The Deckchair Diaries Part 1

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Originally inspired by Tom Hodgkinson’s Country Diary and the excellent Orwell Diaries, this blog, when it was over at wordpress.com was entitled the “Deckchair Diaries” and was a more personal journal of my journey on the path to slowing down.

Some readers have requested a bit more of a personal touch on this site, with details of what I have been getting up to in my (mostly) slow lifestyle, to show “slow living” in action. So, I thought I would revive the style of a more personal journal as an occasional entry here on Tortoise Knows Best, sharing with you what I have been up to and how I have been implementing (or at least trying to!) the Slow Philosophy.

I have been doing a lot of staring out of the window recently. I have become a terrible “inside of the window” type of gardener, time, inclination and finances have stopped me getting out there and doing some much needed pottering around. I fancy growing some veg, but once again, left it a bit too late…

(Although I stumbled across this from the brilliant Hugh from River Cottage – the River Cottage cookbook is a must for any idlers bookshelf – and contemplating giving it a go – as a bit of cheat and headstart…)

I love this time of year, but nature moves fast, giving me a feeling that we are rushing towards summer. It is hard to take a step back and take it all in and so easy to get caught up in the torrent.

Every day a new plant seems to bloom, blossom, flower or grow leaves (sometimes all at once), it is too easy to miss something and next thing you know it has done its thing. I see plants and flowers and birds and insects, I notice new sounds and sights and smells. This time of year is really is an orgy for your senses if you switch on and stay mindful. I must learn the name of things.

Nature, being involved with nature and learning to flow with it (it’s changing weather and seasons) really is essential to the slow lifestyle.

I spend as much time as I can watching the clouds go by, trying to make shapes in them. Dali called this the paranoiac-critical method, which was his description of how we make shapes and faces in abstract images such as seeing Jesus face in a piece of toast. For more information on cloud spotting (an excellent idle pursuit), I highly recommend the Cloud Appreciation Society.

Although the time I have to give to Idle pursuits has been somewhat cut down recently. Work wise I seem to be working longer and longer hours, which is no way for an idler to behave!

Luckily I enjoy what I do to make money (and as Confucius said “Choose a job you love and you will have to work again”).

Like many self-employed people, the recession has effected my work. Although I have managed to weather the worst of the financial storm I have been forced (like those self employed people that have also survived) to be creative; developing different ways of doing things and alternative income streams. It is a bit like chucking mud at the wall to see what stick a lot of the time. So far I have had the most success (and fun) with teaching people to be “Psychological Entertainers” in the vein of Derren Brown, Banachek, etc as well as teaching the skills of those fictional characters Patrick Jane in the “Mentalist” and Cal Lightman in “Lie to Me” (although these are fictional characters, their abilities are based on real life skills), if you want to learn more about that, please feel free to visit the website www.psykologika-esoterika.com.

I am being philosophical about the whole thing, this recession has made me be much more aware of my financial situation and I have made the effort to live much more frugality (“just in case”). I am enjoying seeing how little money I can get away with spending and it is very illuminating seeing how much money I frittered away.

And things are looking up…

It has been a few weeks since the election here in the UK and I must admit to being optimistic of the result, we have an unprecedented and revolutionary coalition and I wish them all the best (more cynical – and revolutionary – friends of mine have already written them off, but, since this is the system we have right now, I am hoping for the best. Call me daft and optimistic if you want…).

Forgetting political ideology for a moment, I like David Cameron, he seems very “Slow” to me. I first warmed to him because of this chat that he had with President (or Senator, at the time) Obama, about how to govern, then in the run up to the election and in the Conservative manifesto he spoke about “Big Society“, community is a central tenant of the Slow Manifesto (I think the slow movement is essentially anarchic in its political viewpoint), and then when he became PM, the first thing he did was ban cell phones from cabinet meetings!

My right knee has been playing up which has curtailed my idle exercise routine. My daily Tai Chi and Chi Kung practice has been effected (and I have almost got out of the habit of doing anything) I have had to give up running. It has even started to affect my daily mediation practice, evening kneeling using a stool to support myself it really aches. I have been doing the manly thing and ignoring it, but I have noticed how easy it is to use it as an excuse to just sit on the sofa, and how much more twitchy, distracted and lethargic I have become in such a short space of time. So, I have begun a process of rehabilitation. Hopefully with a bit of rest and recuperation, skilful strapping and painkillers I will be back embracing the tiger and repulsing the monkey (as well as being able to sit without the distracting ache in meditation) very soon.

I am currently re-reading “How to be Free” by Tom Hodgkinson, I have to admit to not finishing it first time round, I got distracted by something else. It is a very interesting discussion of the Medieval lifestyle and how we can reintroduce and emulate that in current times to free ourselves from some of the bonds of modern living.

Anyway, I am off to watch the rain out of the window.

See you again soon,
Matt

The 3 Keys to a Slow and Happy Life

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

One of the reasons I stopped blogging so regularly was because, well, I was running out of things to say.

You see, the Slow life is the simple life is the easy life.

And, so in my quest to become slower, unflustered, uncomplicated and uncluttered, I often found that I was practicing the same things over and over again, getting a bit better each day.

This doesn’t sit too well with the blogging principle, which requires lots of content, regularly.

A lot of blogs I have seen on simple living, minimalism and related topics, are ironically complex (and repetitive) and not really simple or minimal at all! I can only assume that is to try and keep up with the current blogging paradigm of regular content, regardless of quality.

Slow being what it is, if I did a blog every day, or even every week it would soon become repetitive or I would be tempted to over complicate the issue just to give me something to write about.

This is in direct opposition of my personal philosophy of stripping everything, as much as possible, back to its bare bones, by asking the question “what absolutely has to be there?”

Why? Well I am clutter monkey, I tend towards over-complication if I am left to my own devices (I ALWAYS pack to much when I go on holiday!) and it takes a lot of disciple for me to keep things simple (it was one of the reasons I got involved in the Slow movement in the first place).

As Einstein is quoted as having said (whether he actually said it or not I don’t know): “Keep everything as simple as possible, but no simple.”

So in this spirit of simplicity, what are the 3 keys to a slow and happy life?

Well, as I said in my previous post (here), I believe that everything comes from cultivating the slow mindset or “tortoise mind”.

So these 3 keys are the keys to creating your tortoise mind. Once you cultivate them you will find yourself able to more easily embrace the slow life, the minimalist approach and simple living.

1. Mindfulness

This really is the key to slowing down. Life is only happening in the NOW, yet how often do you really pay attention to the present moment? How often are you on autopilot or thinking about what you are doing tonight or tomorrow, or lost in a memory?
How often do you get hung up on things, wave the ride of emotion; panic, fear nervousness?

Learn to embrace the now, to lose your self in the moment, to appreciate the little things:

Really focus on the food your eat and notice the explosion of flavours your often miss, the texture, the sensation, the emotions and memories it conjures up….

When in the shower, focus on the sensation of the water splashing against your skin, the smell of the shower gel…

You get the idea?

2. Gratitude

“Poverty is not the absence of goods but rather the overabundance of desire”

Plato

There is an interesting psychological phenomenon called habitation, which basically means if we see, do, or experience the same thing over and over again, we stop paying attention to it.

This process is what our modern consumer culture relies on. It makes us acutely aware of what we haven’t got and makes subtle changes to “this years model” to keep us wanting the new and exciting versions.

One of the fastest ways to overcome this process is to be consciously grateful for what we have. Every day make a list of at least 10 things you really appreciate in your life, this can be anything from the fact you have a house, to reminding yourself why you bought the car/watch/TV/whatever that your bought (it can be something really simple, basic or seemingly silly, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are grateful for it). Really feel the gratitude. You will find you will become more mindful and crave new things and experiences less and less.

3. Compassion

The final key to a slow and happy life is to be compassionate to our fellow wo/man.

This doesn’t mean being a drip or a push over, it is about recognising that everyone is doing the best with what they have got and making the best decision they can at the time according to the information and criteria they are using (no matter how stupid or annoying, or “wrong” it may seem to you) and that you have done stupid things in your past and will again in the future.

You don’t have to become an over emotional lovey, who runs round hugging everyone one, you just need to forgive people.

It really is that simple, just forgive them.

That will free yourself up of all the stress, anger and rage about things you can do nothing about. Just stop, take a deep breath, say (silently in your own head) “I forgive you” and relax. See how good that makes you feel?

Once you have got the hang of forgiving peoples wrongs (or perceived wrongs!) against you, you will find you will become more patient, mindful and often more polite (which is a very good thing).

So there we have it, the 3 simple keys to slowing down. If you just practice these 3 keys each day, you will find you will be Slower and happier in no time!

Matt

PS, I have added a merchandise and recommended reading list to the “Buy Stuff” page, go check it out.

Slow Down from the Inside Out

 THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

When I initially came across the slow movement, idling, and associated fields, it wasn’t Slow Food, or Slow Travel, or even Slow Sex, or any of those external activities that caught my attention, it was the philosophy behind the slow movement and the mindset you developed from embracing that philosophy; the psychology of slow, or the “tortoise mind”.

I was fascinated with the idea of how, by slowing down your thoughts and actions, you become more relaxed, happier, less stressful, but also, in some (if not all) cases, more productive and more “successful” (whatever that word means to you) too.

I saw developing a tortoise mind, to become an “idler” or a slow person as a key and essential ingredient in not just becoming a happier, but a better person.

I saw slowing down as an “inside out” rather than “outside in” process. By becoming a “tortoise minded” individual I felt that then the rest of the elements of the Slow Movement, such as travel, food, etc would naturally become an extension of who you are, rather than trying to embrace these activities to try and slow yourself down (which is a bit like trying to stop an out of control truck doing 150mph by grabbing hold of the tailgate – it probably won’t work…). When you have developed your “tortoise mind” you will start to notice how unnecessary your old fast habits were and you will naturally be drawn to slower way of doing things.

So, I developed in my mind a sort of archetype of the ideal slow person or idler, the sort of person who can be centred and gathered and unflustered even the fastest and most hectic of surroundings.

Then I had a goal to aim for and I could take my training and skills in psychology, coaching, NLP, hypnosis, mindfulness, etc and start develop exercise and techniques to hopefully get me (and other people) to achieve that ideal.

Some people are naturally like this; I am sure you have seen them. I usually see them at airports, where you have been up at an ungodly hour to catch your flight, you are tired, disorientated and grumpy, you have been hauling your luggage around (you have probably packed far too much, but forgotten something essential), you have been queuing up, waiting your turn, getting bored and frustrated and sick of being battered, bumped into and treated like a total idiot.

Then they turn up. The idler. The archetypal “tortoise minded” person.  They casually swan in with the smallest luggage you have ever seen, calm and unflustered, they are well dressed, relaxed and look damn good. They are smiling, happily and annoyingly polite. Somehow they end up ahead of you in the queue (but didn’t push in), they seem to get the best (or only) seats left in the airport lounge (but are willing to give it up to someone else more in need of the seat, just to find another seat a few minutes later!), the fastest queue and, at the gate, you notice they have been upgraded! They take this with the calm polite modesty and remain pleasant to the end. All their movements are graceful, calm, measured and seemingly frustratingly slow (they stroll nonchalantly along), yet they seem to get everywhere before you, who has been rushing and flapping…

And, if you happen to be going to the same location as them on holiday, you notice they are always perfectly suitably turned out (how did they manage that with the tiny luggage?), fresh, alert, polite and get the last sun lounger!

Don’t you just hate them (because you want to be like them)?!

I am still working on it; that is my ideal goal (at the moment). The reason I was drawn to the slow philosophy was because I was a flustered, twitchy, super-fast person (and it was doing me no good at all), so I have quite a long way to go yet (although I am getting there)…

Pop over to the free stuff page for much more advice and ideas on how to develop your inner idler.

Matt

PS, I am still working on new content for the static pages. Please bear with me, I am getting there slowly…

The Buddha As the First Psychotherapist?

As John Naish so eloquently put in his excellent book “Enough: Breaking Free from the World of More”. Human beings are designed to want, to crave to covet. For good or ill, it is what has got us to where we are today. It has worked very well as a survival strategy and without it, the human race would probably have become extinct by now.

He even posits that the human race should not be called “homo sapien” (thinking or wise man), but “homo expetens” (wanting man).

However, we have now got to a point where those natural cravings have become a hindrance to our development (both socially and evolutionarily) and we need to get beyond them so that we can continue to develop and evolve…

I have been involved in Buddhism since I was about 19. I was sort of aware of it from an early age, when I took up martial arts at the age of 12, but that was really just the draw of a far off and distant land (the mythic “east”) and the iconography and aesthetics of it all.

But I remember when I real became interested in Buddhism was when I was sat in a bar in Cheltenham, I was a little bit drunk and rambling on to this bloke I had just been introduced to about how I thought the majority of problems people have is because they were always wanting more and more things and if they were just appreciated what they had got then the world would be a much better place and we would all be happier (see I was even “Slow” back then…). He interrupted me to ask me “How long have you been interested in Buddhism?”, I had no idea what he was talking about and asked him what he meant, he said I had almost, word for word quoted the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths:

1. Life is suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is craving (or attachment to things).
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable by relinquishing cravings.
4. We can follow the path to the cessation of suffering.

Turns out this guy was an ex-Buddhist monk and he introduced me to Buddhism, recommended books, and groups and events where I could learn more (I feel a bit guilty, as I can’t even remember his name!).

I studied Buddhism through my early 20’s, getting involved with varies groups including The “Friends of the Western Buddhist Order” (FWBO) and “Sanbo Kyodan Zen”, but around 2004 I found myself getting more and more distracted by the world of more, until I peaked in 2007 and found myself the craving, striving, stressed “success coach” that I had become.

What has this potted history of my relationship and involvement in Buddhism have to do with Slow or John Naish?

Well, over the years studying the Buddha’s teachings and methods I starting to formulate the idea that Buddhism was not really a religion but a process of therapy and the Buddha was in fact the first “psychotherapist”! His teachings helped you undo our natural propensity to want and crave and evolve beyond our instinctive urges.

I was not alone in this interpretation and notable Buddhist scholars such as Stephen Bachelor, Caroline and David Brazier, to name a few, have discussed Buddhist techniques and ideology, particularly Zen practices in a therapeutic context. Philip Kapleau has explaines:

“Bompu (or Ordinary) Zen, being free from any philosophic or religious content, is for anybody and everybody. It is a Zen practiced purely in the belief that it can improve both physical and mental health. Since it can almost certainly have no ill effects, anyone can undertake it, whatever religious beliefs they happen to hold or if they hold none at all. Bompu Zen is bound to eliminate sickness of a psychosomatic nature and to improve the health generally.”

This has finally led to Western psychologists and therapists, particularly Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jack Kornfield, Tara Brach, Joseph Goldstein, and Sharon Salzberg, to have researched and studied Buddhist practices, particularly mindfulness, and recent research supports promising mindfulness-based therapies for a number of medical and psychiatric conditions, notably chronic pain, stress, depression and substance abuse and recurrent suicidal behaviour.

The more I study, explore and develop the slow life, in particular the slow mindset (which, to me, is where it is at), the more I recognise that mindfulness is the corner stone to that mindset and the spring from where everything else comes.

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Getting Rid of Want 3: Mindfulness

“Poverty is not the absence of goods but rather the overabundance of desire”

– Plato

Mindfulness is best described by John Kabat-Zinn as “…paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

Being mindful of the present moment can reduce habituation and therefore craving.

In one study of habituation, 3 Zen practitioners were placed in a room with their eyes closed and a clicking noise was made 20 times in a row at 15 second intervals,  their brain waves monitored. When the study had been done with non-Zen Practitioners (‘ordinary’ people) their brainwave patterns showed that by the 5th click habituation had set in and the subjects no longer noticed the sound. In contrast the Zen practitioners responded to each repeated click as fully as the first.

By cultivating the Zen mindset of being open to moment as you can reduces the sense of habituation, therefore craving.

After starting to discuss mindfulness in 3 previous blogs (here, here and here) I have to admit to distracting myself and I am going to return to the subject in the very near future. If you want to learn more about you can attend my “Day of Mindfulness Seminar” or my forthcoming (if I ever get it finished) guide to mindfulness ebook. Sorry. Plug Over…

So I am not going to go into mindfulness too much here, but the good news is you do not need to become a Zen Master or run off to a Buddhist monastery (far from it, most Zen practitioners are lay people rather than monks – people with every day jobs and lives), you can cultivate mindfulness by following a few simple principles:

1) Draw Your Attention into Your Body.

Pay attention to your body, check your posture and relax any areas of tension, move your attention so that you can feel your hips and “sit” into your hips. When you move, pay attention to the movement, whether that is walking or reaching for something or whatever

2) Focus on Your Breath

Don’t try and force it or change it, just focus on it. By focusing on it you will find it will naturally slow and deepen and you will find yourself calmer and more relaxed.

3) Do Something Deliberately

Pick something you do every day, like cleaning your teeth for example, and really pay attention to it, rather than just doing it whilst daydreaming about something else…

4) Be Polite

By making the effort to be polite to the people around you (saying “please” or “thank you” for example) you are forced to be more mindful of your surrounds and slow down!

5) Be Gentle

The Taoists have a saying of only apply “4 ounces” of pressure to whatever you touch. Now, it doesn’t mean exactly 4 ounces, but means being gentle with everything you interact with, both physically and psychologically.

We will look at my final suggestion for getting rid of wanted in this mini-series tomorrow.

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Your Slow Hour

The one key thing to remember about Slowing Down is to not do it too fast! You need to slow down slowly…

If you try and do too much all at once (as we have a tendency and conditioning to do in our hare-brained society) you will just become overwhelmed and end up giving up on slowing down and go back to your old fast life (it is often why we fail to make any changes in our lives; we try and do too much all at once)

It is much better to do one thing at a time to slow down and build up gradually, but one way to introduce more than one change easily is to do a daily (or weekly, or monthly depending on your timescale) Slow Hour. If you can’t do a whole hour, start with a Slow Five Minutes and build up from there.

So, what do you do in this Slow Hour? Well you introduce the key elements of slowing down such as:

1. Relax

Take a few minutes to relax and de-stress yourself, do a few relaxation exercises, for an excellent exercise try my “deep relaxation primer” audio programme.

2. Breath!

Focusing on, drawing your attention to and regulating your breathing is one of the best ways to relax, become more mindful and therefore slow down! There are dozens, if not hundreds of different breathing exercises that you can learn, I often recommend a simple full breath, counting to 7 on the in-breath and 11 on the out-breath. For more details click here listen to this SlowCast.

3. Be Mindful

Do everything you do in this hour with 100% focus and attention, pay attention and be mindful. If you find your mind wandering, just slowly draw your attention back to what you are doing. To help return your attention to the task in hand, focus on your breathing, take a few deep breaths, scan your body for tension, adjust your posture (if needed), relax and return to the task in hand.

4. Single-task

Avoid multitasking and do one thing at a time. With everything that you do in this hour, don’t allow yourself to be distracted or interrupted. Being mindful will help you to be more single-task orientated and by single tasking you will be surprised hoe much more you actually get done.

5. Do something Slow that you want to do!

Turn off the TV (unless, of course, you want to watch a classic movie) and do something slow that you have wanted to do for ages. Maybe read a book, bake bread, paint, learn to play a musical instrument…

And Finally

6. Be Gentle!

Remember the Taoist principle of “four ounces”; everything you touch you should not apply more than four ounces of pressure to it. Now, this is obviously a metaphor and doesn’t mean using exactly four ounces! It is about being gentle, both physically and psychologically. Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself being distracted or agitated or interrupted during your slow hour. Just relax, refocus on your breathing and carry on. You will always have the next Slow Hour.

You will find, very quickly (!) that if you do this regularly for an hour a day, soon an hour wont be enough and you will want to spend two hours a day being slow, then three and you will also find you will be more spontaneously slow even when you are not “meant” to, you will find yourself being more focused, less stressed and being able to do one thing at a time rather letting your attention scatter…

Give it a go over the weekend and see how you get on!

Want to learn more? Check out the “Welcome to the Slow Life” audio programme.

I will be back on Tuesday
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Slow Seminars – Some Tortoise Training Events

I have added some seminars to run this autumn. I have done my best to make the price as fair as possible at £55 per place.

If you can’t attend don’t worry, hopefully the events will be recorded and made available on this site (for a small charge).

All seminars are taking place in Birmingham UK. If you are interested in running any events near to you and would like to organise one, please contact me to discuss it.

Welcome to the Slow Life

Date: 10th October 2009

The Slow Life is the Simple Life is the Easy life. But how do you start slowing your life down?

This day will introduce you to the slow philosophy including the key steps to help you start slowing down straight away!

Learn how, my developing your “slow” mindset you can:
•    Increase focus and concentration
•    Relax and de-tress
•    Become calm and collected
•    Focus on the things you really want to get out of life
•    Reconnect with life and appreciate the present moment
•    Sleep better
•    Become healthier and more energised
•    Get control on your spending and your finances
•    Melt away worries and concerns
•    Much, much more

Finding Time to be Slow

Date: 7th November 2009

The biggest excuse I hear for not slowing down is that “I just don’t have the time. I have FAR to much to do”.

This seminar will take you through a tried and tested process that will help you organise your tasks so that you free up your time and allow to concentrate on what you really want to do.

You will learn to stop reacting to the external environment and banish “to do” lists once and for all you allow you take control of you time and your life!

A Day of Mindfulness

Date: 21st November 2009

Slow is about savouring the minutes not counting them. But how much attention do you really pay to the present moment?

Mindfulness is originally a Buddhist concept and although mindfulness meditation techniques originated as spiritual practices, they have a long history of secular applications with teachers and authors such as Jon Kabat-Zinn introduced Buddhist mindfulness to the West.

Psychotherapists have adapted and developed mindfulness techniques into several promising cognitive behavioural therapies. Clinical research shows Buddhist mindfulness techniques can help alleviate anxiety, stress, and depression.

Present moment awareness is at the core to the Slow philosophy and in this day you will learn ways to be more mindful in your day-to-day life (without needing to spend hours contemplating your navel – unless you want to of course!)

For more details and to book, go to the training page

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Idle Accessories #1: The Humble Dressing Gown

I have to admit, today, I have no idea what to write. I am going to continue the mindfulness mini-course (for want of a better word), next week (I have a bit of a hectic week this week and want to give that subject a bit more time as it is very important to being Slow) and I am working on a new SlowCast (out soon, I promise).

So, I have a list of “blog idea’ that I keep in a document on my Mac, some are quite well developed, some are just a word or a phrase. One just said “Slow Film?”, I have no idea where I was going with that one!

But the one that jumped out was another idea of a random series I was going to start “Idle Accessories”, stuff that help you slow down or that all tortoisem minded people should own. Not a great title I admit, I may change it at a later date.

And number one on that list was the humble dressing gown. It was freezing here yesterday (in the middle of June! Where is the summer?!) and so, to keep warm, I wrapped myself up in my dressing gown whilst doing work. I have a lovely dressing gown, soft, warm, thick and with a hood! A perfect piece of clothing to wander round the house in, whether you are in your pyjama’s or fully clothed. And there is something relaxing, comforting and soothing about pulling on a dressing gown, tying round your waste and collapsing onto the sofa.

Just remember to take it off before you go out.

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How to Slow Down Again

I thought since I have recently falling off the Slow train I would discuss in this blog some ways to start slowing down again if you find yourself accidentally slipping back into those fast, hare brained ways….

1. Don’t Give Up!
We are used to demanding and getting results very quickly and if we don’t we become impatient and give up and move onto the next thing that will give us that instant gratification.

But don’t give up, it is natural that we will slip up and make mistakes from time to time, doesn’t mean we have to give up. Thomas Edison took over 2000 attempts to make a light bulb after all…

2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up About It
We all make mistakes, beating yourself up will just mean it will take longer to get back on the slow train. And it will make you feel bad. So, what’s the point. Self criticism, like over-confidence, is a hare brained process.

3. Pay Attention.
Become mindful of your thought processes, and the feelings you are getting. Don’t judge it, just be mindful of the thoughts and feelings, this will help you stop associating with the mistake and give you some distance and perspective to remind yourself why you want to slow down. Use that thought to motivate yourself to start slowing down again.

4. STOP!
Don’t rush to get back on the Slow train. Rushing to Slow Down in is rather absurd don’t you think? Take some time off, an hour, a day, a week, however much time you have and think you need. Chill out relax, don’t actively do anything either slow or fast, just make some space

5. Learn From It
What was it that caused you to fall off? Was it a specific event? Or a series of things? Was it your thinking? Your organisation skills? See what it was and then focus your time in sorting that area out…

6. Start Slowing Down Again. Slowly.
Pick one of the key area’s of slowing down. Maybe de-cluttering your life, maybe practicing being mindful, maybe focusing on single tasking and slowly start adding more slow processes. Before you know it you will be back in the Slow swing of things!
I am still tinkering with the site, adding bits and bobs, if you find anything that isn’t working, please let me know

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PS, Just claiming my new blog on  technorati:

Technorati Profile

Mindfulness Part 3: A Simple Meditation

OK, now you have had a go at just sitting still (how did you find it?), lets expand that to a bit more of a formal meditation.

I know, I know, to some people the word “meditation” sends shivers down their spin, and they conjure up images of tie dye hippies all sat round chanting, but don’t panic! Meditation is nothing like that (unless you want it to be – I am, I have to admit, a bit of a secret hippy…).

Essentially meditation is about creating mental discipline by which you can get beyond the reflexive, “thinking” mind into a state of relaxation or awareness.

Meditation often involves turning attention to a single point of reference and the easiest point of reference is your breath. The great thing about using your breath as a focus when developing mindfulness is that is always there! So you can do a spot of mindfulness meditation whenever you have a spare few minutes, I often to do whilst stood in a queue waiting for something.

Remember though that mediation is not an end in itself, it is about practicing mindfulness so you can use it all of the time. The secret, really, is to ALWAYS be meditating, and I will get onto that in much more detail in later posts, but right now, I want to talk you through a very basic mindfulness mediation so you can start creating a habit if doing it every day. It is a great habit to get into and you will find, with practice, you will become calmer, more focused and energised is a very short space of time.

To begin with, you only need to dedicate 5 minutes to this and slowly build the time up to 20 – 25 minutes (maybe add a minute a week? There is no rush, it is better to build slowly – those are the most powerful habits).

So, what you do is very simple, you don’t need to get yourself in any complicated posture, or burn incense or anything (although you can if you want to, I find it does help – creating a “ritual” around your practice) just sit in a nice firm chair (not a sofa!), make sure your feet can touch the floor, sit forward a bit on the chair so that you are supporting your own back and it has its natural curve (people often find the correct posture the hardest to create  – listen to the recent podcasts to hear about how to relax, breath and improve your posture), then  just breath! Don’t try and force your breath or change it, just breath. And as you do so, start counting the breath, start at one and go to ten, when you reach ten start at one again (breath in, “one, breath out “two”, etc), if you get distracted by thoughts or whatever, lose count or accidentally go over ten, just draw your attention gently back to your breath and start counting from one again.

Do this for five minutes and see how you get on.

Matt

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