Smiling: An Experiment

Written by on

For the last week or so I have been experimenting with making myself smile at all times and exploring the results on my state of mind and wellbeing (it is not really what you could describe as scientific…).

The idea being, that when we are happy, we tend to smile, however, the feedback loop seems to work both ways and when we smile, just the act of smiling seems make us to feel happy.

The first thing I needed to do was find the right smile, I wanted the half smile of someone who has found peace in themselves, who is happy in the world, that serene half smile of the Buddha. Not a smug self-righteous smirk. Or a gormless grin.

It is actually harder than you think to find the right smile. I spent a considerable amount of time testing out different smiles in the mirror and then still found it would slip and adjust itself to a different kind of smile (often to a vacant grin…) and I would need to “readjust it”.

The idea was not to consciously make any effort to change my thought processes, but to just keep smiling and notice what it did to my state of mind. Obviously the smile was going to slip at times, when I noticed that I would just start to smile again.

The thing I noticed almost straight away was when I smiled I felt more mindful and alert, I noticed things around me I didn’t usually notice and I actually felt energised, which surprised me. I didn’t think smiling would give me more energy, but there you go. On several occasions I was out and about and had totally forgotten to smile, I found myself becoming inpatient, short tempered or flustered. When that happened I stopped and just consciously put the smile back on my face. Immediately I found I became calmer, less stressed and flustered, the tension would literally feel like it was falling away.

The odd thing was, my smile seemed to have an effect on people around me too, they seemed to be more polite and patient or helpful and some would, when catching my attention give me a half smile back before realising what they had just done and look away embarrassed. I wonder if that was just a coincidence?

So give it a go. Just smile. See how it makes you feel (and let me know – please leave a comment below!).

Matt

Meditation Makes You Cool

Written by on

(This seems to have turned into a very long post, so I have recorded an audio version, which you can listen to on my SlowCasts here or in iTunes here)

We often say “I am thinking”, but really it is the other way round; “thinking is doing you”, what I mean by this is that our sense of “self” is a product of our thought processes. There is no fixed self or personality, we recreate our “selves” from moment to moment.

So, if your personality is a product of our thought processes then who or what is doing the thinking? This is called the “our essential nature” in the Zen tradition and often illustrated by the Koan “What did your face look like before your parents were born?”

Siddhartha recognised this and realised that this self-made prison of “self” inhibits us and traps us in repeating unuseful patterns of thought and behaviour over and over.

Mindfulness meditation is the ultimate form of minimalism, not only do you abandon your possessions, you abandon your fixed concept of personality, you become free of the baggage of psychological ticks, hang-ups, contradictions and prejudices that make up “you”.

With the notion (And current trend) of “self development” all you are doing is making your cage more comfortable, you are going the wrong way, self “deconstruction” is the key.

Mindfulness is traditionally a Buddhist meditative process, but has been explored and studied by psychologist since the 1970′s and has been formalised into a number of therapeutic applications that have been shown to work with issues such as stress reduction, anxiety and depression and chronic pain.

Mindfulness is best described by John Kabat-Zinn as “…paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

In the beginning mindfulness meditation is a practice of concentration, with a focus on following or counting the breath. It is essential to build up the required level of concentration.

This concentration and focus on the present moment can be a powerful outcome of it’s own. In the Zen tradition this is called Joriki. You develop a level of mental fortitude and concentration that Zen master Yasutani Hakuun Roshi has referred to as “a dynamic power that enables us even in the most sudden and unexpected situations to act instantly, without pausing to collect our wits, and in a manner wholly appropriate to the circumstances.”

However, mindfulness meditation is much more than just concentrating, it is a powerful tool of self-inquiry, boundless in its scope and ability to reveal the true basis of reality. Through mindfulness we come to realise selflessness and the interconnectivity of all things, which has the potential to transform our lives and those of others.

Meditation: A Simple How to Guide

There are hundreds if not thousands of different types of mediation, from guided mediation (which are closer to self hypnosis) to Transcendental Mediation(tm), to the hardcore hyper-speed psychotherapy for the soul of the Zen tradition. Some of these methods require the guidance of a teacher (and therefore are open to abuse and cult like tendencies, so do be careful if this is your bag).

However, the purest form of meditation is the practice of mindfulness and can be practiced by anyone (although, it is often recognised that a teacher can be useful) at any time. Here is a basic introduction:

Posture

Correct posture is essential to proper meditative practice. It is almost impossible to meditate if you are slouched, or even lying down. It can take some time to become flexible, strong and comfortable enough to sit for long periods of time, so it is a good idea to practice physical exercises to improve strength and flexibility outside of your meditative practice.

The key to correct posture is to have an elongated, unsupported spine and a strong base. There is no need to be able to sit in full lotus, although this a noble aim. Full lotus (or half lotus if you cannot manage full lotus – I sit in half lotus as do most practitioners I know), has been traditionally the meditative position to be in as it allow the body to be held completely steady for long periods of time by giving you a good solid, stable base using your bum, thighs and knees.

With a bit of practice you will be surprised how quickly you can sit comfortably in a good posture (although full lotus may take a few years to achieve!).

To begin with maybe you can only manage to sit in a chair (keep your back straight and unsupported, unless you need to), that is fine, don’t force yourself into an uncomfortable position, you won’t get as much out of your practice and maybe even injure yourself.  You can buy an inexpensive kneeling stool to help you sit in a kneeling position, I have used one for years and it is preferred if you can to sitting on a chair.

Stretch and practice the postures outside of your meditating and then start to incorporate it when you feel ready. Even if you, say, sit in half lotus for five minutes and then complete the rest of the meditation time on a chair.

For an excellent and detailed description of postures and recommended exercises to help improve them you cannot go fair wrong with Robert Aitken’s “Taking the Path of Zen“.

You can close your eyes, but this often promotes a lot more mental activity and it is easier to get distracted or drop off. So it is best to keep your eyes half open and defocus looking at the ground about 4 feet away.

Put your hands palm up in your lap and just gently rest one palm on top of the other and gently put the tips of your thumbs together.

Timing

You can use a stopwatch, glance a clock, or you can download a fancy app for your smart phone (I use the SotoTimer app for my iPhone, it is free and I find it does everything I need very well). Or you can use counting beads (mala), I like counting beads and find them useful tool when I cannot use a clock or timer, I wear my beads around my wrist or neck and find them a positive trigger and reminder to remain mindful (see “Everything is Mediation” below).

Start with a very short period of time, say five minutes and slowly build up by adding a minute a week until you reach 20 – 25 minutes. If you dive straight in with a 25-minute session you will find you get twitchy and distracted and give in very easily, it is better to do a short period time, even if you want to go further. This builds up momentum.

When to do it

It is often recommended to meditate twice a day; first thing in the morning, right after you wake up, and at the end of the day just before you go to bed.

For some people this just isn’t feasible and for others it isn’t the best time. I find it takes me a long time to get going in the morning and with the best will in the world I just don’t get as much out of meditating at that time. So I often sit mid-morning (admittedly I can, I work from home most of the time) after breakfast and few morning chores, I find I can then concentrate and focus better. I don’t often meditate in the evening unless I am sitting with a group.

Find your own rhythm and what works for you, it is most important to find a time that suits you and build up a regular practice (see “ritualising your practice” below). Experiment, we are all different.

Where to do it

You can meditate anywhere, but it helps to develop an area in your home where you go to meditate. This helps put you in the mood and act as a trigger, that when you are there that is what you do, it can be a room, or just a corner or a part of a room, you may want to make a little “shrine” with some flowers a candle, some incense (smell is a very powerful mood trigger and I find the smell of a particular incense always focuses me on meditation), a statue of the Buddha or some other religious artefacts if you have your own personal beliefs.

Buddhism recognises the power of ritual and by ritualising your practice, by doing it an specific time in a specific place, you will find you will build the habit much more quickly and gain the benefits of a meditative practice in a shorter period of time.

What to actually do!

I have talked a lot about how, where, when and how long to sit for, so now it is time to talk about what you should actually do when you are there.

In fact the “content” of mindfulness practice is the easiest to explain (but the hardest to master…).

To begin with, the first few times you meditate, just sit still, don’t try and focus on anything, just sit there, get used to doing nothing for five minutes or so, get used to the fidgets, the twitches, start to notice your mind racing around trying to fill the time. Once you have done that for a week or so and started getting in to the habit, you want to draw your attention to your breathing, don’t force it or try and change the way you breathe, just relax (by relaxing you will notice your breathing will lengthen, deepen and slow down). To help you focus, we count the breaths, you can count the in-breath, the out-breath, or both, it is up to you, see what works best. Count up to 10 then return to one.

We use or breathing as an area of focus as it is always with us, no matter where we are, or what we are doing, we can draw our attention to our breath.

You will notice that your mind carries on thinking, that’s what your brain does (your heart beats, your lungs breath, you brain thinks), the goal of meditation is not to “stop thinking” but to disengage from your thoughts, to just let them drift by like clouds in the sky. As you meditate more, you will notice that your thinking will slow, things will seem less important, less requiring of your immediate attention.

If you find during your sessions that your mind does wander, or gets caught up in the hustle and bustle of your thoughts, just gently disengage, take a couple of long deep breaths, check your posture and then return to counting your breaths.

It really is that simple. For years I thought, “Is this it? Is this all I should be doing?” I worried that it shouldn’t be that simple (it isn’t easy…), and I would sit in meditation and question myself and hunt around (and try out) different styles of meditation. But the more I hunted the more a I kept returning to the breath counting, to it’s purity and simplicity.

Stick to it, you will soon realise the benefits.

Everything is meditation

“The real meditation practice is life itself. The real meditation teacher is life itself.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Sitting meditation is just a chance to practice mindfulness and build concentration, the real process of mindfulness happens in your day-to-day life. Everything is meditation. Everything you do should be an act of mindfulness. Whether you are working, showering, cleaning your teeth, eating or waiting for the bus, everything should be done with awareness. This can take years of practice to remain fully aware throughout your day, but by making an effort to be fully present for moment through the day, whether that is for just three minutes as your clean your teeth, as well as regular “sitting” practice, you will find that your clarity of thought, concentration and ability to cope with what used to seem like ridiculously difficult situations.

You will become “grounded in the present moment without being swept away by it”.

Now isn’t that cool?

Matt

Slow Blogging Revisited

Written by on

I seem to do everything wrong. According to the top bloggers out there at least. I don’t post often or regularly, I write long(ish) meandering posts, they take awhile to get to the point (if there actually is a point) and I often digress (often in long brackets). I make a few grammatical and spelling errors (this isn’t a “slow blogging” thing, this is just my ineptitude and something I am working on improving), I don’t think of tags and keywords or search engines when I write my posts.

But recently I wonder whether I have painted myself in a corner with this whole Slow Blogging ideology. We all (bloggers that is) write to be read, there is no point putting something out there otherwise is there?

Saying that, I often get a terrible case of the “humbles”. With so many brilliant blogs, books and other resources out there covering slow, minimalism, mindfulness, frugality and associated fields what do I have to offer to the field that is of real value?

I have written and trashed dozens of entries, unhappy with the content or the style; dry, dull, no personality. Unhappy that I cannot get across what it is I really want to say, in a way I want to say it. I read other peoples blogs and exclaim, “That is what I was trying to say!”

I worry that I am not saying anything new and just regurgitating what has already been written elsewhere but in a duller and less coherent manner. Why would anyone want to read my (unoriginal?) take on the idea when there are so many more established (and brilliantly talented) voices out there saying it better, more succinctly, and (most importantly) more stylishly than I?

So, the important question is “is Slow Blogging working for me?” and am I really Slow Blogging or just blogging slowly (Slow Blogging is about applying the Slow Philosophy to the blogosphere, blogging slowly is, essentially, being lazy – and Slow certainly isn’t about being slothful or lazy)? Am I blogging in a way that is ineffective just because that is the way I feel I should, or ought to blog to fit into the ideology I have developed, therefore essentially “cutting my nose of to spite my face”?

I have got into the habit of not posting too regularly as I think that is what Slow Blogging is all about. Which it isn’t.

Slow Blogging isn’t actually about blogging less regularly, it is about blogging at your own pace and speed, rather than having that dictated to you by what you “should” be doing to have a “successful” (whatever that means?) blog. If you want to post 10 times a day, go for it, that is still as much of a Slow Blog as one which is updated once every 6 months. Why? One of the core tenants of the Slow Philosophy is Tempo Giusto, or finding your own rhythm in this hectic world.

So by trying to stick to my own rules about Slow blogging, have I inadvertently broken all the rules of Slow Blogging?

Who knows? I am still working on it, but right now, I am just going to blog when I want, rather than when I feel I should (which was my original intention anyway! Until I trapped myself in my own rules!).

Matt

Zen Therapy: A New Approach to Coaching

Written by on

Although I have been blogging (with varying degrees of success) since 2005, I don’t, primarily consider myself a blogger (those of you who are regular readers will have noticed some of the grammatical and spelling clangers I have made over the years!). I consider myself, primarily a coach, trainer and therapist (which is how I make my living). Ironically, I spend most of my day sat at my keyboard tapping away, so maybe I should reconsider my primary vocation as a writer and blogger?

Anyway, I digress, the reason for this post is to announce my new one-to-one online “Zen Therapy” coaching practice.

I have been coaching for over 10 years, three of those I have been developing the “slow strategies” using mindfulness as a core to the approach.

How Can Mindfulness Help?

Mindfulness, as Siddhartha discovered, is the first step of the process of change. By being mindful a broad vista of options open up to us and we don’t need to react in the conditioned hare-brained response that is holding you in your current, scattered and unuseful patterns of behaviour.

Mindfulness has been used by psychologists since the 1970′s to help with issues from stress to depression to chronic pain and substance abuse. It is best described by John Kabat-Zinn as “…paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

I use mindfulness as the jumping off point to a creative process to reconnect with, and create, the life you want. It is probably something very different to what you have experienced before, but many clients describe it as “coming home” and feeling like they have done it before…

Online “Clinic”

After experimenting with different approaches for the last two years, I have developed effective strategies where I can use these processes online via Skype or email exchange. It means you are no longer bound by geographical location and I have worked with people all over the world (including Australia, which meant very early starts for me as I am based in the UK!).

If you feel your life is stuck and you don’t know how to move forward, maybe you have tried traditional “goal based” coaching in the past and it hasn’t worked for you, then this could help.

You can read more and book a session here.

Matt

The Deck Chair Diaries Part 3

Written by on

I really am an Idler at heart, the one thing that has kept me going doing what I am doing is the dread that if I fail I will have to go back and get a “proper job” in some soulless office, with strip lights and recycled air (is it me or is the average office space perfectly designed to inhibit work? Strip lights? They are good for the concentration and don’t cause headaches, aren’t they?) doing something largely pointless just for the sake of it. What William Morris called useless toil.

When I was younger I always wanted to be a rock star, my utter lack of musical ability and crippling shyness scuppered that, however, years later I realised that it wasn’t that I really wanted to be rock star, that was just the only way my teenage mind could manifest the idea of wanting to be free, to be in charge of my own destiny and make money doing what I love. Being a rock star was the only “career” I had come across at that time that fulfilled that criteria.

Being a bit of a William Blake fan (after reading “The Tiger” in 2000AD when I was about 12) I have always been suspicious of authority and can be quite childishly stubborn about such things, so I got out of structured education and got myself a job. Very quickly I realised this working lark wasn’t for me and I started looking for ways out (some could say, this “exploring a way” was really “daydreaming and fantasy”), it took me almost 10 years to figure out how to get out.

All this sounds like I am anti-work, but far from it. I work very hard, the thing is I love what I do. I think the secret to Slow Work is for everyone to find that work, career or pastime that they love doing, a true vocation. Then you are paid to do what you love and it isn’t really work anymore is it? Or as Confucius said “Choose a job you love and you will never have to work again“.

Talking of not having a proper job, I have recently been fascinated by Michael Palin, having read a conversation he had with the Idler back in 2006 (you can read it here) after a one man show entitled “Forty Years Without a Proper Job”. I am looking forward to reading his diaries, as soon as I have finished reading some research on my latest New Escapologist article “The School of Wayward Buddhism – A Radical Reinterpretation of the Teachings of Siddhartha Gautama”. Interested? You will have to get the next issue of the New Escapologist to read more.

Other than that, I have been tinkering with this site (I have added some new subtle features such as the “Most Popular Posts” over there on the sidebar and “Related Posts” at the bottom of each entry to help you find your way round more easily) and watching the onset of autumn.

My life really is rather simple and quiet, and I like it that way.

Matt

P.S, Can you do me a simple favour? If you have found this, or any other posts on this site interesting, please bookmark it on StumbledUpon, Digg, etc, or link to it from your blog/site. I will be very, very grateful (and will often do a reciprocal link).

P.P.S, Got something you would like to add? Or a question? Please feel free to comment, I will do my best to respond.

P.P.P.S, Are you looking for a guest post for your blog, or want to submit a guest post here? Feel free to contact me for a chat.

It’s All Lumber!

Written by on

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

I have recently been re-reading “Three Men in a Boat” by Jerome K Jerome, it is one of my favourite books and I often carry round a battered green covered Penguins Popular Classics copy in my back pocket. When I find myself swaying away from the slow path it instantly reminds me why I am doing this.

On my recent re-read I was struck by a particular passage in the book, that I think sums up the idle approach to “stuff” (see my previous post here).

“…How many people, on that voyage, load up the boat till it is ever in danger of swamping with a store of foolish things which they think essential to the pleasure and comfort of the trip, but which are really only useless lumber.

How they pile the poor little craft mast-high with fine clothes and big houses; with useless servants, and a host of swell friends that do not care twopence for them, and that they do not care three ha’pence for; with expensive entertainments that nobody enjoys, with formalities and fashions, with pretence and ostentation, and with – oh, heaviest, maddest lumber of all! – the dread of what will my neighbour think, with luxuries that only cloy, with pleasures that bore, with empty show that, like the criminal’s iron crown of yore, makes to bleed and swoon the aching head that wears it!

It is lumber, man – all lumber! Throw it overboard. It makes the boat so heavy to pull, you nearly faint at the oars. It makes it so cumbersome and dangerous to manage, you never know a moment’s freedom from anxiety and care, never gain a moment’s rest for dreamy laziness – no time to watch the windy shadows skimming lightly o’er the shallows, or the glittering sunbeams flitting in and out among the ripples, or the great trees by the margin looking down at their own image, or the woods all green and golden, or the lilies white and yellow, or the sombre- waving rushes, or the sedges, or the orchis, or the blue forget-me-nots.

Throw the lumber over, man! Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need – a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.

You will find the boat easier to pull then, and it will not be so liable to upset, and it will not matter so much if it does upset; good, plain merchandise will stand water. You will have time to think as well as to work. Time to drink in life’s sunshine – time to listen to the Aeolian music that the wind of God draws from the human heart-strings around us….”

The less you have the smoother you go. You cannot embrace the slow philosophy if you are weighed down with “stuff”…

Matt

Zen and the Art of Zen

Written by on

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

I first got into Buddhism when I was 19. I remember it very clearly, surprisingly so since I was drunk at the time. I was rambling to a friend of a friend I had just been introduced to in a bar in Cheltenham, I was expounding my current thoughts about life the universe and everything to this poor guy and it went something like this:

“Right, what it is, yeah, is that we are unhappy because we constantly wanna have things, we strive and crave, but all that stuff will, like, just break or fade or fall apart man. The secret to being happy is to let go off all that shit, if you cannot be happy with nothing, you can never be happy with everything…”

To which he responded “Oh, I didn’t realise you were a Buddhist”

And I said “Huh…?”

He then went to explain he was in fact an ex-Buddhist monk what I had just been drunkenly waffling on at him about the Four Noble Truths. Once he realised that I wasn’t actually a Buddhist and had just come up with it by myself he encouraged me to read some books and meet with the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order (now the Triratna Buddhist Community).

(actually, that is not strictly true, I had been aware of Buddhism for many years before that through my interest and experience in martial arts, but back then it just seemed to be to some mystical religion from the East with cool iconography and bad ass monks. OK, I admit it, until the meeting with the monk, my knowledge came from the Monkey TV show and Kung Fu movies).

I became fascinated with the Zen school of Buddhism a few years later after being introduced to the writings of the Beat Generation (particularly Jack Kerouac and Gary Snyder) by a good friend of mine. I consumed books by Alan Watts and DT Suzuki and eventually, through luck more than anything I became involved with Oxford Zen Group (of the Sanbo Kyodan lineage of Zen) and studied Zen formally for about two years. I drifted away from my practice as I became more and more seduced by the cult of speed…

What is Zen Anyway?

Zen has become one of the most confused words in the West today. Because, to untrained ears, a lot of Zen writings sound like mumbo jumbo (“the sound of one hand clapping” anyone?), a lot of utter mumbo jumbo is often passed off as Zen.

It has become a “catch all” phrase for anything from chilled out cool, to focused attention. We like it in the West, as it seems a bit trippy and cool (probably because it’s early associations with the Beat movement). Many people I see talking about how “Zen” they are, are often the most “un-Zen” people I have ever met. They either use it as an excuse to be lazy, or are just waaaaaay too intense and twitchy…

For those of you who are unsure, Zen is a contemplative form of Buddhism that focuses on experiential wisdom rather than study of the scriptures. It de-emphasises theoretical knowledge in favour of direct realisation through meditation practice. It requires discipline and focus to practice.

“Zen” is the Japanese word for the Chinese word “Chan”, which, in turn is the Chinese word translation of the Sanskrit word “Dhyana”, which means “meditation”.

So, “Zen” in its broadest possible sense means being in a meditative state (we will look at that in a little more detail in a minute).

Doing Zen vs Being Zen

There is a difference between “doing Zen” and “being Zen”.

Doing Zen – Formal Zen Training

It is impossible to formally study Zen without being under the tutelage of a Zen teacher (from a recognised lineage). Zen is about experiential knowledge more than scripture study. Meditation (or “sitting”) is the corner stone of Zen practice, the intense meditative practice of Zen study can create some very strange psychological effects and it is essential to have a trained teacher who can help guide you.

Formal Zen training is designed to break down our mental constructs of the world around us and allow us to perceive the world as it really is (to achieve, as the Buddhists call it “enlightenment”, to break away from our dreamlike state and wake up). It is hardcore high-speed (a prime example of “slow down go faster”) psychotherapy for the soul and can create some extreme sensations and can send you a bit bonkers if you try and do it without proper guidance.

Being Zen

Of course, you can “be Zen”, without ever having any formal training (Siddharha didn’t have any, after all, he just sat down for a bit of a think…). Zen has become a word that is used in the West in a similar context to what sports people may call the “zone” or (especially Jazz) musicians call the “flow”, but people seem to like it as it is still a bit mystical and exotic and “groovy”…

It has come to mean a sense or state of calm focused attention where “you” seem to dissolve and the task you are doing takes over. Where the difference between the “doer” and the “doing” disappears. I am sure you have experienced that at some point in your life? It is about living in the present moment and appreciating the simpler joys of life (the more you practice Zen, or meditation in general, the less “stuff” becomes important to you).

The Zen of Slow

After my realisation that I had been seduced by speed and the kindly and timely intervention of serendipity introduced me to the Slow Movement, Carl Honore and Tom Hodgkinson, the first place I turned to for help regaining balance and centring myself was my previous practice in Zen. I kept returning to a phrase in my mind that I had read in a book on Buddhism years ago:

“Grounded in the present moment, but not swept away by it”

I realised that I could make all the changes I wanted in my external world to try and slow down (incorporating all the facets of the Slow Movement – Slow food, slow travel, etc), but to really change the way I was living I needed to change the way I was thinking.

I explored mindfulness and started to adjust the strategies and skills I had learned as a “success coach”. However, a lot of my take on the “Slow Movement” and particularly the idea of the “Tortoise Mind” have been influenced by my studies of Eastern philosophies of Taoism and Zen.

To become Slower, you need to start by slowing down your mind, your thoughts and your behaviour, to let go of cravings, anger and jealousy. Changing your lifestyle to try and change the way you think, feel and behave is working the wrong the way round.

You have to change your mind first.

I am not suggesting you dash off to sign up at the nearest Zen Monastery, but elements of Zen practice are very useful tools to help you cultivate this change.

Matt

(Please note: I make no claims to be an “expert” on Buddhism, or a Zen teacher, or anything like that. I am still very much a beginner in all this and I am just humbly sharing my experiences).

Slow Down Go Faster

Written by on

Today I was running late, I rushed to try and put my shoes on to get out of the door. I pulled my shoelace in a funny way and actually made the knot tighter and struggled to get my shoe on and the knot undone. In my rush and fluster I got frustrated and started flailing and flapping and shouting and swearing like a demented gibbon. No matter how much faster I tried to force my shoe on and pull the knot loose, I just wasn’t getting anywhere.

Then a little voice in my head said “STOP!”. I stood still for a second or two (it seemed like forever), took a deep breath, relaxed my tense muscles, bent down and calmly and slowly untied the knot in my lace, and slipped my shoe on.

If I have only acted like this in the first place, I would have been out of the door much faster than wasting time effort and energy trying to rush to put my shoes on.

Our hare brained mind goes so fast it often slows us down.

Slow is not actually about being slow. It is about being unflustered, unhurried, calm and collected (centring our energy, rather than letting it scatter). By thinking and acting in a thoughtful and focused manner we WILL go faster…

4 Physical Ways to Slow Down

Written by on

I talk a lot about cultivating your “tortoise mind”, in fact, one could say it is the raison d’être of this blog. However, really, talking just about the “tortoise mind” is somewhat of a red herring, as our mind and body are intrinsically linked and one affects the other. One of the fastest ways to change your mental state is to make changes with you body.

Below are, after a few years of trial and error,  what I consider the four key steps to using your body to slow down your mind. I have learned these from a variety of sources from Tai Chi, Yoga, The Alexander Technique and The Feldenkrais Method, to name a few.

1. Breathe

One of the most effective ways to control your thoughts and feelings is to control your breath.

Slowing your breathing will slow down your mind; it will stop it from racing around. We rarely pay attention to our breathing, but our breathing is a very powerful tool to control our emotional, mental and physical state.

By focusing on and controlling your breathing, you can calm yourself, focus yourself, and energise yourself. There are lots of different breathing exercises you can learn that can make massive changes to your current state.

The old “stop and take a deep breath” has become a bit of a cliché, but it works!

2. Centre

Finding your centre is essential to being able to breath properly, align your posture, relax and use your biomechanics and energy efficiently. Centring is used in most martial art systems, especially Tai Chi and Aikido (it is sometimes called your Tantien or One-point).

By breathing, moving, and being aware of your centre you will find you will relax more, have more energy and be more in control of your emotions and thoughts.

Your centre is two fingers width below your belly button and about the same inside. So, to find it, take 2 fingers from one hand place them horizontally below your belly button, and with one finger of the other hand, gently press the point directly below your belly button. That is your centre. You will need to be aware of it to breathe, move and stand effectively.

3. Sink

Not collapse, but sinking down into your centre. Sinking is like anchoring yourself, stopping yourself being swept away. The Buddha, when he was still Siddhartha, saw a Brahmin (Indian Holy Man) in a town square and was inspired by the way this person could be “centred in the present moment, without being swept away by it”. This is the power of sinking.

4. Relax

Relaxing, both mentally and physically, correcting your posture so you are utilising only the energy required to do what you need to do. Be gentle, in actions and thoughts.

Learn more about this and much more, by popping over to the “free stuff” page and getting all the juicy and utterly complimentary morsels over there.

Matt

The Deck Chair Diaries Part 2

Written by on

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

It has been a while hasn’t it?

I am all of a muddle, having had a busy month or so and have been neglecting all my online duties.

Back in the middle of June (the 16th to be exact), my main website, mattcaulfield.com where I promote all my courses, products and coaching keeled over, catastrophically. So catastrophically in fact that I lost my website and had to create a brand new one from scratch. With zero budget.

So, I spent 3 weeks teaching myself WordPress so that I could build the new site and now I have total control over it (huge learning curve, but deeply rewarding).

Because of the rush, I have to be honest, I am still not sure where I am going with it, and some of the site is just a facsimile of the old one (I just cut and pasted the content).

The idea of the new site (as you can hopefully see by the clean design) was to simplify everything, to combine everything that I do into one site and present it all in a clean and fresh (and easy to understand) way.

I have combined my NLP based blog with my “Business Advice” blog (for budding therapists and coaches) and was intending to combine this blog into there as well. But I am not sure. I would love to hear feedback from you, dear readers, to see what you think. At the moment I am leaning towards keeping it separate.

Unfortunately, with the site being “OK for now” I have had to leave it and had other things to do.

I taught my first “Psykologika Esoterika” training a couple of weeks ago, this is where I teach people to be a “mentalist” like Derren Brown or Patrick Jane. You can read a training report here with some pictures and clips of how the delegates got on.

Then I headed straight into an NLP Practitioner training.

As you can see “work” has taken up much of my time since I last wrote. I put “work” in inverted comma’s as it isn’t really work and I am very grateful that I can make a living doing what I love. It is not essential to living a “slow” life to be “self employed” (for want of a better word) and many “slow” people have proper jobs (it is about doing what you love after all, and if what you love involved working for someone else, go for it). However for me Slow is about freedom and to have true freedom you have to escape the 9-5 humdrum.

Speaking of escape, I have recently submitted an article to the New Escapologist magazine, it will appear in issue 4 which is out on the 16th of August. Whilst planning this I have had the pleasure of conversing with Rob Wringham, the founder and editor. He is an incredibly likable, intelligent and motivated (if that is the right word) person with wisdom beyond his years. I am glad to have had the opportunity to get to know him personally. I highly recommend you check out the magazine at www.newescapologist.co.uk

In my last diary entry I talked about staring out of the window a lot. Well staring has turned to action and, in between trainings, I have managed to finish off the garden and now have an outside idyll to relax in.

If we ever have the weather.

It has turned distinctly autumnal here (I am sat writing this wearing 2 jumpers) and I keep needing to remind myself that it is only the start of August and still the middle of summer.

So it is back to staring out of the window…

Which is a shame, I am feeling that summer is slipping by unnoticed for me. And (as I said in my last entry) one of my basic tenants in helping you slow down is to get out amongst nature, not only will the fresh air do you good, but engaging with nature and noticing the signs of the passing of the seasons will help you engage and connect with time again.

Since I last wrote I have finished reading Tom Hodgkinson’s excellent “How To Be Free” and (re)read “Nineteen Eighty-Four” by George Orwell (Orwell is one on of my favourite authors of all time), it is one of my favourite books, but I probably hadn’t read it for about 15 years and I had forgotten just how profound it was, every page makes some cutting comment or observation about our Society and the way it is heading. I urge you to read it, if you haven’t already.

I am also reading “Chi Kung: Way of Power” by Master Man Kam Chuen, as it was recommended to me as one of the best treatise on Chi Kung. It is. I need it at the moment, after the last months hectic activities my energy is flagging and I need a bit of a boost.  Chi Kung really is an amazing form of gentle yet extremely powerful exercise and Tai Chi is the worlds laziest martial art, gentle, simple, yet extremely powerful after just a little practice. If you are looking for a gentle way to boost your vitality (and defend yourself in a non-violent and non-aggressive way) I really do urge you to give it a go.

I must also get back to meditating. Meditating makes you cool (I need to do more obviously). I notice when I don’t sit for some time I become scattered and anxious. I am currently working on some simple guided mediation mp3 downloads which will be available very soon, in the mean time why not pop over to the “free stuff” page and get a guided relaxation primer and some other goodies?

Be back soon
Matt