious and on the fringes of accepted society. But that is certainly no longer the case, with the rise of the current Slow Movement you can see ho it has been accepted much more into the current accepted paradigm with everyone starting to recognised the effect of our current obsession with speed and the need to slow down for the good of our own physical and mental health, society, economy and environment.

In fact because the slow philosophy now has such brad reaching effects it will, I am sure, continue to grow and become much more of an effective force within our society.

So get it quick, so you can say you were there from the start!

Anyway, more tomorrow, I am off to set off some fireworks!

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Secret Agent of Change

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obamalogoI suppose I should be non-partisan and just mention the monumentous America election that is going on today.

So I won’t share I personal political views with you. Probably.

Although it is hard not to make a political stance when you are talking about Slow. Slow is not just about you slowing yourself down, it is difficult to do in isolation, what you do effects the people around you, like ripples spreading out after dropping a pebble in a pond. As you start to slow down you will make decisions, some small, some large that will effect the world. You actions will act as demonstrations and inspiration to those that see them

And it is easier to slow down as a community than as single person. Unless you are a hermit. In which case you are probably already pretty slow and don’t really need to be reading this.

SO, as you start to slow down you will, whether you mean to or not, become a Secret Agent of Slow (or SAS, like that?). It is better to lead by example than it is to preach and get all evangelical. Sure, as you start to see the benefits of slowing down on your life, you will naturally want to tell other people about it. But don’t get all superior and start having “slow off’s” with your friends. That is far too yuppie 80’s dinner party where they showed off about Porsche’s and Rolex’s.

So don’t do that! Sure offer advice, info and guidance. But the real trick of being an SAS is to go out and make people feel good for no good reason! Whether that is the person at the check out in the supermarket, someone at the bus queue or the person next to at work. It doesn’t matter. Just make them smile! Give them a compliment, tell them a joke, get them a coffee, it doesn’t matter. Being Slow is about making meaningful connections with people, about a sense of community and belonging, not being a busy body or a nosey parker (don’t you just love that phrase?!), but just getting to know people…

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The Little Things

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I live just south of the Brecon Beacons in Wales, it is a beautiful part of the country, walking the dogs this morning I could see the snow on the peaks in the distance.

Unfortunately I can’t get up there walking, as I have to go off to do a talk for a corporation (I still have bits and bobs of work from my “old life” as a corporate trainer and coaching and NLP bloke – they obviously don’t know my superhero identity of “The Slow Coach”…)

One of things that really turned me off this current coaching scene is the constant striving, the “be the best you can be” rhetoric, the constant need to improve and prove yourself (to who?), it is the domain of the desperately insecure and why it seems to attract the nerdier (and needier) element of society. Who often end up just kidding themselves that they are better, cooler, smarter and more capable than they actually are. Who over use adjectives like “excellent” and “outstanding” and have fake smiles plastered across their faces, afraid to admit they feel a little tired, or a bit down occasionally…

I was watching spooks last night (strange how things crop up in the most unexpected places) and one of the characters said the following quote:

“Happiness isn’t about getting what you want, it is about appreciating what you have.”

You think you life is really bad and there is nothing to appreciate? Allow me to draw your attention to my very good friend Steve, who has done a good bit of media lately. He is a tetraplegic, basically he his paralysed from the neck, has been for 25 years (we recently celebrated his anniversary – anything is a good excuse for a party, right?!). He was interviewed because of the sad story of the rugby player Daniel James who died in assisted suicide. Steve was asked his opinion on it. And he said his advice to people in the same situation? Don’t do it, you can always find something you appreciate in what you have got, friends, family, doing something for the community, it could be even more simple than that, a favourite food, activity, film.

We seem to think things need to be BIG to be good, we have lost the appreciation of the little things. But the “little” things are often much bigger than the BIG things. It is just the way we look at things. Think about it.

Me? Seeing the beautiful sight of the snow on the Brecon’s was enough for me today. What more do I need. What about you? Why not make a list of the things, the little things, that you do or have now, that you may over look or take for granted that make you happy.

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Slow Time Part 1

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Today is a chores day. I have had lots of bits and bobs I needed to do.

And it is also very, very cold and snowing, but that is by and by.

I like the word “chore” rather than task, or “to do” or project. They all send shudders down my spine . Chore is a nice gentle word, the same as “errand” or “potter”.

If you perceive something as a task or subscribe to one of those dreadful, painfully overcomplicated time management system that are just really a total waste, then you can easily become overwhelmed

One of the key components of Slow is about being organised. Mess and disorganisation is anathema to an Idler. You have to have a certain amount of self discipline to live the Slow life, it is the simple life, the easy life, but it isn’t the lazy, thoughtless life.

How you organise yourself is really up to you and does not require a fancy pda or time management system or expensive diary. You just need to keep track of what it is that you need to do and do it at regular intervals (very important when it comes to things like bills, you need to pay them on time!). Whether that is doing a bit each day or saving it up and doing it once a week or once a month. Personally I put everything I get in a great big pile and tackle it one morning a week (which happened to be today), I then make a nice long list in a little book

As for diaries, I have tried them all, the big fancy (and expensive ones) like the Franklin Covey system, to computerised ones on a pda or iphone and have never really found one that suited. Until now.

I recently picked up the “Idlers Diary 2009” by the guys at the Idler. And I cannot recommend it enough, full of lots of info about the medieval way of life, ways to skive, poems, receipes and all the holidays (including some long forgot ones to celebrate!)

You can buy The Idler Diary here from Amazon.co.uk 

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