As I watch people push and shove and rush around not getting anywhere, the thing I always think is that if everyone were just a little more compassionate, mindful and polite to each other and actually embraced the spirit of this time of year, everyone would actually get everything done much more quickly and with less stress. It is our selfish desire to get everything done quickly that stops us from actually getting it done quickly.

Slow down, go faster.

See you in 2012.

At times like this I have developed a “one minute meditation” (although, in reality it can be anything from 10 seconds to five minutes or more depending on time available and your needs), to ground myself back in the present moment and stop being swept away by it.

It is the psychic equivalent of “switching it off and switching back on again” that you do with your PC when it gets all clogged up and grinds to a halt or develops glitches.

Here it is in simple steps for you to follow if you find yourself being swept away:

(Read through it and practice it a few times when you have some time to focus and concentrate on it, before you do it out in the “real world”)

1. Stand or sit up straight, imagine a thread running from the crown of your head, holding you up like a marionette.

2. Scan your body for any areas of tension, and consciously relax them, if you want wiggle and shake out the areas, shrug your shoulders, etc. Pay particularly attention to your jaw and shoulders. This is where we tend to hold most tension.

3. If standing, soften your knees, so they are not locked. If sat in a chair, move forward so your back is not supported. Roll your hips forward slightly so that you have a slight, natural arch in your lower back.

4. Move your focus of attention to your centre (approximately your belly button), and sink into your hips. Rock your hips back and forth if you need to balance them.

5. Move the place you are watching the world from to the centre of your brain, away from your forebrain where all the chatter goes on. Look through your eyes as if you are looking out of windows.

6. Take a full breath, imagining you are breathing in and out through your centre. As you breath out make the effort to breath out any lingering tension in your body.

7. If appropriate and useful, as you breath in focus on a word or image that illustrates, to you, the mental and emotional state you want to be in at this moment in time. It could be simply “Grace”, or “Calm”, or a more vivid and complex image.

Warning: This can be quite a powerful process if you do it right and it is not uncommon for people to feel a little “odd” and dizzy when they get it right, so I suggest, for the first few times at least, that you are sitting down.

If it is a hassle, you won’t stick to it.

So here are a few simple ways that you can slow down in a day. You don’t need to do all of them at once (if you do, there is a good chance you will be overwhelmed and that is not the result we are after here).

When you very first wake up, take a few moments to become aware of your breathing, and aware of your body, run  a check to see any areas of tension and consciously relax them.

Then spend a few moment thinking of things you are grateful for, that you already have in your life.

Then think of what you want to achieve today and how you would like the day to go and how you would like to be.

(I would like to state, for the record, that I am certainly not a morning person and although I tend to wake early, I am usually grumpy and disorientated for some time, by doing the above 3 processes I find I get out of that fug much more quickly).

When washing and showering, be mindful of the water, of the sensations, the smells, etc, of the process you are doing.

When eating breakfast (and all meals today), sit down, don’t gobble it down whilst trying to pack you bag for work/school/college/etc. Take smaller bites, chew much more than you think you should and be mindful of the tastes, textures and sensations (as well as emotions and thoughts – but don’t get hung up on them) you have.

When commuting to work, run a commentary in your head of what you can see, hear, feel, smell and taste. Be polite to fellow commuters, let a car out of a side road, offer your seat to someone, hold the door open.

Be polite and well mannered, say “please” and “thank you”, take the time to connect with people and show a genuine interest in them.

If you can, go for a stroll, not to get somewhere, just for the sake of it. Look around and run the commentary in your head. See what you notice and how it makes you feel.

Do this 10 second relaxer whenever you find your mind has wandered or that you are getting flustered or frustrated:

• Step back (either physically or mentally) from what you are doing.
• Be in your body and focus on your centre (roughly your belly button).
• Check your posture, stand or sit up straight.
• Take a deep breath in (imagine your are breathing in through your belly button).
• Breathe out and focus on relaxing on any tension in your muscles.
• Mentally state the outcome that you want.
• Repeat as necessary.
• Carry on.

As a final note, some days are just rubbish and no matter what you do things seem to go against you. If that is the case, don’t fight it, just let go, walk away (either physically or metaphorically) and start again tomorrow.

Hare-brained people hide behind terms like “assertiveness” or “honesty” or “just telling it how it is”, when they are simply being rude, judgemental and self centred. They mock people who try be nice, who think the best of people, calling them “drips” or “saps”, they think acts of compassion are acts of “weakness”.

They are wrong.

Compassion, simply, is recognising that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have available to them. No matter how seemingly stupid, rude or just plain wrong those actions appear.

Compassion isn’t about going round hugging everyone, agreeing with everyone or being an utter pushover. It isn’t about naively trusting people or not thinking things through and assessing situations critically.

Nor is about accepting or condoning bad, or illegal behaviour, of course you can (and should) condemn  atrocious acts.

You can also be utterly antisocial and still be compassionate.

It is about recognising we are all interconnected and our actions have ramifications we may never be aware of. It is about seeing ourselves in other people, about understanding that we are more similar than we are different. We have all made stupid choices and rash decisions and snap judgments.

Above all it is about forgiveness.

Compassion is a key tenant of the tortoise mind. Compassion comes from and helps you be slower and more mindful, better mannered, more patient and understanding. Offer to help, say “please” and “thank you”, don’t be quick to judge or snap at someone doing something you think is wrong, take a genuine interest in someones life. These are all acts of compassion.

Anger at other people is the anger with your self projected outwards. If you were at peace with yourself, accept yourself fully and completely, warts and all you would act more compassionately naturally.

Think about how different you have acted when you have been in a good mood rather than a bad mood. What was the difference in your tolerance and understanding?

This is why practicing compassion always starts with being compassionate to yourself. If you cannot be compassionate to yourself, how can you be compassionate to people around you? See yourself as someone who truly loves and accepts you. Can’t think of anyone? Imagine someone!

Like all things, compassion is it’s own reward, by being more compassionate and tolerant you will be less stressed, angry and worked up, you will feel calmer and who know how you will affect the world around you?

Do a random act of compassion today, even it is as little as saying an earnest “thank you” to someone or giving your loose change to charity…

Matt

Be grateful – the happier you are with your life the less likely you will be to be a moaning bitch!

Practice your manners.

If you find yourself moaning and complaining – Stop! Take a deep breath and focus on something good.

If that doesn’t work, give yourself exactly 1 minute and 37 seconds to get it out of your system, on the understanding that as soon as that time is up you will go and do something more useful. Time it and stick to it!

Give everyone you meet today  a compliment.

Compliment your kids/husband/wife/better half AT LEAST 10 times each day…

Reflect on what you say before you say, don’t rush to comment.

If you are mean about someone in your head (shout at an inconsiderate driver for example), send them good wishes immediately afterwards.

Become genuinely interested in people. Everyone is unique and fascinating, learn about them and express that interest and fascination…

A lot of people ask me what I get up to on a day to day basis, so I thought I would give you a timetable of my “ideal idle day”. I admit, things don’t always work out this well, but I try and use for this template. You may be surprised by how many hours “work” I actually do. This is partially because the current times require it and partially because I enjoy it! (as Confucius once said “Choose a job you love and you will have to work again”). I am always looking at reducing the amount of hours I work, ideally I would like to work like mad before lunch and take a more leisurely approach to the afternoons, but I don’t ever seem to have got this sorted and still tend to work longer hours than I would really like.

I wake up early nowadays, around 6 o’clock, I was never very good at getting up early and for most of my teens and twenties I would lie in for as long as possible and drag myself out of bed, under umbrage, at the very last minute. As I have gotten older, I have found it easier (and more enjoyable) to wake up early.

I have cup of tea and then walk the dogs. I use the walk as a time to be mindful and contemplate the day ahead.

After breakfast I will check my emails and write a short list of my three most important tasks (MIT’s), and any important chores and emails I need to do that day (I used to scrawl these on reams of A4 paper, but now I use the beautiful and brilliant moleskine notebooks – which also has an iphone app for when I can’t get to my notebook!) . Then I will meditate for 25 minutes or so. I know many meditation guides will tell you to sit when you very first wake up, but I am not very good first thing in the morning, my mind is often spinning and having two energetic dogs, once I am awake they are pestering to go out. Not the best atmosphere to sit in! I find once I have walked, had breakfast and and sorted out my day, then I can sit undisturbed and get the best out of my practice.

I will do an hour or so of work. I work very intuitively. I know many productivity guides tell you to work on your Most Important Tasks first. That doesn’t really suit me and I will do what seems most appropriate at the time, whether that is clearing my emails, writing some stuff or doing some admin. If I have to pop out I will normally do this now and  get it out of the way.

Around mid morning I will usually do some exercise, whether that is some bodyweight work, a run, Tai Chi or Yoga etc. I don’t really have a work out plan and again work intuitively about what I am in the mood to do. I keep detailed records, so I know how I am getting on and will check back before I start, which will often help me decide what to do. I enjoy exercise, I use it as a form of mindfulness or contemplation and find that, in the longer term, it give me more energy and makes me feel more alive.

Then it is snack time before I return to work until lunch. In the afternoon, depending on how I have gotten on, I will maybe read, research or sort notes for longer term projects or do some chores around the house. Around mid afternoon I walk the dogs again, then it is downhill until the end of the “working” day…

After spending years working every hour of the day and weekend, I make the effort to finish work no later than 5 o’clock. I usually wrap up before then and then sit again for 25 minutes. I do a variety of different meditations from a variety of different styles, but most often than not I will do a simple mindfulness exercise, counting my breaths (for more details see my eGuide to meditation here).

Days don’t always pan out this way!  Things will often crop up that interrupt this timetable and some days my day won’t resemble this at all. When I am away training, or I have clients, or teaching Tai Chi I usually just make things up as I go along, squeezing in meditation, exercise and reading where I can. I find, although a timetable works very well for me when I am at home with nothing booked in, when I am away working, I have to just be intuitive and do what I can when the opportunity arises.

Matt

This blog is just over two years old, so I thought for my first post of 2011 I would write a brief(ish) “story so far”, hopefully this will act as a catch up for new readers and review for older ones. And as a way of focusing myself for 2011…

I first came across the Slow Movement in late 2007. In early 2008 I had the idea of taking the fundamental philosophy of the Slow Movement (as I understood it – the great thing I love about the Slow Movement is that not organised and controlled by a singular organisation and is propelled by individuals. Which means it is different from person to person) and combine it with the tools, techniques and strategies I had learned from 8 years experience (at the time) of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), hypnosis, coaching, meditation and other bits and bobs of psychology and productivity (through work I had done with businesses and lecturing on Aston Business School’s MBA course) to generate ways to help people Slow down, become more mindful and productive and reconnect with their lives.

At this point I had been running my own coaching and training business since 2000, it had grown from strength to strength, but I wasn’t happy, I was stressed and I didn’t know why. I had started to be turned off by the whole “self help” field and was finding it horribly insincere and impatient. I was getting more and more clients expecting and demanding instant fixes to problems , these expectations were being fed by the vacant marketing of snake oil salesmen who seemed to be filling up the field. I was trying to do too much, to please everyone, which ironically meant I wasn’t getting anything finished, or anything finished to a decent standard at least. I needed to strip back what I was doing, simplify and get back to basics (and what I loved doing).

The irony was I hadn’t always been this fast and stressed, I had be seduced by the idea that “faster is better” and impatience was a virtue without really realising it. Before getting involved in NLP, coaching and training I had been practicing Buddhist meditation, Tai Chi and Yoga (very Slow pastimes!).

It took an accident to show me the way! I ordered “In Praise of Slow” from Amazon by mistake… This introduced me to a different way of thinking and living. It came as revelation that I didn’t need to be seduced by speed, that there is another (better) way!

I started this blog as a way of recording my exploration into the Slow Movement and associated fields. It didn’t land fully formed and has been a rather organic, and at times chaotic process, following my fascination and seeing where that took me. Which means it has meandered and wandered and often lacked focus.

My Slow Philosophy

The first thing I did ((after researching The Slow Movement and related fields intensely for around 6 months) was distil my  “Slow Philosophy”. This was my starting point.

The term “slow” is shorthand for:

A Philosophy

Recognising that time is precious, but rushing to try and fit more in is not the answer. That taking the time and effort to appreciate what is now will be much more fulfilling than filling your days and doing this just to get somewhere in the future.

That leads to…

A State of Mind/Attitude

Embodied by being centred, relaxed, unhurried, unrushed, unflustered and acting spontaneously in the right way (at the right pace) in a given situation.

That becomes a…

Lifestyle

This manifests itself as different ways for different people, depending on their interests and experiences, but shared values are: Finding the right pace to do things,  appreciating the present moment, community and co-operation (rather than competition),  manners and making meaning connections with people.

It is inspired by and embodies the spirit of the tale of the Hare and the Tortoise – “Slow and steady wins the race…”

And develops…

Practical Applications

In all areas of life: business, arts, education, sports, transport, anywhere!

Slow is NOT…

“Slow is not about doing everything at a snail’s pace; it’s about working, playing and living better by doing everything at the right speed.”
-    Carl Honore

About being slothful, lazy or ignorant. In fact just the opposite, it is about being mindful, aware and intelligent in your actions.

Then I started thinking of what this actually meant:

Slow Down From the Inside Out

Very quickly I realised that, to me, the Slow Movement, and slowing down came from the inside out.

The key thing to me was to change the way we think.

Most Slow Movements seem to me to be outfacing and external in nature: slow food, slow travel, slow cities, etc and no one was considering the fact that, before we could change the way we live, we need to change the way we think.

It has always been a key philosophy of mine and something that has underpinned my work since I started out in the field was that, before we can even attempt to make changes to our own external world we need to change our internal one (our thoughts and emotions).

So many people get this the wrong way round and wonder why they cannot get the life they crave. They try and make changes to their external world hoping these actions will change their thought processes and emotions.

I started using the phrase “tortoise mind” to describe the mindset I wanted to develop, in comparison to  “hare-brained” which seems to be how most people think and act.

The Archetypal Idler (for me)

Once I had that (and that came to me quite late on this process), I started to focus on how develop it.

I used the term idler as a short hand label (probably because I was first re-introduced to this Philosophy by Tom Hodgkinson’s excellent Idler periodical) for someone who had embraced the Slow philosophy and developed their tortoise mind.

Being idle, to me, wasn’t about being lazy, stupid or slothful, it was about being efficient, unflustered and unhurried, in the way an engine is being most efficient on or just above it’s idling rev range. The term idle has become something rather pejorative and negative, yet great minds, from Diognese and the Cynics, to Seneca and the stoics, the Buddha, the Romantics, and people like Theroux, Jerome K Jerome, Bertrand Russell and Will Self (to name but a few, I could write much, much more – for a more detailed history of the Slow, why not grab my “Welcome to the Slow Life” audio book here) have spoken of the virtues of idleness.

So, after a bit of experimentation, I realised that I needed to develop something to aim for, the archetypal idler, and then work towards achieving that.

Of course, this archetype is different for everyone and people interpret the Slow Philosophy in different ways and to different degrees (that’s what I like about it, it is an art, everyone is different), so you need to develop your own vision to how you want to be.

For me it was an image of a person in an airport, you can read the details here.

The Four Keys to the Tortoise Mind

What attributes does the Idler have?

I defined what I considered the 4 keys to the tortoise mind (it was, until recently, the 3 keys, but I have changed it!), which are:

1. Mindfulness
The past has gone and the future, well, you can’t hang your hopes on it… There is only now. Pay attention! So many of us spend our time day dreaming about thee future or remembering the past, so few of us spend time in the present moment.

2. Gratitude
Gratitude is the opposite of greed. Our consumer society wants us to keep buying more and more things to collect clutter to replace what we have as soon as we are bored of it. It is designed to make us acutely aware of what we haven’t got so we will crave it. This grasping and craving means we will never really be happy, as soon as we have that one thing we thought would complete us we grow used to it and want something new. Be grateful for what you have. Make a list each.

3. Compassion
Compassion isn’t very trendy any more in this Hare Brained world and we are all out to get what we can for ourselves. Being hare brained is self centred and solipsistic. Being Tortoise Minded is about connecting with the people around us, being polite, thoughtful and well mannered. We are all together on this lunatic asylum of a planet and everyone is just trying to do the best they can with the choices and information they have at the time. Remember that.

4. Relaxation (of body and mind)
Phil Hine describes confidence as “being relaxed in the present moment”. By relaxing our body we relax our minds. We can think more clearly and positively, we can also reduce stress and toxins in our body and feel more energised and focused.

These 4 keys have no hierarchy, they are equally as important as each other. Think of them as threads that need to weave themselves through you psyche to hold it all together.

Of course we can add things to this list like simplicity or organisation, but these are secondary traits that will come naturally once you embrace the 4 keys.

What About the Future?

So, what does the future hold? Well, I will continue to refine what it is I am doing and explore and develop new ideas and strategies. I fancy spending some time looking at how we can implement these Slow strategies into the workplace and how by embracing the Slow Philosophy we can actually become more productive and successful, but with less stress and waste (as William Morris puts it “useful work rather than useless toil”). Some of the ideas I have are rather grand, others very simple and down to earth.

Work wise (I have never made any excuses about the fact I am make my living through this site!) I want to increase the number of clients that I have, and start to drip feed out quality information products to help people, including guided mediations, a (long overdue) eCourse, and a book (a proper book, not an ebook, I like proper books). I have taken my time as I wanted to be clear about what it was I am actually doing before I released anything. I am still doing coaching and training in NLP, and have some new exciting things going on over there too, but here is not the place to discuss my plans with that (although they do dovetail).

And I fancy a facelift of this site too. Not that I don’t love the job that Eric did when he set it up for me, but that was a year and half ago and a nice redecoration is probably due. But that will have to wait a little while yet.

Right then here is to a Slow and Successful 2011, I hope you stick around for the journey!

Matt

Basically I was a mess.

And what was worse, much worse, than all of this was when I realised what I was doing I started to beat myself up about getting flustered and stressed. I treated myself rather badly and shouted at myself on several occasions, telling myself to “pull myself together MAN!”

Which didn’t help at all. In fact it made the whole thing worse.

In Taoism, particularly the Taoist martial arts such as Tai Chi, they talk about interacting with things with just 4 ounces of pressure. This, of course, is not a literal measure of pressure required, (there is no need to carry a hygrometer around with you!),it is a metaphorical idea of only using the bare minimum of effort, to be gentle.

It ties in with the principle of Wu Wei, which translates rather paradoxically as the “action of non-action”. It can be described as “going with the flow”, but it is much more than that. It is about acting intelligently and in harmony with the surrounding environment (and with yourself). It is about recognising when and how to act and when to just wait or yield to external forces.

Shouting at myself and getting all worked up because I was not being “slow” enough, really didn’t help at all. If you find yourself getting flustered, unmindful and speeding up, don’t beat yourself up, just gently take a step back, relax and guide your mind back to acting how you would like to feel. If you cannot manage to slow yourself down, don’t panic, just go with it, you will soon be back on the path.

To develop your tortoise mind, you need to be gentle in thought, speech and action. Never apply more than the metaphorical “4 ounces” of pressure.

Matt

The idea being, that when we are happy, we tend to smile, however, the feedback loop seems to work both ways and when we smile, just the act of smiling seems make us to feel happy.

The first thing I needed to do was find the right smile, I wanted the half smile of someone who has found peace in themselves, who is happy in the world, that serene half smile of the Buddha. Not a smug self-righteous smirk. Or a gormless grin.

It is actually harder than you think to find the right smile. I spent a considerable amount of time testing out different smiles in the mirror and then still found it would slip and adjust itself to a different kind of smile (often to a vacant grin…) and I would need to “readjust it”.

The idea was not to consciously make any effort to change my thought processes, but to just keep smiling and notice what it did to my state of mind. Obviously the smile was going to slip at times, when I noticed that I would just start to smile again.

The thing I noticed almost straight away was when I smiled I felt more mindful and alert, I noticed things around me I didn’t usually notice and I actually felt energised, which surprised me. I didn’t think smiling would give me more energy, but there you go. On several occasions I was out and about and had totally forgotten to smile, I found myself becoming inpatient, short tempered or flustered. When that happened I stopped and just consciously put the smile back on my face. Immediately I found I became calmer, less stressed and flustered, the tension would literally feel like it was falling away.

The odd thing was, my smile seemed to have an effect on people around me too, they seemed to be more polite and patient or helpful and some would, when catching my attention give me a half smile back before realising what they had just done and look away embarrassed. I wonder if that was just a coincidence?

So give it a go. Just smile. See how it makes you feel (and let me know – please leave a comment below!).

Matt

We often say “I am thinking”, but really it is the other way round; “thinking is doing you”, what I mean by this is that our sense of “self” is a product of our thought processes. There is no fixed self or personality, we recreate our “selves” from moment to moment.

So, if your personality is a product of our thought processes then who or what is doing the thinking? This is called the “our essential nature” in the Zen tradition and often illustrated by the Koan “What did your face look like before your parents were born?”

Siddhartha recognised this and realised that this self-made prison of “self” inhibits us and traps us in repeating unuseful patterns of thought and behaviour over and over.

Mindfulness meditation is the ultimate form of minimalism, not only do you abandon your possessions, you abandon your fixed concept of personality, you become free of the baggage of psychological ticks, hang-ups, contradictions and prejudices that make up “you”.

With the notion (And current trend) of “self development” all you are doing is making your cage more comfortable, you are going the wrong way, self “deconstruction” is the key.

Mindfulness is traditionally a Buddhist meditative process, but has been explored and studied by psychologist since the 1970′s and has been formalised into a number of therapeutic applications that have been shown to work with issues such as stress reduction, anxiety and depression and chronic pain.

Mindfulness is best described by John Kabat-Zinn as “…paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

In the beginning mindfulness meditation is a practice of concentration, with a focus on following or counting the breath. It is essential to build up the required level of concentration.

This concentration and focus on the present moment can be a powerful outcome of it’s own. In the Zen tradition this is called Joriki. You develop a level of mental fortitude and concentration that Zen master Yasutani Hakuun Roshi has referred to as “a dynamic power that enables us even in the most sudden and unexpected situations to act instantly, without pausing to collect our wits, and in a manner wholly appropriate to the circumstances.”

However, mindfulness meditation is much more than just concentrating, it is a powerful tool of self-inquiry, boundless in its scope and ability to reveal the true basis of reality. Through mindfulness we come to realise selflessness and the interconnectivity of all things, which has the potential to transform our lives and those of others.

Meditation: A Simple How to Guide

There are hundreds if not thousands of different types of mediation, from guided mediation (which are closer to self hypnosis) to Transcendental Mediation(tm), to the hardcore hyper-speed psychotherapy for the soul of the Zen tradition. Some of these methods require the guidance of a teacher (and therefore are open to abuse and cult like tendencies, so do be careful if this is your bag).

However, the purest form of meditation is the practice of mindfulness and can be practiced by anyone (although, it is often recognised that a teacher can be useful) at any time. Here is a basic introduction:

Posture

Correct posture is essential to proper meditative practice. It is almost impossible to meditate if you are slouched, or even lying down. It can take some time to become flexible, strong and comfortable enough to sit for long periods of time, so it is a good idea to practice physical exercises to improve strength and flexibility outside of your meditative practice.

The key to correct posture is to have an elongated, unsupported spine and a strong base. There is no need to be able to sit in full lotus, although this a noble aim. Full lotus (or half lotus if you cannot manage full lotus – I sit in half lotus as do most practitioners I know), has been traditionally the meditative position to be in as it allow the body to be held completely steady for long periods of time by giving you a good solid, stable base using your bum, thighs and knees.

With a bit of practice you will be surprised how quickly you can sit comfortably in a good posture (although full lotus may take a few years to achieve!).

To begin with maybe you can only manage to sit in a chair (keep your back straight and unsupported, unless you need to), that is fine, don’t force yourself into an uncomfortable position, you won’t get as much out of your practice and maybe even injure yourself.  You can buy an inexpensive kneeling stool to help you sit in a kneeling position, I have used one for years and it is preferred if you can to sitting on a chair.

Stretch and practice the postures outside of your meditating and then start to incorporate it when you feel ready. Even if you, say, sit in half lotus for five minutes and then complete the rest of the meditation time on a chair.

For an excellent and detailed description of postures and recommended exercises to help improve them you cannot go fair wrong with Robert Aitken’s “Taking the Path of Zen“.

You can close your eyes, but this often promotes a lot more mental activity and it is easier to get distracted or drop off. So it is best to keep your eyes half open and defocus looking at the ground about 4 feet away.

Put your hands palm up in your lap and just gently rest one palm on top of the other and gently put the tips of your thumbs together.

Timing

You can use a stopwatch, glance a clock, or you can download a fancy app for your smart phone (I use the SotoTimer app for my iPhone, it is free and I find it does everything I need very well). Or you can use counting beads (mala), I like counting beads and find them useful tool when I cannot use a clock or timer, I wear my beads around my wrist or neck and find them a positive trigger and reminder to remain mindful (see “Everything is Mediation” below).

Start with a very short period of time, say five minutes and slowly build up by adding a minute a week until you reach 20 – 25 minutes. If you dive straight in with a 25-minute session you will find you get twitchy and distracted and give in very easily, it is better to do a short period time, even if you want to go further. This builds up momentum.

When to do it

It is often recommended to meditate twice a day; first thing in the morning, right after you wake up, and at the end of the day just before you go to bed.

For some people this just isn’t feasible and for others it isn’t the best time. I find it takes me a long time to get going in the morning and with the best will in the world I just don’t get as much out of meditating at that time. So I often sit mid-morning (admittedly I can, I work from home most of the time) after breakfast and few morning chores, I find I can then concentrate and focus better. I don’t often meditate in the evening unless I am sitting with a group.

Find your own rhythm and what works for you, it is most important to find a time that suits you and build up a regular practice (see “ritualising your practice” below). Experiment, we are all different.

Where to do it

You can meditate anywhere, but it helps to develop an area in your home where you go to meditate. This helps put you in the mood and act as a trigger, that when you are there that is what you do, it can be a room, or just a corner or a part of a room, you may want to make a little “shrine” with some flowers a candle, some incense (smell is a very powerful mood trigger and I find the smell of a particular incense always focuses me on meditation), a statue of the Buddha or some other religious artefacts if you have your own personal beliefs.

Buddhism recognises the power of ritual and by ritualising your practice, by doing it an specific time in a specific place, you will find you will build the habit much more quickly and gain the benefits of a meditative practice in a shorter period of time.

What to actually do!

I have talked a lot about how, where, when and how long to sit for, so now it is time to talk about what you should actually do when you are there.

In fact the “content” of mindfulness practice is the easiest to explain (but the hardest to master…).

To begin with, the first few times you meditate, just sit still, don’t try and focus on anything, just sit there, get used to doing nothing for five minutes or so, get used to the fidgets, the twitches, start to notice your mind racing around trying to fill the time. Once you have done that for a week or so and started getting in to the habit, you want to draw your attention to your breathing, don’t force it or try and change the way you breathe, just relax (by relaxing you will notice your breathing will lengthen, deepen and slow down). To help you focus, we count the breaths, you can count the in-breath, the out-breath, or both, it is up to you, see what works best. Count up to 10 then return to one.

We use or breathing as an area of focus as it is always with us, no matter where we are, or what we are doing, we can draw our attention to our breath.

You will notice that your mind carries on thinking, that’s what your brain does (your heart beats, your lungs breath, you brain thinks), the goal of meditation is not to “stop thinking” but to disengage from your thoughts, to just let them drift by like clouds in the sky. As you meditate more, you will notice that your thinking will slow, things will seem less important, less requiring of your immediate attention.

If you find during your sessions that your mind does wander, or gets caught up in the hustle and bustle of your thoughts, just gently disengage, take a couple of long deep breaths, check your posture and then return to counting your breaths.

It really is that simple. For years I thought, “Is this it? Is this all I should be doing?” I worried that it shouldn’t be that simple (it isn’t easy…), and I would sit in meditation and question myself and hunt around (and try out) different styles of meditation. But the more I hunted the more a I kept returning to the breath counting, to it’s purity and simplicity.

Stick to it, you will soon realise the benefits.

Everything is meditation

“The real meditation practice is life itself. The real meditation teacher is life itself.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Sitting meditation is just a chance to practice mindfulness and build concentration, the real process of mindfulness happens in your day-to-day life. Everything is meditation. Everything you do should be an act of mindfulness. Whether you are working, showering, cleaning your teeth, eating or waiting for the bus, everything should be done with awareness. This can take years of practice to remain fully aware throughout your day, but by making an effort to be fully present for moment through the day, whether that is for just three minutes as your clean your teeth, as well as regular “sitting” practice, you will find that your clarity of thought, concentration and ability to cope with what used to seem like ridiculously difficult situations.

You will become “grounded in the present moment without being swept away by it”.

Now isn’t that cool?

Matt