4 Physical Ways to Slow Down

I talk a lot about cultivating your “tortoise mind”, in fact, one could say it is the raison d’être of this blog. However, really, talking just about the “tortoise mind” is somewhat of a red herring, as our mind and body are intrinsically linked and one affects the other. One of the fastest ways to change your mental state is to make changes with you body.

Below are, after a few years of trial and error,  what I consider the four key steps to using your body to slow down your mind. I have learned these from a variety of sources from Tai Chi, Yoga, The Alexander Technique and The Feldenkrais Method, to name a few.

1. Breathe

One of the most effective ways to control your thoughts and feelings is to control your breath.

Slowing your breathing will slow down your mind; it will stop it from racing around. We rarely pay attention to our breathing, but our breathing is a very powerful tool to control our emotional, mental and physical state.

By focusing on and controlling your breathing, you can calm yourself, focus yourself, and energise yourself. There are lots of different breathing exercises you can learn that can make massive changes to your current state.

The old “stop and take a deep breath” has become a bit of a cliché, but it works!

2. Centre

Finding your centre is essential to being able to breath properly, align your posture, relax and use your biomechanics and energy efficiently. Centring is used in most martial art systems, especially Tai Chi and Aikido (it is sometimes called your Tantien or One-point).

By breathing, moving, and being aware of your centre you will find you will relax more, have more energy and be more in control of your emotions and thoughts.

Your centre is two fingers width below your belly button and about the same inside. So, to find it, take 2 fingers from one hand place them horizontally below your belly button, and with one finger of the other hand, gently press the point directly below your belly button. That is your centre. You will need to be aware of it to breathe, move and stand effectively.

3. Sink

Not collapse, but sinking down into your centre. Sinking is like anchoring yourself, stopping yourself being swept away. The Buddha, when he was still Siddhartha, saw a Brahmin (Indian Holy Man) in a town square and was inspired by the way this person could be “centred in the present moment, without being swept away by it”. This is the power of sinking.

4. Relax

Relaxing, both mentally and physically, correcting your posture so you are utilising only the energy required to do what you need to do. Be gentle, in actions and thoughts.

Learn more about this and much more, by popping over to the “free stuff” page and getting all the juicy and utterly complimentary morsels over there.

Matt

Slow and Minimalism

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

I was reading the other day about Leo Babauta (the public face of minimalism) and Robert Wringham (the editor of  the New Escapologist) only own 50 and 20 things respectively.

I own shit loads of stuff.

And I don’t care.

I never saw slowing down being particularly about minimalism, or jettisoning things. Minimalism, frugality and the Slow philosophy, of course have crossovers, Slow is about reducing waste and utilising things intelligently, it is about quality over quantity (and recently I have very much enjoyed experimenting with frugality and seeing how little I can spend and how long I can go without spending anything. But that is a subject for another post). Not wasting things or avoiding surrounding your self with stuff just to try and fulfil an emotional need are noble and honourable goals to achieve (ones we should all be aiming towards really).

But we have to do it in an intelligent way. It is not about the stuff we have, it is about the relationship with have with that stuff…

Slave to Simplicity

Of course, if you don’t want to burden yourself with physical possessions go for it. But don’t feel like you have to or even should abandon everything you own.

You can easily become a slave to simplicity, jettisoning things because you think you should, out or guilt, or some misguided idea that having lots of possessions is a bad thing, and make yourself very miserable in the process.

Is this better than owning lots of things? Both will make you miserable.

And Slow certainly isn’t about being ascetic or earnest or acting like a flagellant monk (unless you want to, of course).

I may have a lot of “possessions” but I don’t really consider I own anything. It is just stuff I have lying around. I find it makes my life more fun, interesting and enjoyable. At the moment. When they don’t or start “costing” me happiness I will jettison them. Probably.

If I lost all that stuff overnight, I wouldn’t really miss any of it (apart from a handful of possessions), but right now I prefer having it around than not having it around.

You see, it is not the amount of stuff that you have, it is the relationship you have with the stuff that you have got that counts.

Every bit of stuff you own (and that, conversely, owns you) has a cost (in attachment, craving or financial and time cost) and a return (in the GENUINE enrichment that bit of stuff gives you). Obviously the balance should sway towards the more positive enrichment. But so often we get stuff, thinking it will give us pleasure, but ultimately it ends up costing us it instead.

You need to evaluate and change the relationship you have with your stuff. Just jettisoning it will not solve the problem you will end up just craving for it again, feeling miserable (or worse, the pain, craving and desire you feel will turn back on itself and turn you into one of those overly earnest, judgement people. Or, as I like to call them, idiots. Don’t do that, please).

Be mindful about how the stuff you own makes you feel, does it enrich you and your life or are you clinging to it due to some misguided believe that you should, need or have to have it?

Deal with the craving first, the attachments and the emotions that the stuff gives you, and it won’t matter how much or how little you have.

Only then will you truly be free of physical possessions.

Matt

International Day of Slowness

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According to “The Slow Society” yesterday (21st June – the Summer Solstice) was the “International Day of Slowness“. I only just found out about it (what do you expect really? This is about “slow” after all…). It is one of several “International Days of Slowness” I have come across. The great thing about the Slow Movement is that is not organised control or dictated by one central body and is a cultural movement by groups of individuals and organisations around the globe (the Slow Movement is essentially anarchic in it’s approach which is something I like about it), so there are several organisations that exist that promote the Slow Philosophy and each have their own calendars.

It is nice to have a day devoted to something, as the collective focus and energy of all the people involved can have a real effect, but if you missed it (like I did), then there is no need to worry or beat yourself, you can have you own “Personal Day of Slowness” whenever you want.

In fact, isn’t the aim to have a “Day of Slowness” every day anyway? But what I would recommend is to set aside a day every week (or month, or whenever you can manage it for now) to really slow down, almost grind to a halt in fact (isn’t this what Sunday’s used to be? Before our 24 hour, 7 days a week hare-brained culture really took over?)

Robert Wringham in his most recent Escapologists Diary (Escapology and Slow make good bed fellows) discusses a day he recently stayed in due to the rain (you can read it here), which, to me, encompasses an ideal “Slow Day” (although, obviously the content can change to suite your tastes and needs).

So, how to do go about having a slow day? And what do you do in it?

1. “Go Dark”

Switch off your phone, Internet, TV and radio (apart from Radio 3 or some other soothing sounds.). We are bombarded for almost 24 hours a day with news, information and demands. As little as 15 years ago, very few of us had the Internet or mobile phones and we got on perfectly fine. Remind yourself that technology is your servant not your master by switching it all off once in awhile.

2. Go for a Stroll

We think at walking speed, yet life forces us to think and act much, much faster. No wonder we are stressed, flustered and feel under constant pressure to “keep up”. Walking is not only excellent form of idle exercise, it is a way to reconnect with and slow down our thought process, contemplate and ponder. Who knows what ideas you will have or what amazing insights you will uncover.

And whilst you are out and about…

3. Look Around!

Look at the beauty that surrounds you, pay attention to nature, watch the clouds and make shapes in them, really notice the things you look at every day, but rarely see. We only have this moment, yet how often do we truly live in it? How often are lost in a memory or a daydream of the future. Be in the now, this is all there is.

4. Have a Nap

There is nothing more energising for the mind, body and spirit than a quick nap in the afternoon. You know, that lull after lunch where you are not sure what to do next and feel a bit sleepy as your body digests its food. Go one, have a kip…

5. Read a Good Book

How many books have you got on your bookshelf that you have always wanted to read, but somehow never got round to? Pick one, get comfy and lose yourself in it.

A friend once told me that you should always read. If you don’t read you only get to live one lifetime, if you read you live thousands.

6. Cook and Appreciate All the Food You Eat

How often do you heat up pre-prepared food and then wolf it down whilst sat in front of the TV? There is something liberating about cooking your own food from scratch and then taking the time to appreciate it. Own cooked food tastes better and is healthier (and often cheaper to make) than pre-prepared stuff. Take some time to plan your meal, cook it and then sit and eat it at the table, not in front of the TV and really savour it.

If that is a bit too much at this current stage in your slowing down process, then just bake your own bread, it is very simple, cheap and easy to do and incredibly satisfying.

7. Catch up with Old Friends, the Old-fashioned Way

With email, text, instant messenger and facebook it has never been easier to stay in touch with someone. But when was the last time you really connected with your friends? Had a good sit down and a chinwag? Modern technology gives us the illusion of being connected with someone without actually being connected.

So, invite your friends round for a cuppa, go to the pub, drink and be merry, or make a telephone call (from your landline…) if you can’t get to see them face-to-face.

8. Write a Letter

Feeling a bit adventurous? Can’t get hold of your friend right now? They live too far away to pop round? Then write them a letter!

Emails are a great way to send instant messages. They are fine for business or quick bits of organisation or fact finding, but can you put a pressed flower in an email? Can you seal it with a loving kiss? Letters imbue part of the writers soul onto the paper; the effort and ritual of finding some nice paper, a good quality pen and, with your best handwriting, commit your thoughts and feelings to paper gives a letter something an email can never have.

And you can get it delivered anywhere in the country, next day, for less than 50p, or anywhere in the world, in just a few days, for the cost of a pint! Isn’t that great value? Isn’t it worth it?

Of course, these are just suggestions, you may have your own ideas of what you would do on your slow day (and if you tried to do all these things you would be pretty busy!). Really you can do anything, as long the intention is to do it in a Slow way, to be mindful, unflustered and unhurried, to be frugal and use just enough resources (time, energy and money) to do each thing. And to enjoy it! Slow isn’t about being puritanical or pious! To me Slow is mindset that leads to a new lifestyle, do things with the right intention behind it and everything becomes “Slow”.

Matt

The 3 Keys to a Slow and Happy Life

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

One of the reasons I stopped blogging so regularly was because, well, I was running out of things to say.

You see, the Slow life is the simple life is the easy life.

And, so in my quest to become slower, unflustered, uncomplicated and uncluttered, I often found that I was practicing the same things over and over again, getting a bit better each day.

This doesn’t sit too well with the blogging principle, which requires lots of content, regularly.

A lot of blogs I have seen on simple living, minimalism and related topics, are ironically complex (and repetitive) and not really simple or minimal at all! I can only assume that is to try and keep up with the current blogging paradigm of regular content, regardless of quality.

Slow being what it is, if I did a blog every day, or even every week it would soon become repetitive or I would be tempted to over complicate the issue just to give me something to write about.

This is in direct opposition of my personal philosophy of stripping everything, as much as possible, back to its bare bones, by asking the question “what absolutely has to be there?”

Why? Well I am clutter monkey, I tend towards over-complication if I am left to my own devices (I ALWAYS pack to much when I go on holiday!) and it takes a lot of disciple for me to keep things simple (it was one of the reasons I got involved in the Slow movement in the first place).

As Einstein is quoted as having said (whether he actually said it or not I don’t know): “Keep everything as simple as possible, but no simple.”

So in this spirit of simplicity, what are the 3 keys to a slow and happy life?

Well, as I said in my previous post (here), I believe that everything comes from cultivating the slow mindset or “tortoise mind”.

So these 3 keys are the keys to creating your tortoise mind. Once you cultivate them you will find yourself able to more easily embrace the slow life, the minimalist approach and simple living.

1. Mindfulness

This really is the key to slowing down. Life is only happening in the NOW, yet how often do you really pay attention to the present moment? How often are you on autopilot or thinking about what you are doing tonight or tomorrow, or lost in a memory?
How often do you get hung up on things, wave the ride of emotion; panic, fear nervousness?

Learn to embrace the now, to lose your self in the moment, to appreciate the little things:

Really focus on the food your eat and notice the explosion of flavours your often miss, the texture, the sensation, the emotions and memories it conjures up….

When in the shower, focus on the sensation of the water splashing against your skin, the smell of the shower gel…

You get the idea?

2. Gratitude

“Poverty is not the absence of goods but rather the overabundance of desire”

Plato

There is an interesting psychological phenomenon called habitation, which basically means if we see, do, or experience the same thing over and over again, we stop paying attention to it.

This process is what our modern consumer culture relies on. It makes us acutely aware of what we haven’t got and makes subtle changes to “this years model” to keep us wanting the new and exciting versions.

One of the fastest ways to overcome this process is to be consciously grateful for what we have. Every day make a list of at least 10 things you really appreciate in your life, this can be anything from the fact you have a house, to reminding yourself why you bought the car/watch/TV/whatever that your bought (it can be something really simple, basic or seemingly silly, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are grateful for it). Really feel the gratitude. You will find you will become more mindful and crave new things and experiences less and less.

3. Compassion

The final key to a slow and happy life is to be compassionate to our fellow wo/man.

This doesn’t mean being a drip or a push over, it is about recognising that everyone is doing the best with what they have got and making the best decision they can at the time according to the information and criteria they are using (no matter how stupid or annoying, or “wrong” it may seem to you) and that you have done stupid things in your past and will again in the future.

You don’t have to become an over emotional lovey, who runs round hugging everyone one, you just need to forgive people.

It really is that simple, just forgive them.

That will free yourself up of all the stress, anger and rage about things you can do nothing about. Just stop, take a deep breath, say (silently in your own head) “I forgive you” and relax. See how good that makes you feel?

Once you have got the hang of forgiving peoples wrongs (or perceived wrongs!) against you, you will find you will become more patient, mindful and often more polite (which is a very good thing).

So there we have it, the 3 simple keys to slowing down. If you just practice these 3 keys each day, you will find you will be Slower and happier in no time!

Matt

PS, I have added a merchandise and recommended reading list to the “Buy Stuff” page, go check it out.

Make 2010 Your Year for Slowing Down!

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

(Please excuse the brazen “plug” nature of this blog post)

In the spirit of New Years Resolutions, make 2010 your year for slowing down…

If you are serious about slowing down this year and want make certain your succeed, one of the easiest, and most powerful ways is a series of one-to-one coaching sessions.

I will work with you to develop an individual plan for you to start slowing down. A full assessment will be taken of your current situation and then we will work together to help you develop a plan for slowing down.

Throughout the process I will give you all the support and help you need to succeed in your wish to slow down.

To give you idea of the sort of thing that coaching can do, have a look at the process I did for Cosmopolitan Magazine in October 2009. To read the article, go to www.cosmpolitan.co.uk or CLICK HERE.

As a New Year offer, you can book 3 sessions for the price of 2!

Sessions can be carried out over the phone or via skype (which is totall free to install and use and much cheaper than a phone call!), or face to face if you are located in Birmingham or Cardiff, UK. I have worked with people all over the world and sessions can be booked at a time to suite you.

For more information, please go to my coaching page here, or click here to contact me to book a session.

(Here endeth the plug).

Matt

PS, I jumped the gun a bit last week announcing the “Welcome to the Slow Life” eCourse, I have had a few technical hiccups that has slowed(!) the process down, hopefully the first enrolment will start in the next few weeks. To register your interest and get a special “pre-registration” discounted price of $39.99 please click here to contact me putting “Welcome the Slow Life Pre-registration” in the comments box  and I will add you to the list and send you some free goodies!

New Years ReSLOWlutions…

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Well hello and welcome to a new year and a new decade. You may think it is a bit late for a New Years Resolutions blog entry. But I only came back to “work” today, as yesterday was Plough Monday.

Plough Monday

References to Plough Monday date back to the late 15th century, and was the traditional start of the English agricultural (therefore, working) year.

Plough Monday is generally the first Monday after Twelfth Day (Epiphany), 6th January. So, those of you that started work before this day, shame on you! Call yourself an Idler or a follower of Slow?

The day traditionally saw the resumption of work after the Christmas period. A plough was often hauled from house to house in a procession, collecting money. This was often accompanied by musicians, an old woman or a boy dressed as an old woman, called the “Bessie”, and a man in the role of the “fool”. There would be “goose dancing” and considerable drinking and revelry.

The Plough Monday customs (like most cool old traditions) declined in the 19th century with the change to an industrialised society.

Resolutions the Slow Way

Did you managed to slow down your Christmas and eek it out until Epiphany? Or was it as hectic as ever and went the blink of an eye?

Have you made any New Years resolutions? It all seems to be a bit ridiculous really, as the start of each day is technically a start of a New Year, but I have to admit to quite liking the idea of New Year as a time to take stock, reflect and plan ahead. Really that was what the Winter Solstice was initially about and winter is the ideal time to sit back, reflect and plan.

So how do you do resolutions the Slow Way?

1. Be Honest

Do you really want to do it? Or are you just doing it because you think you should? If you really don’t want to do it, you won’t even manage the 1st step! So relax and enjoy yourself.

2. Resolving NOT to do Something?

Unfortunately, we live hectic and busy lives. So trying to add more to it will often mean that you won’t stick to it (the old “last in, first out” principle), so whilst resolving to do some new things, also make sure you resolve NOT to do some things as well. See here for more information on starting your own NOT to do list and click here to download your own, so you can get started straight away!

3. Limit Yourself

Doing too much, will mean you will overwhelm yourself and give in. So do one thing at a time for about 15 minutes a day (if that) and ease into it gently. You will find you will get more done and the changes will last longer than if you try and do it all at once!

Read more about how limiting yourself can make you more productive at Leo Babauta’s excellent blog “Zen Habits” here: www.zenhabits.net

4. Enjoy the Journey

There is nothing worse than aiming for some future goal and having a miserable time trying to achieve it.  Ask yourself “what is the most fun way I can achieve this goal?” (not the quickest). Life is a journey, not a destination…

COMING SOON! “Welcome to the Slow Life” Online eCourse.

Make 2010 your year for slowing down. In keeping with the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions, I am launching a 6-week “Welcome to the Slow Life” eCourse to inspire, guide and support you in your pursuit of a slower life.

Each week you will be emailed a module on a specific topic where you will be given practical tips you can incorporate into your everyday life and exercises and experiments to try out. I hope that at the end of the course you’ll have a new, deeper appreciation of the slow philosophy and a richer, more fulfilling life:

Module 1: Introduction

Module 2: Creating Space to be Slow

Module 3: Mindful Living and Appreciating the Present Moment

Module 4: Slow Wealth

Module 5: Slow Health

Module 6: Bringing it all together and planning your Slow Life

During the 6 weeks of your course, you will access to me via email to ask questions, get clarification or explore a topic in more detail.

You will also receive:

• “Welcome to the Slow Life” eBook and Audiobook
• “Deep Relaxation Primer” Audio Programme
• VERY SPECIAL BONUS: Welcome to the Slow Live – LIVE!!

Enrolment Fee: I am offering a very special rate of $49.99 ($39.99 for pre-registration) for the first run of the course (usual price will be $79.99).

I have to admit, I have got a little over excited and jumped the gun a bit with this announcement, the course isn’t quite ready yet and will be launching very soon.

So, to get a sneak peak and the chance to sign up at a reduced “pre-registration” course ($39.99) fee email me by filling out the contact form here and just put “Welcome to the Slow Life pre-registration” in the message box. I will add your name to the mail list and email you a cool “sneak peak” at the course.

Matt

PS, What are your plans to make 2010 a Slower Year than last year? Leave you comments below…

Bah Humbag: Slowing Down Christmas

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Well, it is December and I have lifted my self imposed Christmas embargo. I refuse to even think about Christmas until now, no matter how much adverts and Tesco try and make me (I am sat here watching Love Actually. It is the one film that cannot fail to make me feel Christmassy!).

I don’t like Christmas. Well, that is not strictly true. I don’t like what Christmas has become. It seems to have become this secular celebration of consumerism.

All people care about is what presents to get, what presents they will receive, what food they need to buy (and, boy, do they buy! It is only 2 days, yet people seem to shop like they will never be allowed to buy food again), it is all spend, spend, spend…

Go and walk around your local high street now and you won’t see much the “season to be jolly” (or much “good will to all (wo)men” for that matter), all you will see is crowds (and crowds, and crowds…) of stressed and angry shoppers shuffling around.

It is ridiculous, and about as far removed from the original meaning of Christmas as we can get…

What is Christmas? Really?

What are the ancient roots of Christmas and the festivities that surround it?

Well, I am sure you are all aware of the song “12 Days of Christmas’”…

“Fiiiiiiiiiiivvvveeeee Gooooooolllllldddd Riiiiiinnnnggssss….” And all that.

That was because Christmas would last 12 whole days! It would start on the 25th December and finish on the 6th January (12th Night). Originally Christmas Day was celebrated on January 6th, when presents were given in honour of Saint Nicholas (the forefather of Father Christmas).

It was a time of merriment, feasting and general festivity (but still a holy day, with 3 masses on 25th December to start the ball rolling), with plays, processions and merry-making. It was not the family orientated affair we know today, but a celebration that involved the whole community.

Christmas (or Yule, or Christmastide, or the festival of Epiphany, or the Winter Solstice!) was a time of revelry, of community spirit, of celebration and feasting that lasted days (some sources say they started in November!), ending on 12th Night, or the Feast of Epiphany on the 6th January. It combined pre-Christian traditions and Christian elements to give thanks and distract ourselves from the cold, dark winters…

The Christmas We Know Today

The Christmas we know today (with the 2 days – Christmas Day and Boxing Day) was really an invention of those lovers of speed; the Victorians, to reduce the festive period into a manageable 2-day holiday so we could all get back to work as soon as possible (this was in the midst of the Industrial revolution).

However the rot set in a long time before those harebrained Victorians got their mitts on Christmas, around the time of Reformation, when Martin Luther created the Protestant Church (and the gave name to the dreaded “Protestant Work Ethic”) and started to cull the Pre-Reformation holidays and festivals as they deemed them “hedonistic” and “superstitious” (Christmas was even BANNED in Britain in 1647).

The blueprint for the modern Christmas celebrations was laid down in Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” (thanks Charley), with the idea of the one-day of feasting and celebration (Boxing day wasn’t traditionally classed as holiday unitl 1871, when the Bank Holidays Act in the UK was designated a Bank Holiday). It is suggested that Dickens (being a popular author of the time) was unofficially employed to do a bit of PR job on the new, shorter Christmas celebrations, as the workers were somewhat reticent of giving up their festivities (and who can blame them?).

Because of the truncated nature of the celebration and the fact that people were moving into the cities and away from the traditional village community, the onus moved away from the community as whole and focused much more just on the family (remember, most families all lived under one roof back then…).

When you describe Christmas like that, and discover the modern celebrations cynical roots, can you see why I am not a huge fan?!

How Can You Slow Down Christmas?

“We’re all dreaming of a pre-Reformation Christmas, when the festival really did last twelve days and during which time work and trade were forbidden, and instead we all danced, sang, ate, drank and generally made extremely merry. The sour-faced Parliamentarians of the Cromwell state actually tried to ban Christmas altogether, considering it Popish, old-fashioned and far too much fun. Luckily Charles II brought it back in 1660 and the medieval spirit of Christmas has survived.” - Tom Hodgkinson

The fact is, we are going to celebrate Christmas aren’t we? And why shouldn’t we?! I am not against Christmas as festival, I am just not too comfortable with it as the modern celebration of consumerism and speed that it has become.

Christmas should be a little bit of a revolt against the increasing pressure and stress of work and the consumer society and, in my humble opinion, the old Pre-Reformation celebrations were a much “Slower” than our current ones.

The idea here is to introduce (or re-introduce) some of the Pre-Reformation intentions that you may find will reduce you Christmas stress and turn it back into a time for you to enjoy!

1) Celebrate the full 12 Days!

Try and plan to do something for the full 12 days, rather than rushing to get everything done in the 2 days we have allotted to us. The time between Christmas and New Year is often a bit of an empty space and we are not sure what do to with ourselves. Well by celebrating the full 12 days you can use that time to catch up with friends and family at a more leisurely pace.

There are still some organisations that shut between Christmas and New Year (and good on them!), but if not, you can still do something in that time.

2) Go carol singing (or Wassailing as it was traditionally known)

Ancient carol singing was a bit of a rowdy affair, where people would go from house to house and sing and be offered alcohol by the inhabitants. I am not suggesting you go and harass your neighbours for booze, but a spot of drinking and singing does wonders to lift the spirits!

3) Don’t bow to pressure to do things that are “expected” of you

Christmas is a time for celebration not “duty”, if you don’t enjoy it at the rest of the year, why do it now?  Spend it with people you really want to, not people you think you should.

4) Buy gifts that mean something, not that cost the earth

The giving of presents seems to have become the central tenant of the modern Christmas with people stressing and panicking about what to buy people and often going into debt to pay for it.  Don’t buy pointless gifts just because you think you should, take some time to consider what that person would really appreciate and it (or make it!) for them. Presents don’t need to be expensive to be good.

5) Don’t go shopping

The internet is a godsend for this. You can do all your Christmas shopping from the comfort of your own sofa without needing to go out and face the hordes (unless fighting your way through crowds of angry shoppers makes you feel Christmassy).

6) The thorny issue of Christmas Cards

Hand written? Electronic? Don’t bother? Every year we seem to have to send cards to more and more people; work colleagues, neighbours (who we often don’t even know the name of), distant relatives we can barely remember. It gets more and more expensive, it is strain on the poor postal service and all that paper is hardly good for the planet (even if it is recycled or from a sustainable source).  I like the idea that seems to have sprung up of recent years (at least with people I know), and that is to donate the money you would have spent on cards to charity and then just send a generic email telling everyone that is what you have done. Of course, still send cards to people who are close to you!

7) Give something to the community

Boxing day got its name from giving gifts (or Christmas “boxes” to the poor) and Christmas was traditionally a time for community. So why not give something back? You can do anything you want from giving a donation to a charity (see the suggestion about Christmas cards), to getting more involved in something, it is up to you. Giving something back honours the Christmas spirit and will make you feel surprisingly good!

This is will probably be my last post of 2009. So I wish a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (and, in fact, the new decade) and I will see you in the 2010.

Matt

PS, If you liked this post, please bookmark it on Digg, Stumbled Upon, Twitter, etc. I would really appreciate it

The ideal Christmas Present for the Harebrained person:

Your Own “NOT to Do” List

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

The slow life is the simple life is the easy life. Yet we often find we clutter up our lives with things we don’t want or need to do.

A way of releasing yourself from these habits is to do a “NOT to Do” list. I wrote about what it is and how you can do it in this post here. But, for your ease and convenience, I have created this pdf “NOT to Do” list for you!

You can download it and print it out and stick to your notice board/fridge/computer screen/wherever, for ease of reference.

Click on the thumbnail below to download it.

How To Do a ‘NOT To Do’ List?

As a reminder, here is how I suggest you do your list, but feel free to do it how you want.

1) Listing things you never intended to do in the first place can act as catalyst to get you going.

2) Then, begin with things that you feel you should do, never do and then beat yourself up about not doing.

3) List things you are doing now, but you are not sure why. You probably have lots of habits that have just developed over the years that no longer really have any reasonable function; you just do them because you have always done them. Not sure if it should be on the list? Put it on for a week and see if you miss it, if you last a week, leave it there for a month, if after a month you still haven’t needed to do or missed it, put it on forever.

4) Your “not to do” list is not a place to shirk responsibility, or list things you need to do. Don’t put ‘”pay my credit card bills” on the list for example!

5) Then of course, it frees up time and energy (and, often, money too) to do the things you actually want to do…

Matt

PS, If you liked this post, please bookmark it on Digg, Stumbled Upon, Twitter, etc. I would really appreciate it

The Overflowing Teacup

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

“Once, a university professor went to visit a Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked continuously about Zen, his thoughts, his ideas, his understands and his questions… As he spoke the master poured the visitor’s cup to the brim, but then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself “It’s full! No more will go in!” the professor blurted. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup.”"

I am, I have to admit, a terrible “grass is greener” sort of person. I have always been afraid I am missing out on something…

And, I have very broad interests, because of this I am easily (very easily) distracted, and can spend hours thinking about or researching (the internet can really be a curse) something completely irrelevant that I will forget about almost as soon as I have learned it.

I often feel like my teacup is flowing over and I can’t fit any more in. So I end up scattered and, to quote Bilbo Baggins “I feel… thin. Sort of stretched, like… butter scraped over too much bread…”

Which is not really the “Slow Way” (or if you are trying to sound all pretentious, you could be all faux Eastern, mystic and say the “Tao of Slow…”).

In fact, one of the things that first attracted me to the Slow movement and the Idle philosophy was the idea that I could reduce my field of interest. It showed me that I don’t need to know, do or try everything. That I am not really missing out on something if I am not at the forefront of it, if I don’t know everything about it with five minutes.

(I tell you, I am marketers dreams…)

But how do you practically stop yourself from doing this? How do you start to cut back on your fields of interest, of reducing your desire (addiction?) to the new, the fresh, the exciting, the smell of the grass over the fence?

How do you start limiting yourself?

The ‘Not Reading’ List

Ironically, I started limiting myself many years ago, before I had even heard of the Slow movement or before I even realised that I really, really needed to.

When I was at school I was told I was “word blind” (whatever that is?) and that I wouldn’t able to read very well (nothing like a nice positive suggestion is there??), so I hated reading, I was slow and it would take me weeks to read something that other people would read in a day.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I left school and thought “Stuff ‘em, if I want to read, I will read!” and started devouring books (I was – and still am – a slow reader, but at least I was motivated to try and read).

I fell in love with books, but soon found that (because I read slowly), if I just rushed to read a book just for the sake of reading that book, I wouldn’t retain any information and it was a pointless waste of time.

I realised I was probably not going to be able to read every book I wanted (or felt I should) and that I needed some form of plan.

At that point I started a ‘NOT Reading’ list and listed books I had no intention of ever reading:

Number one on the list was Gulliver’s Travels.

Number two was anything by Stephen King.

It was of course a dynamic list and I have since read some of the books I had placed on that list (I put “3 Men and Boat” on there as a bit of a knee jerk reaction, because someone kept pestering me that I should read it…), but the sense of relief I got from the decision not to read a book (and stopping beating myself up about having not got round to it) outweighed the gnawing sensation that I was missing out on something…

I still buy too many books. But there you go…

Anyway, I used this same principle to begin a ‘NOT to Do’ list…

The ‘NOT To Do’ List

Since getting into Slow and embracing its philosophy I have expanded this idea to write a ‘NOT To Do List’, things I never intend to do. Ever.

Number one on the list was “Extreme Sports”. There seems to be an odd belief that to “live life to the full” you need to have bungee jumped off a high bridge in Africa or other such pastimes. I spent most of my teens hanging around with these extreme sports guys, doing climbing and white water canoeing and such. And I hated every minute of it (other than the climbing – see my obituary of John Bachar here). It just scared me silly (it was only years later that I discovered the principle of high and low acting arousal systems and found out why I was so scared when everyone else seemed to love it.)

So when I decided to develop my NOT to do list that went straight at number one.

Number Two was backpacking (or “travelling” if you are more of a pretentious ilk). For years I felt like I had missed out on something because I didn’t go travelling when I was younger (it was besides the point I didn’t fancy the idea of cheap flights and fleapit hostels), and always thought I should do it.

Once I added those two to the list I felt an immense sense of relief. I managed to shrug off 2 massive hang-ups that I had.

Then I was on a role!

(Not that I am saying you shouldn’t be doing those, I am just using them as an illustration of things I have added to my not to do list and why. You may love extreme sports and backpacking. In which case, go for your like!).

Recently I have added Internet Forums to the list  (I just can’t cope with all the bickering) and I am seriously thinking about adding Twitter. I don’t get it and I can’t be bothered and it stresses me out because I feel I should be on twitter (because everyone else is, right? See, how this works?).

Tim Ferriss calls this “selective ignorance”, he uses it mainly in the context of information overload and doesn’t read papers and only checks his email once a week (I am still developing my slow email strategy – I will write about it once I have it sorted-ish).

Sherlock Holmes, that famous fictional detective, was well known for having very little “general knowledge” and avoided anything that didn’t directly effect (or is that ‘affect’? I am never sure) what he is currently working on. Although he knew a lot (he is often considered a polymath), he only knew it in the context of what he needed it for (I am not suggesting you be this strict with yourself!)

How do you start your ‘NOT To Do’ List?

Easy. But it does take a bit soul searching and discipline; you have to be honest with yourself.

I highly recommend you treat your ‘Not To Do’ list in the exactly the same way as a ‘To Do’ list: Write it down. Not on a scrap of paper, but in a decent notebook (so you won’t lose it). I also add a date and a reason why (some things I have added to my list I have come back to years later and can’t remember why I added them in the first place).

So, what do you put your list?

Well, listing things you never intended to do in the first place can act as catalyst to get you going, but it does seem a bit pointless if you have already, resolutely, made up your mind you are not going to do it. I could add “join the BNP” to my list if I wanted, but that seems rather daft…

So, begin with things that you feel you should do (see the “dreaded shoulds” here), these are often the things we struggle with in a our daily lives, never really get round to doing (because you don’t really want to do it), but they seem to gnaw await at you, you get a nagging feeling you ought do them…

Then start listing things you are doing now just for the sake of. You probably have lots of habits that have just developed over the years that no longer really have any reasonable function, you just do them because you have always done them.

Not sure if it should be on the list? Put it on for a week and see if you miss it, if you last a week, leave it there for a month, if after a month you still haven’t needed to do or missed it, put it on forever.

You see, the idea of a good ‘NOT To Do’ list, is to start cutting back on what you are doing now as well as resolving not to do new (irrelevant) things.

Then of course, it frees up time and energy (and, often, money too) to do the things you actually want to do, but we will talk about that next time…

Matt

Saint Monday Coaching and The Tai Chi Guy

Hello,

Just a shortish post to let you know what I have been up to.

Saint Monday Coaching

Firstly I have a new coaching practice in Cardiff, South Wales, where I will be doing coaching and teaching (one to one at the moment) Tai Chi and Meditation/mindfulness.

I will still be doing telephone and Skype sessions for people who cannot meet face to face, so don’t worry, but if you do want face-to-face sessions and can get to Cardiff, it would be great to see you there!

I will be seeing clients on a Monday between 3pm and 9pm (I have dubbed it my “Saint Monday Coaching Practice”!) at:
Associated Contemporary Therapists LTD
53 The Parade
Roathe
Cardiff
CF24 3AB
www.actcardiff.co.uk

The coaching page will be updated as soon as I can (I am away for the next month and off doing trainings, so I may not get the chance to do it until I get back). If you or anyone you know may be interested, either give the coaching page a read to find out more about what I do, or feel free to contact me by clicking here.

The Tai Chi Guy

I have been meaning for awhile (well since I started this blog to be honest) to write a post waxing lyrical about my addiction to the magical art of Tai Chi. I have been doing martial arts for over 20 years and I have been Tai Chi for 10 years of that and been teaching martial arts since 1999 (Tai Chi since 2007).

I will be adding details about Tai Chi and how you can learn it very soon, until then check out my dedicated Tai Chi site at www.thetaichiguy.co.uk

So, rather than doing a post here about Tai Chi, I have set up a specific blog about my adventures:

Confessions of a Tai Chi Addict

If you are interested in learning more about Tai Chi (and my often idiosyncratic take on the subject) please check it out. It is in it’s early stages at the moment, so I haven’t added any RSS or anything yet, but things will be added soon(ish).

I think that is about it, I will be back next time chatting more about Slow Blogging and my Slow Blogging Manifesto. When I get round to it.

Now if you will excuse me, all this talk about Tai Chi has put me in the mood to wave my arms around a bit…

Matt

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