Getting Rid of Want 1: Gratitude

SchumacherSiB200“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.”

- E. F. Schumacher (Economist, founder and exponent of “Buddhist Economics”)

Slowing down is a constant journey of discovery. This blog is as much a record of that journey as it as a place to offer advice, hints and strategies for how you can Slow Down.

The one thing I discovered about myself and the one thing I have been struggling to break is that I was a very “grass is greener” thinker. I was a marketers dream! As soon as I had something I would yearn for something new or something better! I always had the feeling that I was missing out on something and if I had “just one more thing” I would finally be happy.

Of course that never happens and all you do is want more and more. I know I am not alone! In fact that is typical of our high speed hare-brained society (and what our consumerist economy is based on – see my minor rant about toasters!). How far I had been distracted from my Buddhist studies in my early 20’s!!

So, how do you break that cycle of wanting and craving for something bigger, better, newer, faster?

Well first we have to understand why we crave those things:

Habituation

A sneaky trick of our nervous system (that dates back to cave(wo)man days) is something called habituation. Basically, the way this works is that we stop consciously paying attention to, or ‘habituate’ repeated experience – what is around us everyday. But when something new turns up we pay attention to it.

This was a useful and important survival strategy. It allows the limited attention of the conscious mind to be available for spotting difference. And in cave(wo)men days difference could be a threat (or an opportunity to take advantage of).

The Reticular Activating System

Another part of our nervous system is called the “Reticular Activating System” or “RAS” for short. Its job is like the doorman of our conscious mind. It decides, from the billions (or something like that) of stimuli we are bombarded with makes it to our conscious awareness. It decides through a series of criteria, but mainly by what we deem to be “emotionally” important to us.

So, what we focus on we get more of. Ever bought a new piece of clothing or new car and suddenly seen it everywhere, even though you never noticed it before? That is because the RAS now deems it important and makes you consciously aware of it, therefore you notice it more. Make sense?

It is no wonder that consumerism has thrived, it plays on these 2 basic “cave (wo)man” parts of our nervous system! We are bombarded by very cleverly crafted adverts that tap straight into our emotional response, therefore tricking the RAS into making us pay attention to it.

And combined with the process of habituation, it makes us very aware of what we haven’t got. No wonder we crave new things all of the time!!

But the good news is that, once we are aware of them, we can control our RAS and habituation process to reduce or remove our cravings for the “next big thing”.

So how do we get around process and rewire our nervous system to stop (or reduce) habituation and get our RAS working for us and not against us?

Well, a process I discovered was, ironically, from that film “The Secret”, I am sure you know the one, the one that tells you that you can get everything you want just by thinking about it? You have to be very specific with your greed though…

Well, one of the (very few) sensible things they recommend in that film is the idea of the gratitude rock (although you don’t need a rock to do it).

All you need to do is be (consciously) grateful for what you have. Simple huh? How often are you grateful for what you have? How often do you sit down, look around and recognise how good life really is?

To start with, think of the things you take for granted. The things you really don’t think about, like the fact you have a house, you have your health (hopefully), you have food to eat. You have friends and people who care about you. The real basics. Then move onto the more “luxurious” things that you have (these are often the places we have the most craving to replace), you have access to a computer to be reading this. Which means you have access to all the knowledge that the internet has to offer.

Do it now, think of 10 things that you are grateful that you have. It can be as basic or as detailed as you want. I often spend 5 – 10 a day thinking of things I am really glad that I have got! Give it a go for a few weeks and see how much your craving and want reduces over that time.

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Hare-Brained or Tortoise Minded?

Coming from a Personal Development background (although I have come to hate that phrase, but I don’t think is the remit of this post!) the thing that fascinated me about the Slow Movement (and because of my experience and interest, the first thing that I thought about when I discovered the Slow philosophy) was the psychological side of it: the thoughts, actions, behaviours, processes and beliefs that make us a fast or slow person.

That is why I define “Slow” as a philosophy that leads to a mindset, that creates a lifestyle. I see it in that order and focus on the mindset. To quote Michael Jackson “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself then make a change. Yeah, Na, na, na, na, na, na oh ho…” And all that.

It is something I have been fiddling with for some time and it is still in it’s embryonic stages, so I thought in this post I would list what I see as the difference between the Slow “Tortoise Minded” person and the Fast “Hare-Brained” person and see what your thoughts are, I will carry on with this as I get it all sorted out in my head.

Hare Brained

Busy

Hurried and flustered

Scattered

Distracted

Impatient

Controlling

Serious

Aggressive

Analytical

Stressed

Superficial

Active

Quantity THEN Quality

Selfish/ self centred

Tortoise Minded

Productive

Unhurried and unflustered

Centred

Mindful

Patient

Co-operative

Fun and Humour

Calm

Intuitive

Relaxed

Depth and resonance

Receptive

Quality THEN quantity

Making real meaning connections with people

What do you think?

I will explore more about this as my thoughts develop. But the idea is to map the “tortoise mind” of a slower person or idler, so that we can model and mimic that to help everyone slow down!

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Practical Idling #2: Adventures in Baking Bread Pt1

Over the weekend I was catching up on the new River Cottage TV series, River Cottage: Summers Here. I am a terrible armchair downsizers, I watch all these TV shows and read the books and then don’t do anything about it! I remember starting “The Slow Guide to Downsizing” way back in October last year, which was meant to plot my attempts to grow my own veg etc and give you handy hits about what I had learned (partially to motivate me to do it!). Then I did nothing about it! And here we are in June and it is a tad late for any of that.

Which just reinforces my point that slowing down is not about being lazy or slothful. In fact it is the exact opposite. The fast lifestyle we live, with the convenience food and throwaway culture is the lazy, slothful way of life. Slow is about taking control and making the effort to reconnect with our lives and the things that our fast lifestyle is losing…

So, back to River Cottage. One of the things I have wanted to do for ages and I think a great place to start when reconnecting with our food (the current Slow Movement, after all, started with the Slow Food Movement back in the mid 80’s) and how it is made and where it comes from is to bake bread. It really isn’t that hard (so I have been told) and doesn’t take that long (there is a lot of hanging around and waiting where you can, if you want, go off and do other things). But I have never got round to it. Until now…

One of the episodes of River Cottage showed you how to bake bread and, inspired and motivated by this segment, I have decided to finally give it a bash. I have ordered “Bread: River Cottage Handbook No. 3 (River Cottage Handbook 3)” and will be posting my experiences, good or bad, on here, maybe even with some pictures and video!  More reports as events develop…

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The Best of Tortoise Knows Best So Far… (Part 3: The Podbean Days)

In the final instalment of this “Best of So Far… (up to June 09)” series is the Podbean days. Remember I will be continuing to be using Podbean for podcasts…

Save Your Money, Save the World!
Being Slow is not just about appreciating the time we have, it is a philosophy built on reducing waste. Wasted time, wasted resources, wasted money…

Finding the Space to Be Slow
The slow life is the simple life, is the easy life. To be able to slow down you need to create space to do so.

Slowing downing with the pressure of family and work.
I often here the “reason” that people can’t slow down is because of pressures of work and family…

De-clutter your mind to give you space to slow down.

Part 1: Capture

Part 2: Chunking

Part 3: Why?

Part 4: Lets Get Creative!

Part 5: Needs

Part 6: Shoulds

A Time Out, Practical Idling Number 1 – A Tea Break
The first (and so far only) entry into an infrequent series on “Practical Idling”…

2 Surprisingly Slow Books

1 – “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey

2 – “Getting Things Done: How to Achieve Stress-free Productivity” by David Allen.

How Slowing Down Can Make You (Appear) Psychic
The title says it all!

Mindfulness

Part 1: An Introduction

Part 2: Do Nothing

Part 3: A Simple Meditation

I will be continuing this series very soon…

Well, that is it for the “Best of So Far…” series and new posts will start again next week.

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Slow Blogging

Slow gets everywhere!

Whilst surfing the net the other night and doing a spot of research on blogging and the Slow movement, I came across this article:

http://www.blogherald.com/2008/03/17/are-you-a-fast-blogger-or-a-slow-blogger/

Blogging traditionally is a “fast” activity. People demand constant and fresh, regular, relevant updates and bloggers often rush to be the first to break or comment on some news or event.

But slow blogging rejects this ethos, Todd Sieling on his slow blog (http://toddsieling.com/slowblog/) proposes the following manifesto:

Slow Blogging is a rejection of immediacy. It is an affirmation that not all things worth reading are written quickly, and that many thoughts are best served after being fully baked and worded in an even temperament.

A bit more digging and I came across this piece in the New York Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/23/fashion/23slowblog.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1244549158-bRwn+Up3i5HP+Vl/5iLtfw

Now, I am not saying that (ironically) I am a bit slow, here, but notice that Slow Blogging was first mentioned in 2006 and the news stories I have highlighted were from last year!

So, taking Tod’s lead, I am working on my Slow Blog Manifesto and will post it up here when it is done. Any thoughts on what is should include? What is an “ideal” slow blog and slow blog entry?

Let me know your thoughts

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Celebrating Saint Monday

(this is a re-post from my previous blog at deckchairdiaries.wordpress.com, but since I have moved blogs a few times since then and a lot of you are new readers, and this is the first time I have mentioned it on this new slow blog, I thought it would be easier to repost it here than keep linking back to it – I hope Google isn’t too upset with the repeated content…)

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Saint Monday is the tradition of absenteeism on a Monday (Saint Tuesday is the less common extension of this to a Tuesday)

The tradition of taking Monday (unofficially) off has been common among craft workers since at least the seventeenth century. The prime supporters of Saint Monday were often the higher skilled and therefore better paid. High piece-rates could provide good wages for skilled men, but they more often elected to take a moderate wage and extensive leisure.

Saint Monday is often ascribed to the regimentation of working class life which occurred with industrialisation (before then people could pick and choose their own working hours) around the end of the seventeenth century, it waned to nothing during by the mid nineteenth century. Payday was typically Saturday, and therefore workers often had spare money on Monday and didn’t need to work, choosing more leisure time over higher incomes. Business owners in some industries had become accustomed to workers not arriving on Monday, and were willing to tolerate it, even putting on provisions for entertainment including rail journeys, plays and games such as cricket.

I am very great believer (and have been for years, even before I got into all this slow stuff) that in these days of the modern technology we have, it could finally live up to the promise of it being “a labour saving devise” and free us from some of our work, meaning a 4 day working week is totally possible! OK, it only gives you one extra day a week, but 1 day is better than nothing.

So, go celebrate St Monday, skive, promote the 4-day work week!

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For more detail on Saint Monday read:

  • Tom Hodgkinson, “In defence of skiving”, New Statesman, 30 August 2004 (also Tom’s books, including “How to be Idle” and “The Idlers Diary 2009”)
  • Douglas A. Reid, “The Decline of Saint Monday”, in: Essays in Social History: Volume 2

The Tricky Thing…

I have been involved in the “self help” (I hate that term!) field for about 10 years. I got my first website in 2001, it wasn’t very good and I paid a fortune for it (as you did in those days), www.personalchange.co.uk in its 1st incarnation (it doesn’t exist any more!). One of my aims of that site was to try and connect personally with everyone that visited, there were so many sites out there that are bland, or dull or just a hard sell, telling you same things over and over again. I got the idea from Robert Anton Wilson’s site (who, before his death, used to post a monthly “thought”) and the Barefoot Doctors site (who does a daily “Doc Box”), if you haven’t visited their sites, I highly recommend that you do. Blogs were around back then, but very few people had actually heard of them (only really techie people and netites.. So I set up a Daily(ish) NLP Tip on my homepage with my rudimentary knowledge of html, and updated it as often as I could, giving out tips, ideas and general musings.

I did this for about 3 years but started to find it a real hassle updating the site each day, blogs were becoming more and more popular, so eventually to solve the technical issues, I set up my first blog in 2005, it was just as blogs were starting to seep into the public consciousness. So I have been doing a “daily blog” for about 8 years.

The tricky aspect of getting in the habit of pouring out the secrets of existence every day, with the intent to help as much as possible by promoting the advantages of Slowing Down, and through that gradually developing a bit of a way with words and that combination leading to occasional spurts of eloquence and spot-on-ness that take even me by surprise, when they come as they do out of the blue and then continue beguilingly for a few days or so, is trying to decide what to say. Do I just ramble about what I am up to, what I am thinking and interweave that with an odd slow tip, or do I do a cold and hard “technique” driven blog, with just a tip or a quote each day? What is the level of the people who read this, are they people who are totally new to the Slow Philosophy and trying to figure out what it is all about, or are they already well versed in the art and are looking for little extra hints and tips to improve? So, where do I pitch it? Beginner, or advanced? I hope I get the balance.

I’m only human and sometimes events conspire to denude me of the requisite time and space to apply myself, for believe me, to turn in a decent entry, I really do have to apply myself fully, (not actually being a genius) so there are inevitably times when what I’m writing, while well-meaning and definitely comprising at least one small nugget of something useful, is actually, from an artistic integrity point of view, just a load of old bollocks.

Hopefully this crisis of confidence will be gone soon and normal service will return tomorrow.

Matt

De-clutter your mind to give you space to slow down. Part 3: Lets Get Creative!

Right then. You have your goals, your categories of things you want or need to get done and you have your why, you have abandoned the “shoulds” for now.

So, lets get creative about how are going to achieve those goals. Abandon the capture list you wrote at the start of this process as we are now going to generate better process (obviously there may be things on there like paying the bills, those are essentials – but we will come back to them).

You see, there are probably much better ways to get to where you want to go other than the things you think you should be doing to get there. These thoughts are just results of old habits that we are now going to get rid of.

Sound good?

So, you need to now start thinking of ways that are “slower”, less stressful and more fun. Because it is all about the journey really. Imagine having a goal you are heading towards, slogging you guts out to get to it, hating every minute of it and getting hit by a bus just before you achieve it (I have talked about this a lot on previous posts).

The key questions you need to ask are these:

1. How will I know when it is done? Seems an obvious answer, but is it really?  How do you know? We all need to know where we are going. Think about it for a minute.

2. What ABSOLUTELY has to be there to get this done? Strip away the unnecessary tasks the irrelevant ideas and break it down the most basic needs and requirements.

And finally (and most importantly if you ask me)

3. What is the most fun way? Life is a journey, enjoy it! It may not be the fastest way or the most obvious way or the cheapest way, but it is the most fun way. Which means you will remain motivated and ironically probably do it quicker as you are enjoying thr process so much!

Want to Slow Down But Don’t Know Where to Start? Maybe one to one slow coaching is the answer for you? See the coaching page for details, I have worked with people from all over the world via Skype and telephone, we can arrange a time to suite you. Get in touch to find out more. Call +44 7711 204013 or email me.

Matt

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