Tortoise Knows Best

The Deck Chair Diaries Part 6

Written by Matt Caulfield on July 12, 2011

I have been uncharacteristically busy for an Idler.

I jest of course, I have been very busy running NLP training courses for the last six months. I don’t see it as “work” as I enjoy doing it. It is true however, that the NLP field has changed a lot in the last few years (some good, some bad) and I have been making changes to reflect this.

But now I have come to July, which, training wise, is traditionally my quiet time, but as fate would have it I have been struck down with the dreaded lergy. I have had a cold now for nearly two weeks. I haven’t been this ill for years. It began as a nice excuse to lie on the sofa watching Kung Fu movies (if I cannot practice Tai Chi, I will watch other people doing it), but now is just becoming frustrating.

In fact, through the fug of this cold and the constantly changing weather (boiling hot and sunny one day, raining heavily and freezing cold the next) I have no sense of time or place. Sure I can look at the calendar, I KNOW today is the 12th July, but I have no idea of what that means! It could be the depths of winter, spring, summer or autumn, I have no clue! It is oddly disorientating and a bit scary. It is midsummer and I am still looking out of the kitchen window at the mess of the garden thinking that I must do something about cleaning it up “before summer comes”.

All of which seems far too much like hard work (which is silly, our garden is tiny and it would only be a couple of hours work – and pottering should be one of life’s joys), which shows the level of lethargy and exhaustion I have managed to achieve…

On cheerier news, I recently travelled to Istanbul for a nice little break. The place was amazing, but…

…we wangled an upgrade to business class, so the majority of other travellers in the lounge and on the plane were business travellers. I just couldn’t get over how none of these people seemed to appreciate what they had. They were all so serious and rude and impolite and buried in their work. They are given all these extra little luxuries and they just took them for granted (or were so preoccupied or frazzled that they didn’t even notice). I like a bit of luxury, I appreciate every second of it, yet these suits just didn’t even notice, it was utterly wasted on them. I can see how these people (and movie stars and pop stars, etc) can become so obnoxious, when they start to think this is “normal” and stop appreciating it and being grateful for it. They should all be forced to work on the checkout in Tesco and live in a one-bedroom flat for at least one month a year. That would make them appreciate it…

I will be back once I have fought of this evil germs, continuing my musings on compassion.

Matt

Categories: The Journey - Tags: colds, deck chair, istanbul, luxury, NLP

The Deck Chair Diaries Part 2

Written by Matt Caulfield on August 12, 2010

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

It has been a while hasn’t it?

I am all of a muddle, having had a busy month or so and have been neglecting all my online duties.

Back in the middle of June (the 16th to be exact), my main website, mattcaulfield.com where I promote all my courses, products and coaching keeled over, catastrophically. So catastrophically in fact that I lost my website and had to create a brand new one from scratch. With zero budget.

So, I spent 3 weeks teaching myself WordPress so that I could build the new site and now I have total control over it (huge learning curve, but deeply rewarding).

Because of the rush, I have to be honest, I am still not sure where I am going with it, and some of the site is just a facsimile of the old one (I just cut and pasted the content).

The idea of the new site (as you can hopefully see by the clean design) was to simplify everything, to combine everything that I do into one site and present it all in a clean and fresh (and easy to understand) way.

I have combined my NLP based blog with my “Business Advice” blog (for budding therapists and coaches) and was intending to combine this blog into there as well. But I am not sure. I would love to hear feedback from you, dear readers, to see what you think. At the moment I am leaning towards keeping it separate.

Unfortunately, with the site being “OK for now” I have had to leave it and had other things to do.

I taught my first “Psykologika Esoterika” training a couple of weeks ago, this is where I teach people to be a “mentalist” like Derren Brown or Patrick Jane. You can read a training report here with some pictures and clips of how the delegates got on.

Then I headed straight into an NLP Practitioner training.

As you can see “work” has taken up much of my time since I last wrote. I put “work” in inverted comma’s as it isn’t really work and I am very grateful that I can make a living doing what I love. It is not essential to living a “slow” life to be “self employed” (for want of a better word) and many “slow” people have proper jobs (it is about doing what you love after all, and if what you love involved working for someone else, go for it). However for me Slow is about freedom and to have true freedom you have to escape the 9-5 humdrum.

Speaking of escape, I have recently submitted an article to the New Escapologist magazine, it will appear in issue 4 which is out on the 16th of August. Whilst planning this I have had the pleasure of conversing with Rob Wringham, the founder and editor. He is an incredibly likable, intelligent and motivated (if that is the right word) person with wisdom beyond his years. I am glad to have had the opportunity to get to know him personally. I highly recommend you check out the magazine at www.newescapologist.co.uk

In my last diary entry I talked about staring out of the window a lot. Well staring has turned to action and, in between trainings, I have managed to finish off the garden and now have an outside idyll to relax in.

If we ever have the weather.

It has turned distinctly autumnal here (I am sat writing this wearing 2 jumpers) and I keep needing to remind myself that it is only the start of August and still the middle of summer.

So it is back to staring out of the window…

Which is a shame, I am feeling that summer is slipping by unnoticed for me. And (as I said in my last entry) one of my basic tenants in helping you slow down is to get out amongst nature, not only will the fresh air do you good, but engaging with nature and noticing the signs of the passing of the seasons will help you engage and connect with time again.

Since I last wrote I have finished reading Tom Hodgkinson’s excellent “How To Be Free” and (re)read “Nineteen Eighty-Four” by George Orwell (Orwell is one on of my favourite authors of all time), it is one of my favourite books, but I probably hadn’t read it for about 15 years and I had forgotten just how profound it was, every page makes some cutting comment or observation about our Society and the way it is heading. I urge you to read it, if you haven’t already.

I am also reading “Chi Kung: Way of Power” by Master Man Kam Chuen, as it was recommended to me as one of the best treatise on Chi Kung. It is. I need it at the moment, after the last months hectic activities my energy is flagging and I need a bit of a boost. Chi Kung really is an amazing form of gentle yet extremely powerful exercise and Tai Chi is the worlds laziest martial art, gentle, simple, yet extremely powerful after just a little practice. If you are looking for a gentle way to boost your vitality (and defend yourself in a non-violent and non-aggressive way) I really do urge you to give it a go.

I must also get back to meditating. Meditating makes you cool (I need to do more obviously). I notice when I don’t sit for some time I become scattered and anxious. I am currently working on some simple guided mediation mp3 downloads which will be available very soon, in the mean time why not pop over to the “free stuff” page and get a guided relaxation primer and some other goodies?

Be back soon
Matt

Categories: Uncategorized - Tags: chi kung, derren brown, new escapologist, NLP, patrick jane, slow movement, tai chi

Getting Rid of Want 2: Apathy

Written by Matt Caulfield on July 29, 2009

Following on from yesterday, when I talked about developing your gratitude of what you already have to reduce the craving and want for the new and shiny.

The next technique was something I have worked on and developed and uses an NLP principle known as “anchoring” (but don’t worry, I am not going to go into the details, you don’t need to know to be able to do the technique).

The way it works is to create an association to the thing you are craving using past experience. Here we go:

1) Think of something that you really, really, really, really wanted at the time, maybe it was a piece of clothing, a book, a DVD, a piece of technology (phone, etc) that, after a very short amount of time you just abandoned to gather dust on a shelf or in the wardrobe (we all have lots of those!). Think about that feeling of disinterest and apathy towards that thing that you really wanted.

2) When you feel REALLY apathetic and disinterested (say 7-8 out of 10!), gently squeeze your index finger and thumb together (on whichever hand you feel most comfortable) for a few seconds.

3) Relax, take a few seconds then squeeze your fingers together and see if that feeling of apathy towards the thing you bought. If it doesn’t bring it back as intensively as before, then repeat step 2 a few times until it does.

4) Next time you get a craving or a feeling of want for something just squeeze your finger and thumb to get that feeling of apathy back and associate it with your current craving.

This is a very simple and quick technique to undo cravings and feelings of want. It works much better than trying to rationalise or talk yourself out of the purchase for logical reasons (which often just makes you want it more – what you focus on your get remember?!)

Give it a go next time you are craving and see how you get on.