Make 2010 Your Year for Slowing Down!

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

(Please excuse the brazen “plug” nature of this blog post)

In the spirit of New Years Resolutions, make 2010 your year for slowing down…

If you are serious about slowing down this year and want make certain your succeed, one of the easiest, and most powerful ways is a series of one-to-one coaching sessions.

I will work with you to develop an individual plan for you to start slowing down. A full assessment will be taken of your current situation and then we will work together to help you develop a plan for slowing down.

Throughout the process I will give you all the support and help you need to succeed in your wish to slow down.

To give you idea of the sort of thing that coaching can do, have a look at the process I did for Cosmopolitan Magazine in October 2009. To read the article, go to www.cosmpolitan.co.uk or CLICK HERE.

As a New Year offer, you can book 3 sessions for the price of 2!

Sessions can be carried out over the phone or via skype (which is totall free to install and use and much cheaper than a phone call!), or face to face if you are located in Birmingham or Cardiff, UK. I have worked with people all over the world and sessions can be booked at a time to suite you.

For more information, please go to my coaching page here, or click here to contact me to book a session.

(Here endeth the plug).

Matt

PS, I jumped the gun a bit last week announcing the “Welcome to the Slow Life” eCourse, I have had a few technical hiccups that has slowed(!) the process down, hopefully the first enrolment will start in the next few weeks. To register your interest and get a special “pre-registration” discounted price of $39.99 please click here to contact me putting “Welcome the Slow Life Pre-registration” in the comments box  and I will add you to the list and send you some free goodies!

New Years ReSLOWlutions…

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

Well hello and welcome to a new year and a new decade. You may think it is a bit late for a New Years Resolutions blog entry. But I only came back to “work” today, as yesterday was Plough Monday.

Plough Monday

References to Plough Monday date back to the late 15th century, and was the traditional start of the English agricultural (therefore, working) year.

Plough Monday is generally the first Monday after Twelfth Day (Epiphany), 6th January. So, those of you that started work before this day, shame on you! Call yourself an Idler or a follower of Slow?

The day traditionally saw the resumption of work after the Christmas period. A plough was often hauled from house to house in a procession, collecting money. This was often accompanied by musicians, an old woman or a boy dressed as an old woman, called the “Bessie”, and a man in the role of the “fool”. There would be “goose dancing” and considerable drinking and revelry.

The Plough Monday customs (like most cool old traditions) declined in the 19th century with the change to an industrialised society.

Resolutions the Slow Way

Did you managed to slow down your Christmas and eek it out until Epiphany? Or was it as hectic as ever and went the blink of an eye?

Have you made any New Years resolutions? It all seems to be a bit ridiculous really, as the start of each day is technically a start of a New Year, but I have to admit to quite liking the idea of New Year as a time to take stock, reflect and plan ahead. Really that was what the Winter Solstice was initially about and winter is the ideal time to sit back, reflect and plan.

So how do you do resolutions the Slow Way?

1. Be Honest

Do you really want to do it? Or are you just doing it because you think you should? If you really don’t want to do it, you won’t even manage the 1st step! So relax and enjoy yourself.

2. Resolving NOT to do Something?

Unfortunately, we live hectic and busy lives. So trying to add more to it will often mean that you won’t stick to it (the old “last in, first out” principle), so whilst resolving to do some new things, also make sure you resolve NOT to do some things as well. See here for more information on starting your own NOT to do list and click here to download your own, so you can get started straight away!

3. Limit Yourself

Doing too much, will mean you will overwhelm yourself and give in. So do one thing at a time for about 15 minutes a day (if that) and ease into it gently. You will find you will get more done and the changes will last longer than if you try and do it all at once!

Read more about how limiting yourself can make you more productive at Leo Babauta’s excellent blog “Zen Habits” here: www.zenhabits.net

4. Enjoy the Journey

There is nothing worse than aiming for some future goal and having a miserable time trying to achieve it.  Ask yourself “what is the most fun way I can achieve this goal?” (not the quickest). Life is a journey, not a destination…

COMING SOON! “Welcome to the Slow Life” Online eCourse.

Make 2010 your year for slowing down. In keeping with the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions, I am launching a 6-week “Welcome to the Slow Life” eCourse to inspire, guide and support you in your pursuit of a slower life.

Each week you will be emailed a module on a specific topic where you will be given practical tips you can incorporate into your everyday life and exercises and experiments to try out. I hope that at the end of the course you’ll have a new, deeper appreciation of the slow philosophy and a richer, more fulfilling life:

Module 1: Introduction

Module 2: Creating Space to be Slow

Module 3: Mindful Living and Appreciating the Present Moment

Module 4: Slow Wealth

Module 5: Slow Health

Module 6: Bringing it all together and planning your Slow Life

During the 6 weeks of your course, you will access to me via email to ask questions, get clarification or explore a topic in more detail.

You will also receive:

• “Welcome to the Slow Life” eBook and Audiobook
• “Deep Relaxation Primer” Audio Programme
• VERY SPECIAL BONUS: Welcome to the Slow Live – LIVE!!

Enrolment Fee: I am offering a very special rate of $49.99 ($39.99 for pre-registration) for the first run of the course (usual price will be $79.99).

I have to admit, I have got a little over excited and jumped the gun a bit with this announcement, the course isn’t quite ready yet and will be launching very soon.

So, to get a sneak peak and the chance to sign up at a reduced “pre-registration” course ($39.99) fee email me by filling out the contact form here and just put “Welcome to the Slow Life pre-registration” in the message box. I will add your name to the mail list and email you a cool “sneak peak” at the course.

Matt

PS, What are your plans to make 2010 a Slower Year than last year? Leave you comments below…

The Overflowing Teacup

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

“Once, a university professor went to visit a Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked continuously about Zen, his thoughts, his ideas, his understands and his questions… As he spoke the master poured the visitor’s cup to the brim, but then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself “It’s full! No more will go in!” the professor blurted. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup.”"

I am, I have to admit, a terrible “grass is greener” sort of person. I have always been afraid I am missing out on something…

And, I have very broad interests, because of this I am easily (very easily) distracted, and can spend hours thinking about or researching (the internet can really be a curse) something completely irrelevant that I will forget about almost as soon as I have learned it.

I often feel like my teacup is flowing over and I can’t fit any more in. So I end up scattered and, to quote Bilbo Baggins “I feel… thin. Sort of stretched, like… butter scraped over too much bread…”

Which is not really the “Slow Way” (or if you are trying to sound all pretentious, you could be all faux Eastern, mystic and say the “Tao of Slow…”).

In fact, one of the things that first attracted me to the Slow movement and the Idle philosophy was the idea that I could reduce my field of interest. It showed me that I don’t need to know, do or try everything. That I am not really missing out on something if I am not at the forefront of it, if I don’t know everything about it with five minutes.

(I tell you, I am marketers dreams…)

But how do you practically stop yourself from doing this? How do you start to cut back on your fields of interest, of reducing your desire (addiction?) to the new, the fresh, the exciting, the smell of the grass over the fence?

How do you start limiting yourself?

The ‘Not Reading’ List

Ironically, I started limiting myself many years ago, before I had even heard of the Slow movement or before I even realised that I really, really needed to.

When I was at school I was told I was “word blind” (whatever that is?) and that I wouldn’t able to read very well (nothing like a nice positive suggestion is there??), so I hated reading, I was slow and it would take me weeks to read something that other people would read in a day.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I left school and thought “Stuff ‘em, if I want to read, I will read!” and started devouring books (I was – and still am – a slow reader, but at least I was motivated to try and read).

I fell in love with books, but soon found that (because I read slowly), if I just rushed to read a book just for the sake of reading that book, I wouldn’t retain any information and it was a pointless waste of time.

I realised I was probably not going to be able to read every book I wanted (or felt I should) and that I needed some form of plan.

At that point I started a ‘NOT Reading’ list and listed books I had no intention of ever reading:

Number one on the list was Gulliver’s Travels.

Number two was anything by Stephen King.

It was of course a dynamic list and I have since read some of the books I had placed on that list (I put “3 Men and Boat” on there as a bit of a knee jerk reaction, because someone kept pestering me that I should read it…), but the sense of relief I got from the decision not to read a book (and stopping beating myself up about having not got round to it) outweighed the gnawing sensation that I was missing out on something…

I still buy too many books. But there you go…

Anyway, I used this same principle to begin a ‘NOT to Do’ list…

The ‘NOT To Do’ List

Since getting into Slow and embracing its philosophy I have expanded this idea to write a ‘NOT To Do List’, things I never intend to do. Ever.

Number one on the list was “Extreme Sports”. There seems to be an odd belief that to “live life to the full” you need to have bungee jumped off a high bridge in Africa or other such pastimes. I spent most of my teens hanging around with these extreme sports guys, doing climbing and white water canoeing and such. And I hated every minute of it (other than the climbing – see my obituary of John Bachar here). It just scared me silly (it was only years later that I discovered the principle of high and low acting arousal systems and found out why I was so scared when everyone else seemed to love it.)

So when I decided to develop my NOT to do list that went straight at number one.

Number Two was backpacking (or “travelling” if you are more of a pretentious ilk). For years I felt like I had missed out on something because I didn’t go travelling when I was younger (it was besides the point I didn’t fancy the idea of cheap flights and fleapit hostels), and always thought I should do it.

Once I added those two to the list I felt an immense sense of relief. I managed to shrug off 2 massive hang-ups that I had.

Then I was on a role!

(Not that I am saying you shouldn’t be doing those, I am just using them as an illustration of things I have added to my not to do list and why. You may love extreme sports and backpacking. In which case, go for your like!).

Recently I have added Internet Forums to the list  (I just can’t cope with all the bickering) and I am seriously thinking about adding Twitter. I don’t get it and I can’t be bothered and it stresses me out because I feel I should be on twitter (because everyone else is, right? See, how this works?).

Tim Ferriss calls this “selective ignorance”, he uses it mainly in the context of information overload and doesn’t read papers and only checks his email once a week (I am still developing my slow email strategy – I will write about it once I have it sorted-ish).

Sherlock Holmes, that famous fictional detective, was well known for having very little “general knowledge” and avoided anything that didn’t directly effect (or is that ‘affect’? I am never sure) what he is currently working on. Although he knew a lot (he is often considered a polymath), he only knew it in the context of what he needed it for (I am not suggesting you be this strict with yourself!)

How do you start your ‘NOT To Do’ List?

Easy. But it does take a bit soul searching and discipline; you have to be honest with yourself.

I highly recommend you treat your ‘Not To Do’ list in the exactly the same way as a ‘To Do’ list: Write it down. Not on a scrap of paper, but in a decent notebook (so you won’t lose it). I also add a date and a reason why (some things I have added to my list I have come back to years later and can’t remember why I added them in the first place).

So, what do you put your list?

Well, listing things you never intended to do in the first place can act as catalyst to get you going, but it does seem a bit pointless if you have already, resolutely, made up your mind you are not going to do it. I could add “join the BNP” to my list if I wanted, but that seems rather daft…

So, begin with things that you feel you should do (see the “dreaded shoulds” here), these are often the things we struggle with in a our daily lives, never really get round to doing (because you don’t really want to do it), but they seem to gnaw await at you, you get a nagging feeling you ought do them…

Then start listing things you are doing now just for the sake of. You probably have lots of habits that have just developed over the years that no longer really have any reasonable function, you just do them because you have always done them.

Not sure if it should be on the list? Put it on for a week and see if you miss it, if you last a week, leave it there for a month, if after a month you still haven’t needed to do or missed it, put it on forever.

You see, the idea of a good ‘NOT To Do’ list, is to start cutting back on what you are doing now as well as resolving not to do new (irrelevant) things.

Then of course, it frees up time and energy (and, often, money too) to do the things you actually want to do, but we will talk about that next time…

Matt

Nice Guys Finish Last? BBC Radio Five Live

(Firstly, my apologies for not posting for a few days, things have been conspiring against me!)

On Monday night, I appeared on the Richard Bacon Show on BBC Radio Five Live discussing a new piece of research that nice people, on average, earn £1500 less a year. You can read the rather dubious news story here. I haven’t been able to get hold of the original study, but the piece in the paper seems to have taken a few “creative” leaps to spin it into a news story. Nowhere, in the personality type section do they mention the word “nasty”, so I doubt the research has much validity in the nasty/nice argument.

However, as long term readers now, I am a it of stickler for manners (you can listen to my podcast – and the read the transcript – about it here) and think that manners are an essential part of the tortoise (slow) mindset and behaviour.

So I was more than happy to go on and fly the flag for manners on the radio!

You can listen to the programme here (UK readers only I am afraid, I will attempt to get a copy to release as a podcast soon). The section begins at about the 51 minute mark.

Be back tomorrow (hopefully!),

Matt Caulfield

Slow Living Consultant

Life is Journey, Not a Destination

“A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu.

The problem with our goal/success/achievement driven society is that we spend so much time fixating on the goal that we miss the process.

Whenever I have something I want to achieve (and Slow is not about NOT achieving things that you want), once I have defined my goal I always ask myself, “What is the most fun way?”.

It may not be the quickest way, but at least I enjoy getting there! And by picking the most fun way, you are much more likely to “succeed” as you are enjoying yourself so much on the way you keep going, rather than struggling, hating every minute of it and giving up!

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Your Slow Hour

The one key thing to remember about Slowing Down is to not do it too fast! You need to slow down slowly…

If you try and do too much all at once (as we have a tendency and conditioning to do in our hare-brained society) you will just become overwhelmed and end up giving up on slowing down and go back to your old fast life (it is often why we fail to make any changes in our lives; we try and do too much all at once)

It is much better to do one thing at a time to slow down and build up gradually, but one way to introduce more than one change easily is to do a daily (or weekly, or monthly depending on your timescale) Slow Hour. If you can’t do a whole hour, start with a Slow Five Minutes and build up from there.

So, what do you do in this Slow Hour? Well you introduce the key elements of slowing down such as:

1. Relax

Take a few minutes to relax and de-stress yourself, do a few relaxation exercises, for an excellent exercise try my “deep relaxation primer” audio programme.

2. Breath!

Focusing on, drawing your attention to and regulating your breathing is one of the best ways to relax, become more mindful and therefore slow down! There are dozens, if not hundreds of different breathing exercises that you can learn, I often recommend a simple full breath, counting to 7 on the in-breath and 11 on the out-breath. For more details click here listen to this SlowCast.

3. Be Mindful

Do everything you do in this hour with 100% focus and attention, pay attention and be mindful. If you find your mind wandering, just slowly draw your attention back to what you are doing. To help return your attention to the task in hand, focus on your breathing, take a few deep breaths, scan your body for tension, adjust your posture (if needed), relax and return to the task in hand.

4. Single-task

Avoid multitasking and do one thing at a time. With everything that you do in this hour, don’t allow yourself to be distracted or interrupted. Being mindful will help you to be more single-task orientated and by single tasking you will be surprised hoe much more you actually get done.

5. Do something Slow that you want to do!

Turn off the TV (unless, of course, you want to watch a classic movie) and do something slow that you have wanted to do for ages. Maybe read a book, bake bread, paint, learn to play a musical instrument…

And Finally

6. Be Gentle!

Remember the Taoist principle of “four ounces”; everything you touch you should not apply more than four ounces of pressure to it. Now, this is obviously a metaphor and doesn’t mean using exactly four ounces! It is about being gentle, both physically and psychologically. Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself being distracted or agitated or interrupted during your slow hour. Just relax, refocus on your breathing and carry on. You will always have the next Slow Hour.

You will find, very quickly (!) that if you do this regularly for an hour a day, soon an hour wont be enough and you will want to spend two hours a day being slow, then three and you will also find you will be more spontaneously slow even when you are not “meant” to, you will find yourself being more focused, less stressed and being able to do one thing at a time rather letting your attention scatter…

Give it a go over the weekend and see how you get on!

Want to learn more? Check out the “Welcome to the Slow Life” audio programme.

I will be back on Tuesday
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Slow Travel – The “Send a Postcard” Campaign

I was reading in a Sunday newspaper and in the travel section there were some  interviews with some “celebrities” about their holiday and if they would be sending postcard. Sadly, most of them said they would not.

Which got me thinking, with text messages, email, twitter, facebook updates and all the other immediate ways of making contact the humble letter is dying a death. When was the last time you wrote a letter (that wasn’t work related!)? I even know people who have succumbed to sending ecards for birthdays and special occasions (I have to admit to have done it once or twice…).

And one of the biggest losses in this day and age of instant messaging is the humble postcard.

Not only is a postcard a much nicer thing to get from someone on holiday than a text message or an email, it keeps our ailing postal services alive.  So, today, I am launching the “send a postcard” campaign.

When you go on holiday this year, send a postcard to someone…anyone!

Go on, you know you want to, it costs pennies/cents and it means so much more than a soulless text and it is more fun!

Join the “send a postcard” campaign, lets combine Slow Travel with Slow Writing. Tell all your friends, send them this post, and encourage everyone to send at least one postcard this summer. Tell me about it on the comments page or post a picture of your postcard to my facebook or twitter page!

I may even throw in a prize to the person who sends the best, most fun or original postcard…

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Idle Accessories 2: Komboloi

Komboloi are Greek worry beads, used to relieve stress and generally pass the time.

My girlfriend brought me back a set of Komboloi about 7 years ago from Greece. Since then I have almost been inseparable from them. I can get quite fidgety at times, especially if I am nervous or bored or somewhere where I don’t want to be. I have found Komboloi are an excellent focus for that tendency to fidget and help calm me down and stop me from getting bored or distracted.

Komboloi worry beads resemble prayer beads, but, unlike them, bear no religious significance. They are merely an instrument of relaxation and stress management.

I have recommended komboloi to people who want to limit or stop smoking and it seems to be very effective. They are also good for swatting flies…

But mainly they are just a great way to pass the time!

You don’t need to go all the way to Greece to get a set and can order them over the internet for a few dollars…

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Slow Reading

When I was at school, at about the age of nine, I was told that I was “word blind”, “word blindness” (apparently) is a bit like dyslexia (why is dyslexia such a hard word to spell? And whilst I am on the subject, why is abbreviation such a long word and why isn’t phonetically spelled phonetically? Language is an odd thing when you think about it…), but rather than jumbling up letters in words, I found it difficult to process the order of whole words (which is why, sometimes, on this blog I will leave words out and not notice – sorry!). Because of this, I had to concentrate on each individual word when reading, rather than processing chunks of words all together (which is what most people do, whether they are aware of it or not. It is why newspaper columns are a certain width, so that you can scan down it easily and quickly without having to move you eyes from right to left).

This meant I read incredibly slowly (compared to other people). But rather than savouring this fact, I rushed reading, to try and keep up with everyone else. Which meant that I found reading incredibly frustrating and my recall of what I read was rubbish!

The sad thing was I loved the idea of reading, but found it a struggle, so I would buy dozens of books and then try and read them all at once, get frustrated and then not read anything for ages!

So, when I starting getting into the personal development field I spent a small fortune on courses and books and DVD’s and CD’s that were meant to increase my reading speed. None of them worked, they just made me more frustrated and demotivated.

And the internet just made things worse! Not only did I have books, magazines and newspapers, I now had blogs, websites and news feeds!!

Luckily I stumbled across the Slow movement and realised this yearning for speed reading was what was causing the frustration and if I just relaxed and read at my natural speed I would enjoy reading, recall more and (ironically) get more read!

But, of course, we are bombarded by information day in day out, often in written form and if we always read slowly we would never get through the mountain of paperwork.

Well, remember Tempo Guisto. Slow is not about doing everything slowly it is about finding the right speed.

And this relates to reading a lot. Some things we can just scan, others dip in and out of and some deserve our full attention.

One of the reasons I discovered that I found reading so frustrating was I tried to read everything in the same detail. Whether that was a novel, a newspaper article or a text book…

So, because of my word blindness I have been in a position where I have had to develop a reading strategy. This (like everything else) is an ongoing process. But here is what I have developed so far:

You cannot read everything you want to. To try just causes frustration.

This was the number one and most important realisation that I had. It sounds obvious, but how many of you are drowning under 2 weeks worth of old newspapers and piles of books you will get round to reading “one day…”?

Prioritisation is the key. Decide what you really want and need to read (which can be tough in this time of over saturation of written information, I am quite intuitive in the way I do it and follow my fascination…)

I have even started a “not to read” list! Books I never intend to read. Making this decision has taken a great weight of my mind (I am not saying I will never read them of course, who knows what will happen, but right now I have no intention of reading them…)

You don’t need to read everything in detail.

There are different speeds and styles of reading that suite different things. Newspapers I flick through and see what jumps out, but novels I will take my time and read every word, slowly.

You don’t need to start at the start and end at the end.

I read a lot of none-fiction, academic style books. The mistake I made was that I treated them the same as fiction, I would try and start at page one and work my through to the end, this laborious approach would mean I would often give up after the first chapter…

Skimming is good!

Following on from the point above. When I pick up a new “text book” (for want of a better word), I will flick through it, read the contents, index and the headings and bullet points in the book, marking anything that I found interest (I scribble in the margin of all my books and mark them with post its and turned down pages!), so that you can go back and read that section in more detail if you want or need to.

Is there another way of doing it?

Do you really need to read it? Is there an audio book version? A film adaptation?! Be creative. I am currently listening to Richard Burton reading John Donne poems. Superb and much better than me reading them myself!

Sometimes it is good just to read trash!

I read all sorts, but sometimes I like nothing more than some pulp fiction, it isn’t big, it isn’t clever, but it is great fun and if I have be frustrated trying to get through a “heavy” book I will often read trash to get back into the flow and rekindle my passion for books!

Finally, when you find a good book, savour it!

Don’t rush to get it finished to get onto the next one, it isn’t a race. Currently I am working my through the James Bond novels (OK, OK, maybe these should fall into the trash section above!), and the complete works of Sherlock Holmes…

But, most importantly, ENJOY it! Don’t read because you think you should, read it because you want to!

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Practical Idling #2: Adventures in Baking Bread Pt1

Over the weekend I was catching up on the new River Cottage TV series, River Cottage: Summers Here. I am a terrible armchair downsizers, I watch all these TV shows and read the books and then don’t do anything about it! I remember starting “The Slow Guide to Downsizing” way back in October last year, which was meant to plot my attempts to grow my own veg etc and give you handy hits about what I had learned (partially to motivate me to do it!). Then I did nothing about it! And here we are in June and it is a tad late for any of that.

Which just reinforces my point that slowing down is not about being lazy or slothful. In fact it is the exact opposite. The fast lifestyle we live, with the convenience food and throwaway culture is the lazy, slothful way of life. Slow is about taking control and making the effort to reconnect with our lives and the things that our fast lifestyle is losing…

So, back to River Cottage. One of the things I have wanted to do for ages and I think a great place to start when reconnecting with our food (the current Slow Movement, after all, started with the Slow Food Movement back in the mid 80’s) and how it is made and where it comes from is to bake bread. It really isn’t that hard (so I have been told) and doesn’t take that long (there is a lot of hanging around and waiting where you can, if you want, go off and do other things). But I have never got round to it. Until now…

One of the episodes of River Cottage showed you how to bake bread and, inspired and motivated by this segment, I have decided to finally give it a bash. I have ordered “Bread: River Cottage Handbook No. 3 (River Cottage Handbook 3)” and will be posting my experiences, good or bad, on here, maybe even with some pictures and video!  More reports as events develop…

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