Welcome to Tortoise Knows Best 2.0

Hello and welcome to Tortoise Knows Best 2.0. It has taken me a little longer than hoped to get everything done. It is still a little rough around the edges and in particular the “Buy Stuff” page still needs a bit of work. I have, however, added an eGuide page and a Guided Meditation page, both powered by e-junkie. I haven’t added the specific product pages yet, I am still writing them, so if you want to know any more detail please contact me.

A Note On Comments

I have switched comments off as I was sick of spam, idiots and self promoters. I am comfortable enough to blog without needing the reassurance of kind comments from you lovely and intelligent readers. If you have something you would like to ask or say, please contact me via twitter, facebook, or if you would prefer to do so privately via my contact page.

Simplified Categories

The previous site lost focus a bit and posts became excessively random and a bit too eclectic. So, to refocus on the true raison d’être of this blog (strategies to help you cultivate your “Tortoise-Mind”), I will be simplifying the categories to:

The Journey
These are meandering posts of my thoughts, musings and ideas. Things I have been contemplating, or something I have read, seen or been introduced to that has triggered some insight that I think it would be useful to share. They are more personal. I ramble. It is about the journey after all.

The Knowledge
These are your classic “how to” posts, they will give you an idea, technique or strategy for you to try out to help you cultivate your “tortoise mind”, sometimes they will be linked to the journey post. Sometimes not.

Suggested Reading From Version 1.2

Older posts are not organised in this way and are all now listed as “uncategorised”, so please feel free to dip in and out of those. I have done my best to link back to older posts where relevant (with a related post link at the bottom of each post and the most popular posts on the right hand sidebar), but if you are new here I would recommend you start with these posts:

  1. This is a Slow Blog
  2. The Slow Philosophy
  3. Slow Down From the Inside Out
  4. The Businessman and the Fisherman
  5. Hare Brained or Tortoise Minded?
  6. Meditation Makes You Cool
  7. Four Physical Ways to Slow Down
  8. International Day of Slowness
  9. The 3 Keys to A Slow and Happy Life
  10. Learn to Let Go
  11. The Overflowing Tea Cup (and your own list here)
  12. Life is A Journey Not a Destination
  13. Manners Maketh the Idler
  14. A Beginners Guide to Slowing Down
  15. Can I?
  16. The Little Things

To get a daily dose of Slow Wisdom please follow me on twitter, or if you don’t use twitter try my facebook page (which seems more popular anyway, I don’t think Slowbies/Idlers like Twitter too much…)

All this is repeated (with a bit more detail) in the “About” page.

Things being as there are here, as everywhere else, are in constant flux, so more changes will occur off and on. Some large, some smaller. Please contact me via twitter, facebook or my contact page if you have any thoughts or comments.

Matt

Please Excuse The Mess

Hello there, as you can probably see Tortoise Knows Best is going through a little bit of a renovation and redecoration; a slap of whitewash and some restructuring work. Most of it has been done on a test site, but there are a few things I need to do live as it were.

The site is fully functional, it just looks a bit messy at the moment. Please feel free to browse around and contact me if you have any questions.

Just don’t lean on the wet paint…

Thank you for your patience.

Matt

Tortoise Knows Best 2.0

My apologies for the silence over the last couple of weeks (well, this is a Slow Blog…), after my last blog post about the story so far and what I plan to do in the future, it planted a seed of an idea of how to proceed, a slight change in direction and new, more focused blog.  Which will also involve a facelift.

The idea is still gestating (creativity, after all, takes time. Just ask Archimedes), hence the current silence. I don’t want to rush at this.

So, please bear (or is that bare? I am never sure) with me, I will be back soon with Tortoise Knows Best 2.0.

Until then, I will continue to do regular updates via twitter, so please feel free to follow and interact with me on there.

Matt

PS. Due to the incredible amount of spam I have been getting, I have currently disabled comments, if you would like to contact me, please use twitter.

The Story So Far

(For an audio version of this blog click here, or here to listen via iTunes)

This blog is just over two years old, so I thought for my first post of 2011 I would write a brief(ish) “story so far”, hopefully this will act as a catch up for new readers and review for older ones. And as a way of focusing myself for 2011…

I first came across the Slow Movement in late 2007. In early 2008 I had the idea of taking the fundamental philosophy of the Slow Movement (as I understood it – the great thing I love about the Slow Movement is that not organised and controlled by a singular organisation and is propelled by individuals. Which means it is different from person to person) and combine it with the tools, techniques and strategies I had learned from 8 years experience (at the time) of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), hypnosis, coaching, meditation and other bits and bobs of psychology and productivity (through work I had done with businesses and lecturing on Aston Business School’s MBA course) to generate ways to help people Slow down, become more mindful and productive and reconnect with their lives.

At this point I had been running my own coaching and training business since 2000, it had grown from strength to strength, but I wasn’t happy, I was stressed and I didn’t know why. I had started to be turned off by the whole “self help” field and was finding it horribly insincere and impatient. I was getting more and more clients expecting and demanding instant fixes to problems , these expectations were being fed by the vacant marketing of snake oil salesmen who seemed to be filling up the field. I was trying to do too much, to please everyone, which ironically meant I wasn’t getting anything finished, or anything finished to a decent standard at least. I needed to strip back what I was doing, simplify and get back to basics (and what I loved doing).

The irony was I hadn’t always been this fast and stressed, I had be seduced by the idea that “faster is better” and impatience was a virtue without really realising it. Before getting involved in NLP, coaching and training I had been practicing Buddhist meditation, Tai Chi and Yoga (very Slow pastimes!).

It took an accident to show me the way! I ordered “In Praise of Slow” from Amazon by mistake… This introduced me to a different way of thinking and living. It came as revelation that I didn’t need to be seduced by speed, that there is another (better) way!

I started this blog as a way of recording my exploration into the Slow Movement and associated fields. It didn’t land fully formed and has been a rather organic, and at times chaotic process, following my fascination and seeing where that took me. Which means it has meandered and wandered and often lacked focus.

My Slow Philosophy

The first thing I did ((after researching The Slow Movement and related fields intensely for around 6 months) was distil my  “Slow Philosophy”. This was my starting point.

The term “slow” is shorthand for:

A Philosophy

Recognising that time is precious, but rushing to try and fit more in is not the answer. That taking the time and effort to appreciate what is now will be much more fulfilling than filling your days and doing this just to get somewhere in the future.

That leads to…

A State of Mind/Attitude

Embodied by being centred, relaxed, unhurried, unrushed, unflustered and acting spontaneously in the right way (at the right pace) in a given situation.

That becomes a…

Lifestyle

This manifests itself as different ways for different people, depending on their interests and experiences, but shared values are: Finding the right pace to do things,  appreciating the present moment, community and co-operation (rather than competition),  manners and making meaning connections with people.

It is inspired by and embodies the spirit of the tale of the Hare and the Tortoise – “Slow and steady wins the race…”

And develops…

Practical Applications

In all areas of life: business, arts, education, sports, transport, anywhere!

Slow is NOT…

“Slow is not about doing everything at a snail’s pace; it’s about working, playing and living better by doing everything at the right speed.”
-    Carl Honore

About being slothful, lazy or ignorant. In fact just the opposite, it is about being mindful, aware and intelligent in your actions.

Then I started thinking of what this actually meant:

Slow Down From the Inside Out

Very quickly I realised that, to me, the Slow Movement, and slowing down came from the inside out.

The key thing to me was to change the way we think.

Most Slow Movements seem to me to be outfacing and external in nature: slow food, slow travel, slow cities, etc and no one was considering the fact that, before we could change the way we live, we need to change the way we think.

It has always been a key philosophy of mine and something that has underpinned my work since I started out in the field was that, before we can even attempt to make changes to our own external world we need to change our internal one (our thoughts and emotions).

So many people get this the wrong way round and wonder why they cannot get the life they crave. They try and make changes to their external world hoping these actions will change their thought processes and emotions.

I started using the phrase “tortoise mind” to describe the mindset I wanted to develop, in comparison to  “hare-brained” which seems to be how most people think and act.

The Archetypal Idler (for me)

Once I had that (and that came to me quite late on this process), I started to focus on how develop it.

I used the term idler as a short hand label (probably because I was first re-introduced to this Philosophy by Tom Hodgkinson’s excellent Idler periodical) for someone who had embraced the Slow philosophy and developed their tortoise mind.

Being idle, to me, wasn’t about being lazy, stupid or slothful, it was about being efficient, unflustered and unhurried, in the way an engine is being most efficient on or just above it’s idling rev range. The term idle has become something rather pejorative and negative, yet great minds, from Diognese and the Cynics, to Seneca and the stoics, the Buddha, the Romantics, and people like Theroux, Jerome K Jerome, Bertrand Russell and Will Self (to name but a few, I could write much, much more – for a more detailed history of the Slow, why not grab my “Welcome to the Slow Life” audio book here) have spoken of the virtues of idleness.

So, after a bit of experimentation, I realised that I needed to develop something to aim for, the archetypal idler, and then work towards achieving that.

Of course, this archetype is different for everyone and people interpret the Slow Philosophy in different ways and to different degrees (that’s what I like about it, it is an art, everyone is different), so you need to develop your own vision to how you want to be.

For me it was an image of a person in an airport, you can read the details here.

The Four Keys to the Tortoise Mind

What attributes does the Idler have?

I defined what I considered the 4 keys to the tortoise mind (it was, until recently, the 3 keys, but I have changed it!), which are:

1. Mindfulness
The past has gone and the future, well, you can’t hang your hopes on it… There is only now. Pay attention! So many of us spend our time day dreaming about thee future or remembering the past, so few of us spend time in the present moment.

2. Gratitude
Gratitude is the opposite of greed. Our consumer society wants us to keep buying more and more things to collect clutter to replace what we have as soon as we are bored of it. It is designed to make us acutely aware of what we haven’t got so we will crave it. This grasping and craving means we will never really be happy, as soon as we have that one thing we thought would complete us we grow used to it and want something new. Be grateful for what you have. Make a list each.

3. Compassion
Compassion isn’t very trendy any more in this Hare Brained world and we are all out to get what we can for ourselves. Being hare brained is self centred and solipsistic. Being Tortoise Minded is about connecting with the people around us, being polite, thoughtful and well mannered. We are all together on this lunatic asylum of a planet and everyone is just trying to do the best they can with the choices and information they have at the time. Remember that.

4. Relaxation (of body and mind)
Phil Hine describes confidence as “being relaxed in the present moment”. By relaxing our body we relax our minds. We can think more clearly and positively, we can also reduce stress and toxins in our body and feel more energised and focused.

These 4 keys have no hierarchy, they are equally as important as each other. Think of them as threads that need to weave themselves through you psyche to hold it all together.

Of course we can add things to this list like simplicity or organisation, but these are secondary traits that will come naturally once you embrace the 4 keys.

What About the Future?

So, what does the future hold? Well, I will continue to refine what it is I am doing and explore and develop new ideas and strategies. I fancy spending some time looking at how we can implement these Slow strategies into the workplace and how by embracing the Slow Philosophy we can actually become more productive and successful, but with less stress and waste (as William Morris puts it “useful work rather than useless toil”). Some of the ideas I have are rather grand, others very simple and down to earth.

Work wise (I have never made any excuses about the fact I am make my living through this site!) I want to increase the number of clients that I have, and start to drip feed out quality information products to help people, including guided mediations, a (long overdue) eCourse, and a book (a proper book, not an ebook, I like proper books). I have taken my time as I wanted to be clear about what it was I am actually doing before I released anything. I am still doing coaching and training in NLP, and have some new exciting things going on over there too, but here is not the place to discuss my plans with that (although they do dovetail).

And I fancy a facelift of this site too. Not that I don’t love the job that Eric did when he set it up for me, but that was a year and half ago and a nice redecoration is probably due. But that will have to wait a little while yet.

Right then here is to a Slow and Successful 2011, I hope you stick around for the journey!

Matt

Let it Slow, Let it Slow, Let it Slow: Seasons Greetings!

Excuse the bad pun of the title, I just couldn’t help myself…

Well, it is that time of year again. Christmas has snuck back round and this will most probably be my last post of 2010. So I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

For the last two years (since this blog began, back in October 2008), I have written a Christmas themed blog about Slowing down over this most un-Slow of festivals. Unfortunately, what should be a celebration, a time to spend with friends and family and (in it’s earliest incarnation) escape from the winter dreariness with a massive feast, has been usurped and become nothing more than a celebration of consumerism.

Over at The Idler, Tom Hodgkinson draw’s our attention to G.K Chesterton’s  comments in “The Spirit of Christmas” , Christmas is “…deliberately placed under the conditions in which it is most uncomfortable to rush about and most natural to stop at home… the old healthy idea of such winter festivals was this: that people being shut in and besieged by the weather were driven back on their own resources.”.

Don’t rush about this Christmas, think about what is important to you and try and embrace the true spirit of Christmas, don’t indulge in the orgy of overspending due to some sense of duty or obligation.

Eat, drink and be merry with the people that you love!

For the new readers out there that haven’t come across these posts before, I have linked to them below:

Slow Yule Part 1

Slow Yule Part 2: Pre-Reformation Celebrations

Slow Yule Part 3: Bad Santa

Slow Yule Part 4: Merry Christmas/Seasons Greetings

Bah Humbag: Slowing Down Christmas

I will see you all in 2011.

Matt

The Eye of the Storm: Remaining Calm in a Hectic Environment

The Christmas festive period is upon us, which means that suddenly people appear from everywhere and clutter the shops, roads malls and town centres, making even a simple errand 10 times more difficult and time consuming.

It is easy being “tortoise-minded” and embrace the slow philosophy, psychology and lifestyle if you stay out of the way and live like a hermit. But that isn’t really what Slow is about, if you cannot be slow in a hectic environment then you are not really being “Slow” you are just avoiding.

So, how can you remain calm centred and unflustered in a hectic, busy and chaotic environment? Try this simple, on the fly mediation that you can do anywhere at any time (just try not to get in anyone’s way, you have to stand still for about 30 seconds!).

Centre yourself in your body, sink into your hips, lengthen your spine and stand up straight (imagine you are being pulled up by a thread attached to the crown of your head), focus on your breathing and make the conscious effort to relax on the out breath. This step only needs to take five seconds.

Now imagine you are watching yourself out of the top of your head (so you are looking down on yourself, go as high as you need to get the right perspective), see yourself as the centre of the storm of people around you. You are still, grounded and calm, everyone else is spinning round you at high speed, hectic and flustered.

Once you have spent a few moments doing that (you can do it with your eyes open or closed, depends on the situation), come back into your body, re-centre and focus on the sense of serene calm that you have created. Look around and allow yourself to smile at the throng of people around you. Repeat the mantra (in your head) “I am the calm centre of the storm raging around me” (or something similar).

Now when you start moving through the crowd, rather than getting sucked into the melee, you are the calm centre and that storm is rage around you.

With a bit of practice you will be able to hold this state for as long as you need, and the odd thing I have found is, when I am in the push and shove of the crowd, if I remain in the calm centred state, people seem to move out of my way!

I wish you all the best in remaining calm and unflustered in this hectic season!

Matt

Are You Really Slow or Are You a Fastoholic?

Have you ever known anyone that has stopped smoking, for example, and suddenly become the most rabid and outspoken antismoker?

When we stop doing something we often slingshot in the opposite direction, we go from one extreme from the other. This is rarely anything to do with the possible addictive nature of the behaviour that has changed (smoking and drinking are the most common examples), but to do with how the person identifies with that behaviour. Often the people who become rabidly anti-something (that they used to do) are the ones that still identify themselves with the behaviour they are now no longer allowing themselves (often for very good reasons) to do. A rabid ex-smoker, for example, will often still consider themselves a smoker, just one who doesn’t smoke. No wonder they are frustrated! They become judgemental and outspoken because, well, why should you enjoy it when they can’t any more?

Fastoholics are people have changed their lifestyle, sold the car (or got a Prius), embraced whole-food, the whole nine yards, but BOY do they want you to know about it! They become po-faced, pious and judgemental. Why? Because they still crave the old fast life, they are only slowing down because they think they should and going about it completely the wrong way. They are still “hare-brained”, they still identity with the old fast life and secretly miss it. They may have changed their external world, but haven’t made the effort to change the way they think about themselves or identify with their behaviour.

Slowing down really does come from the inside out, before you even think about changing your lifestyle, you need to change your relationship with that lifestyle; how you think and feel about. In essence, you need to change your identity. You must consider yourself “tortoise-minded”, not just a “hare-brained” person who has happened to slow down.

Take minimalism for example (a very hot topic right now). Extreme minimalism often seems to be a knee jerk reaction to clutter, like a junkie going cold turkey. It almost becomes a competition about who can own the least. It is much more useful (and healthy) to change your relationship with stuff before you just chuck it all in the bin. The cold turkey approach rarely works and you will just end up regretting your decisions (and very quickly start to horde things again).

Unfortunately most people I meet who claim to be slow are really just Fastoholics. People who are trying to give the impression (for whatever reason) that they have slowed down, but their mind is still racing. Fastoholics are reactive, they just change their external world in response to their unhappiness with their relationship to it.

Tortoise minded people are proactive and take the time to explore, understand and change their relationship with their external world. When you do this, you will find your behaviour and lifestyle will just start to change naturally, without needing to force it.

Matt

Slow Eating

There is a lot talked about Slow Food and the Slow Food Movement. It was, in fact, the genesis of the modern Slow Movement. Unlike other slow movements, it has a figurehead (Carlo Petrini), its own website (www.slowfood.com) and many “officially” sanctioned organisations around the globe.

The Slow Food Movement seems to be mainly concerned with the quality of ingredients, cooking and eating experiences. But what about the actually physical process of eating your food? The mechanics of chewing, tasting and swallowing (and digestion!)? There is no point having Slow Food, if you eat it quickly!

By slowing down your eating process you will find you enjoy your food more, eat less (which will help you lose weight) and actually be drawn to healthier foods.

Do this little experiment

Get a piece of food you enjoy eating, a piece of fruit, or maybe a chunk of (good quality) chocolate. Pick it up, look at it, we first taste with our eyes, feel the texture in your hand (with chocolate you may have to do this fast!), smell it, then pop it in your mouth. Notice the texture and the first thing you taste and any emotions and thoughts this conjures up. Start to slowly chew or suck it, ever so slowly, notice how the flavour and texture changes, notice the sensations in your mouth, where they start, where they go. Notice the mechanical process, what does your jaw do? Your teeth and tongue? At the last moment, only when you cannot hold it off any more, then swallow it. Now notice any lingering flavours, sensations and thoughts or emotions.

How was it for you?!

Fast food is not only designed to be cooked and served quickly it is also designed to be eaten quickly, it is packed with flavourings designed to give you an instant “hit” of taste (and make you crave more), if you are prone to the craving of fast food (I may, of course, be preaching to the converted here), repeat the above experiment and notice the difference, not that when you eat fast food slowly, the flavour, texture and sensations really aren’t very nice at all…

Practice eating slowly for at least one meal a day, notice how it changes your relationship with food, how your tastes and cravings change, and notice the change in your mechanical eating process and digestion (you will probably notice you feel less bloated, stuffed and get less indigestion) and how that affects your state of mind and energy levels.

Here are my tips for Slow Eating

  1. Sit at a table in a good chair that makes you sit upright, by having a place to eat you ritualise the process and it becomes about eating, not about doing something else and just happening to eat at the same time.
  2. Turn off the TV (see my point above!) – chatting is fine, but don’t have anything that will distract you and put you on automatic eating mode. Be mindful of the food, the texture, taste and thoughts and emotions it promotes.
  3. Chew at least seven time (20 if you can).
  4. Take a small break between each mouthful (don’t wolf it down). Put your knife and fork down, chew the food, only when you have swallowed that mouthful pick up your knife and fork again and take another mouthful.
  5. Stop when you feel approximately 80% full (comfortably full, not stuffed), NOT when the plate is empty (you may find to begin with, you leave quite a lot of food on your plate until you get used to the correct portion size).

Matt

The Deck Chair Diaries Part 4

I have been working away recently (as I often do) and before then I had an attack of the lethargies, where I just sat around and did very little. It reminds me of what the Barefoot Doctor says about comparing procrastination with idling:

“When you are idling you’re following the natural progression from a phase of action to a phase of rest. This is moving with the flow and is good for you as it gives you a chance to rest and recharge. When you are procrastinating, you are blocking that progression by stalling unnaturally…”

It is a subtle difference and one that it takes some skill to recognise. Was my attack of the lethargies a natural transition to a resting state, or was I just being lazy?! Remember, “Slow” isn’t about being slothful or lazy, it is about finding your natural rhythm.

But since returning from my training courses I have been a bit busy catching up on things.

What I have noticed is there is “good” busy and “bad” busy.

Good busy is when I get to move forward on some projects I am working on. I have just procured a 27″ iMac (through a clever bit of bartering, not brand new!), so it means (with additional power, better camera and microphone and much bigger hard drive) I can crack on with some projects that the lack of computer power has caused me to put on hold (my very old MacBook, is really on it’s last legs and held together with tape). Watch this space.

Bad busy is fire fighting, admin and dealing with problems. “Bad” busy does seem to take up most of my time at the moment unfortunately. The real insidious thing I find with “bad” busy, is that this little mind trick that happens to me. I spend some time doing “bad” busy stuff and then my brain goes “right, I have done lots of work today, I can stop now” and I run out of steam before I get to any proactive “good” busy stuff.

I am a Philosopher!

Whilst I was away, I caught up with an old friend of mine Cody (the smartest guy I know. Never get into a debate with him, he will argue, pummel, bully and, if all else fails, mock you into submission). I was discussing with him what I was up to nowadays and how I feel the whole “self help” field is actually too restrictive. I don’t consider myself or what I do as “self help” (being a somewhat of a Wayward Buddhist, I don’t even agree with the concept of self), what I do is a branch of philosophy in the tradition of the Ancient Greeks (particularly Socrates) and Epistemology, In fact what I do is a Practical Philosophy.

I don’t see that as big-headed or pretentious, philosophy used to be very practical, in fact you could argue that philosophy was “self help” before “self help” became “self help” (in fact philosophy was science, psychology and many other things before they split off into separate fields of their own). I want to rescue the term Philosopher from dusty academics and get it back out there as a true profession that adds value to people and the community (actually, I am being a bit mean, Philosophy is still an active subject involved in social governance, it is just often done behind closed doors in think-tanks and committees).

He remarked that he had never met a true Philosopher before and cajoled me to change my profession on my passport. I may not go that far, but that sudden realisation has invigorated me. I am a Philosopher!

It compelled me to write a blog entry on a similar point on my other blog, that you may find interesting. You can read it here.

Right, better get on with it, so I can get on with good busy stuff.

Matt

Be Gentle

I have been working away a lot recently (the reason for few posts, tweets, etc) and whilst I was away I fell spectacularly off the Slow path and found myself thrashing around the undergrowth. A few things went horribly wrong, I got stressed out, I found myself becoming flustered, tense, short-tempered, lethargic and easily distracted. I started to jump from one task to the next without focusing or finishing anything and become utterly unmindful. I would go places and forget what I was doing there.

Basically I was a mess.

And what was worse, much worse, than all of this was when I realised what I was doing I started to beat myself up about getting flustered and stressed. I treated myself rather badly and shouted at myself on several occasions, telling myself to “pull myself together MAN!”

Which didn’t help at all. In fact it made the whole thing worse.

In Taoism, particularly the Taoist martial arts such as Tai Chi, they talk about interacting with things with just 4 ounces of pressure. This, of course, is not a literal measure of pressure required, (there is no need to carry a hygrometer around with you!),it is a metaphorical idea of only using the bare minimum of effort, to be gentle.

It ties in with the principle of Wu Wei, which translates rather paradoxically as the “action of non-action”. It can be described as “going with the flow”, but it is much more than that. It is about acting intelligently and in harmony with the surrounding environment (and with yourself). It is about recognising when and how to act and when to just wait or yield to external forces.

Shouting at myself and getting all worked up because I was not being “slow” enough, really didn’t help at all. If you find yourself getting flustered, unmindful and speeding up, don’t beat yourself up, just gently take a step back, relax and guide your mind back to acting how you would like to feel. If you cannot manage to slow yourself down, don’t panic, just go with it, you will soon be back on the path.

To develop your tortoise mind, you need to be gentle in thought, speech and action. Never apply more than the metaphorical “4 ounces” of pressure.

Matt

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