Slow and Minimalism

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

I was reading the other day about Leo Babauta (the public face of minimalism) and Robert Wringham (the editor of  the New Escapologist) only own 50 and 20 things respectively.

I own shit loads of stuff.

And I don’t care.

I never saw slowing down being particularly about minimalism, or jettisoning things. Minimalism, frugality and the Slow philosophy, of course have crossovers, Slow is about reducing waste and utilising things intelligently, it is about quality over quantity (and recently I have very much enjoyed experimenting with frugality and seeing how little I can spend and how long I can go without spending anything. But that is a subject for another post). Not wasting things or avoiding surrounding your self with stuff just to try and fulfil an emotional need are noble and honourable goals to achieve (ones we should all be aiming towards really).

But we have to do it in an intelligent way. It is not about the stuff we have, it is about the relationship with have with that stuff…

Slave to Simplicity

Of course, if you don’t want to burden yourself with physical possessions go for it. But don’t feel like you have to or even should abandon everything you own.

You can easily become a slave to simplicity, jettisoning things because you think you should, out or guilt, or some misguided idea that having lots of possessions is a bad thing, and make yourself very miserable in the process.

Is this better than owning lots of things? Both will make you miserable.

And Slow certainly isn’t about being ascetic or earnest or acting like a flagellant monk (unless you want to, of course).

I may have a lot of “possessions” but I don’t really consider I own anything. It is just stuff I have lying around. I find it makes my life more fun, interesting and enjoyable. At the moment. When they don’t or start “costing” me happiness I will jettison them. Probably.

If I lost all that stuff overnight, I wouldn’t really miss any of it (apart from a handful of possessions), but right now I prefer having it around than not having it around.

You see, it is not the amount of stuff that you have, it is the relationship you have with the stuff that you have got that counts.

Every bit of stuff you own (and that, conversely, owns you) has a cost (in attachment, craving or financial and time cost) and a return (in the GENUINE enrichment that bit of stuff gives you). Obviously the balance should sway towards the more positive enrichment. But so often we get stuff, thinking it will give us pleasure, but ultimately it ends up costing us it instead.

You need to evaluate and change the relationship you have with your stuff. Just jettisoning it will not solve the problem you will end up just craving for it again, feeling miserable (or worse, the pain, craving and desire you feel will turn back on itself and turn you into one of those overly earnest, judgement people. Or, as I like to call them, idiots. Don’t do that, please).

Be mindful about how the stuff you own makes you feel, does it enrich you and your life or are you clinging to it due to some misguided believe that you should, need or have to have it?

Deal with the craving first, the attachments and the emotions that the stuff gives you, and it won’t matter how much or how little you have.

Only then will you truly be free of physical possessions.

Matt

The 3 Keys to a Slow and Happy Life

THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

One of the reasons I stopped blogging so regularly was because, well, I was running out of things to say.

You see, the Slow life is the simple life is the easy life.

And, so in my quest to become slower, unflustered, uncomplicated and uncluttered, I often found that I was practicing the same things over and over again, getting a bit better each day.

This doesn’t sit too well with the blogging principle, which requires lots of content, regularly.

A lot of blogs I have seen on simple living, minimalism and related topics, are ironically complex (and repetitive) and not really simple or minimal at all! I can only assume that is to try and keep up with the current blogging paradigm of regular content, regardless of quality.

Slow being what it is, if I did a blog every day, or even every week it would soon become repetitive or I would be tempted to over complicate the issue just to give me something to write about.

This is in direct opposition of my personal philosophy of stripping everything, as much as possible, back to its bare bones, by asking the question “what absolutely has to be there?”

Why? Well I am clutter monkey, I tend towards over-complication if I am left to my own devices (I ALWAYS pack to much when I go on holiday!) and it takes a lot of disciple for me to keep things simple (it was one of the reasons I got involved in the Slow movement in the first place).

As Einstein is quoted as having said (whether he actually said it or not I don’t know): “Keep everything as simple as possible, but no simple.”

So in this spirit of simplicity, what are the 3 keys to a slow and happy life?

Well, as I said in my previous post (here), I believe that everything comes from cultivating the slow mindset or “tortoise mind”.

So these 3 keys are the keys to creating your tortoise mind. Once you cultivate them you will find yourself able to more easily embrace the slow life, the minimalist approach and simple living.

1. Mindfulness

This really is the key to slowing down. Life is only happening in the NOW, yet how often do you really pay attention to the present moment? How often are you on autopilot or thinking about what you are doing tonight or tomorrow, or lost in a memory?
How often do you get hung up on things, wave the ride of emotion; panic, fear nervousness?

Learn to embrace the now, to lose your self in the moment, to appreciate the little things:

Really focus on the food your eat and notice the explosion of flavours your often miss, the texture, the sensation, the emotions and memories it conjures up….

When in the shower, focus on the sensation of the water splashing against your skin, the smell of the shower gel…

You get the idea?

2. Gratitude

“Poverty is not the absence of goods but rather the overabundance of desire”

Plato

There is an interesting psychological phenomenon called habitation, which basically means if we see, do, or experience the same thing over and over again, we stop paying attention to it.

This process is what our modern consumer culture relies on. It makes us acutely aware of what we haven’t got and makes subtle changes to “this years model” to keep us wanting the new and exciting versions.

One of the fastest ways to overcome this process is to be consciously grateful for what we have. Every day make a list of at least 10 things you really appreciate in your life, this can be anything from the fact you have a house, to reminding yourself why you bought the car/watch/TV/whatever that your bought (it can be something really simple, basic or seemingly silly, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are grateful for it). Really feel the gratitude. You will find you will become more mindful and crave new things and experiences less and less.

3. Compassion

The final key to a slow and happy life is to be compassionate to our fellow wo/man.

This doesn’t mean being a drip or a push over, it is about recognising that everyone is doing the best with what they have got and making the best decision they can at the time according to the information and criteria they are using (no matter how stupid or annoying, or “wrong” it may seem to you) and that you have done stupid things in your past and will again in the future.

You don’t have to become an over emotional lovey, who runs round hugging everyone one, you just need to forgive people.

It really is that simple, just forgive them.

That will free yourself up of all the stress, anger and rage about things you can do nothing about. Just stop, take a deep breath, say (silently in your own head) “I forgive you” and relax. See how good that makes you feel?

Once you have got the hang of forgiving peoples wrongs (or perceived wrongs!) against you, you will find you will become more patient, mindful and often more polite (which is a very good thing).

So there we have it, the 3 simple keys to slowing down. If you just practice these 3 keys each day, you will find you will be Slower and happier in no time!

Matt

PS, I have added a merchandise and recommended reading list to the “Buy Stuff” page, go check it out.

Slow Down from the Inside Out

 THIS IS A SLOW BLOG. It is updated when I have something to say, rather than trying to say something just to update the blog. Learn more about Slow Blogging here. Since this is a Slow Blog, may I suggest you subscribe by RSS by clicking here, or subscribe to receive email updates by clicking here (to learn more about RSS click here for an FAQ).

When I initially came across the slow movement, idling, and associated fields, it wasn’t Slow Food, or Slow Travel, or even Slow Sex, or any of those external activities that caught my attention, it was the philosophy behind the slow movement and the mindset you developed from embracing that philosophy; the psychology of slow, or the “tortoise mind”.

I was fascinated with the idea of how, by slowing down your thoughts and actions, you become more relaxed, happier, less stressful, but also, in some (if not all) cases, more productive and more “successful” (whatever that word means to you) too.

I saw developing a tortoise mind, to become an “idler” or a slow person as a key and essential ingredient in not just becoming a happier, but a better person.

I saw slowing down as an “inside out” rather than “outside in” process. By becoming a “tortoise minded” individual I felt that then the rest of the elements of the Slow Movement, such as travel, food, etc would naturally become an extension of who you are, rather than trying to embrace these activities to try and slow yourself down (which is a bit like trying to stop an out of control truck doing 150mph by grabbing hold of the tailgate – it probably won’t work…). When you have developed your “tortoise mind” you will start to notice how unnecessary your old fast habits were and you will naturally be drawn to slower way of doing things.

So, I developed in my mind a sort of archetype of the ideal slow person or idler, the sort of person who can be centred and gathered and unflustered even the fastest and most hectic of surroundings.

Then I had a goal to aim for and I could take my training and skills in psychology, coaching, NLP, hypnosis, mindfulness, etc and start develop exercise and techniques to hopefully get me (and other people) to achieve that ideal.

Some people are naturally like this; I am sure you have seen them. I usually see them at airports, where you have been up at an ungodly hour to catch your flight, you are tired, disorientated and grumpy, you have been hauling your luggage around (you have probably packed far too much, but forgotten something essential), you have been queuing up, waiting your turn, getting bored and frustrated and sick of being battered, bumped into and treated like a total idiot.

Then they turn up. The idler. The archetypal “tortoise minded” person.  They casually swan in with the smallest luggage you have ever seen, calm and unflustered, they are well dressed, relaxed and look damn good. They are smiling, happily and annoyingly polite. Somehow they end up ahead of you in the queue (but didn’t push in), they seem to get the best (or only) seats left in the airport lounge (but are willing to give it up to someone else more in need of the seat, just to find another seat a few minutes later!), the fastest queue and, at the gate, you notice they have been upgraded! They take this with the calm polite modesty and remain pleasant to the end. All their movements are graceful, calm, measured and seemingly frustratingly slow (they stroll nonchalantly along), yet they seem to get everywhere before you, who has been rushing and flapping…

And, if you happen to be going to the same location as them on holiday, you notice they are always perfectly suitably turned out (how did they manage that with the tiny luggage?), fresh, alert, polite and get the last sun lounger!

Don’t you just hate them (because you want to be like them)?!

I am still working on it; that is my ideal goal (at the moment). The reason I was drawn to the slow philosophy was because I was a flustered, twitchy, super-fast person (and it was doing me no good at all), so I have quite a long way to go yet (although I am getting there)…

Pop over to the free stuff page for much more advice and ideas on how to develop your inner idler.

Matt

PS, I am still working on new content for the static pages. Please bear with me, I am getting there slowly…

The Buddha As the First Psychotherapist?

As John Naish so eloquently put in his excellent book “Enough: Breaking Free from the World of More”. Human beings are designed to want, to crave to covet. For good or ill, it is what has got us to where we are today. It has worked very well as a survival strategy and without it, the human race would probably have become extinct by now.

He even posits that the human race should not be called “homo sapien” (thinking or wise man), but “homo expetens” (wanting man).

However, we have now got to a point where those natural cravings have become a hindrance to our development (both socially and evolutionarily) and we need to get beyond them so that we can continue to develop and evolve…

I have been involved in Buddhism since I was about 19. I was sort of aware of it from an early age, when I took up martial arts at the age of 12, but that was really just the draw of a far off and distant land (the mythic “east”) and the iconography and aesthetics of it all.

But I remember when I real became interested in Buddhism was when I was sat in a bar in Cheltenham, I was a little bit drunk and rambling on to this bloke I had just been introduced to about how I thought the majority of problems people have is because they were always wanting more and more things and if they were just appreciated what they had got then the world would be a much better place and we would all be happier (see I was even “Slow” back then…). He interrupted me to ask me “How long have you been interested in Buddhism?”, I had no idea what he was talking about and asked him what he meant, he said I had almost, word for word quoted the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths:

1. Life is suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is craving (or attachment to things).
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable by relinquishing cravings.
4. We can follow the path to the cessation of suffering.

Turns out this guy was an ex-Buddhist monk and he introduced me to Buddhism, recommended books, and groups and events where I could learn more (I feel a bit guilty, as I can’t even remember his name!).

I studied Buddhism through my early 20’s, getting involved with varies groups including The “Friends of the Western Buddhist Order” (FWBO) and “Sanbo Kyodan Zen”, but around 2004 I found myself getting more and more distracted by the world of more, until I peaked in 2007 and found myself the craving, striving, stressed “success coach” that I had become.

What has this potted history of my relationship and involvement in Buddhism have to do with Slow or John Naish?

Well, over the years studying the Buddha’s teachings and methods I starting to formulate the idea that Buddhism was not really a religion but a process of therapy and the Buddha was in fact the first “psychotherapist”! His teachings helped you undo our natural propensity to want and crave and evolve beyond our instinctive urges.

I was not alone in this interpretation and notable Buddhist scholars such as Stephen Bachelor, Caroline and David Brazier, to name a few, have discussed Buddhist techniques and ideology, particularly Zen practices in a therapeutic context. Philip Kapleau has explaines:

“Bompu (or Ordinary) Zen, being free from any philosophic or religious content, is for anybody and everybody. It is a Zen practiced purely in the belief that it can improve both physical and mental health. Since it can almost certainly have no ill effects, anyone can undertake it, whatever religious beliefs they happen to hold or if they hold none at all. Bompu Zen is bound to eliminate sickness of a psychosomatic nature and to improve the health generally.”

This has finally led to Western psychologists and therapists, particularly Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jack Kornfield, Tara Brach, Joseph Goldstein, and Sharon Salzberg, to have researched and studied Buddhist practices, particularly mindfulness, and recent research supports promising mindfulness-based therapies for a number of medical and psychiatric conditions, notably chronic pain, stress, depression and substance abuse and recurrent suicidal behaviour.

The more I study, explore and develop the slow life, in particular the slow mindset (which, to me, is where it is at), the more I recognise that mindfulness is the corner stone to that mindset and the spring from where everything else comes.

SC

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Getting Rid of Want 3: Mindfulness

“Poverty is not the absence of goods but rather the overabundance of desire”

– Plato

Mindfulness is best described by John Kabat-Zinn as “…paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

Being mindful of the present moment can reduce habituation and therefore craving.

In one study of habituation, 3 Zen practitioners were placed in a room with their eyes closed and a clicking noise was made 20 times in a row at 15 second intervals,  their brain waves monitored. When the study had been done with non-Zen Practitioners (‘ordinary’ people) their brainwave patterns showed that by the 5th click habituation had set in and the subjects no longer noticed the sound. In contrast the Zen practitioners responded to each repeated click as fully as the first.

By cultivating the Zen mindset of being open to moment as you can reduces the sense of habituation, therefore craving.

After starting to discuss mindfulness in 3 previous blogs (here, here and here) I have to admit to distracting myself and I am going to return to the subject in the very near future. If you want to learn more about you can attend my “Day of Mindfulness Seminar” or my forthcoming (if I ever get it finished) guide to mindfulness ebook. Sorry. Plug Over…

So I am not going to go into mindfulness too much here, but the good news is you do not need to become a Zen Master or run off to a Buddhist monastery (far from it, most Zen practitioners are lay people rather than monks – people with every day jobs and lives), you can cultivate mindfulness by following a few simple principles:

1) Draw Your Attention into Your Body.

Pay attention to your body, check your posture and relax any areas of tension, move your attention so that you can feel your hips and “sit” into your hips. When you move, pay attention to the movement, whether that is walking or reaching for something or whatever

2) Focus on Your Breath

Don’t try and force it or change it, just focus on it. By focusing on it you will find it will naturally slow and deepen and you will find yourself calmer and more relaxed.

3) Do Something Deliberately

Pick something you do every day, like cleaning your teeth for example, and really pay attention to it, rather than just doing it whilst daydreaming about something else…

4) Be Polite

By making the effort to be polite to the people around you (saying “please” or “thank you” for example) you are forced to be more mindful of your surrounds and slow down!

5) Be Gentle

The Taoists have a saying of only apply “4 ounces” of pressure to whatever you touch. Now, it doesn’t mean exactly 4 ounces, but means being gentle with everything you interact with, both physically and psychologically.

We will look at my final suggestion for getting rid of wanted in this mini-series tomorrow.

SC

Mindfulness Part 3: A Simple Meditation

OK, now you have had a go at just sitting still (how did you find it?), lets expand that to a bit more of a formal meditation.

I know, I know, to some people the word “meditation” sends shivers down their spin, and they conjure up images of tie dye hippies all sat round chanting, but don’t panic! Meditation is nothing like that (unless you want it to be – I am, I have to admit, a bit of a secret hippy…).

Essentially meditation is about creating mental discipline by which you can get beyond the reflexive, “thinking” mind into a state of relaxation or awareness.

Meditation often involves turning attention to a single point of reference and the easiest point of reference is your breath. The great thing about using your breath as a focus when developing mindfulness is that is always there! So you can do a spot of mindfulness meditation whenever you have a spare few minutes, I often to do whilst stood in a queue waiting for something.

Remember though that mediation is not an end in itself, it is about practicing mindfulness so you can use it all of the time. The secret, really, is to ALWAYS be meditating, and I will get onto that in much more detail in later posts, but right now, I want to talk you through a very basic mindfulness mediation so you can start creating a habit if doing it every day. It is a great habit to get into and you will find, with practice, you will become calmer, more focused and energised is a very short space of time.

To begin with, you only need to dedicate 5 minutes to this and slowly build the time up to 20 – 25 minutes (maybe add a minute a week? There is no rush, it is better to build slowly – those are the most powerful habits).

So, what you do is very simple, you don’t need to get yourself in any complicated posture, or burn incense or anything (although you can if you want to, I find it does help – creating a “ritual” around your practice) just sit in a nice firm chair (not a sofa!), make sure your feet can touch the floor, sit forward a bit on the chair so that you are supporting your own back and it has its natural curve (people often find the correct posture the hardest to create  – listen to the recent podcasts to hear about how to relax, breath and improve your posture), then  just breath! Don’t try and force your breath or change it, just breath. And as you do so, start counting the breath, start at one and go to ten, when you reach ten start at one again (breath in, “one, breath out “two”, etc), if you get distracted by thoughts or whatever, lose count or accidentally go over ten, just draw your attention gently back to your breath and start counting from one again.

Do this for five minutes and see how you get on.

Matt

Mindfulness Part 2: Do Nothing

When was the last time you sat down and did nothing? I mean absolutely nothing, not watching tv, not reading or playing with your phone, but NOTHING?

Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment, to do that we need to build our concentration levels; something that is being constantly eroded in our modern society. To build our concentration we need to see how little we have at the moment.

So, just sit down and do nothing. See how long it takes before your mind starts racing with things you really SHOULD be doing instead of being sat there, see how long it takes for you to start getting twitchy and notice itches, aches and pains in your body, before you start becoming bored?

The first stage of Yoga (often the only one we do) is about being able to hold you body still for long periods, it is essential for mindfulness that we still the mind, so that we take our attention outside of our heads and start paying attention to what is out there rather than to our thoughts, ideas and feelings.

So, find yourself a nice quite spot and sit still for 5 minutes. See what happens, pay attention to any thoughts and feelings that arise.

Matt

PS, Lotus position is optional! You can just do it slouched in a chair…

Mindfulness Part 1

One of the key tenants of the Slow Philosophy and one of the most important abilities to cultivate is mindfulness.

Mindfulness comes from Buddhist philosophy but has been picked up in the last few years by modern western psychology, mainly by someone called Jon Kabat-Zinn. Mindfulness is attracting increasing interest among western clinical psychologists and psychiatrists as a means of dealing with stress, anxiety, and depressive mood states.

But it is not limited to only helping in those conditions, by becoming mindful you will find you will have more energy, concentration, less worries and concerns (therefore more relaxed) and appear to be able to act more spontaneously and relevantly in a given situation (hence increasing your confidence).

So, what is mindfulness?! It is simply paying attention to what we are doing NOW. Very few of us actually pay conscious attention to what we doing.

Our brains are designed to ‘habituate” repeated experience. What this means is when we do something over and over again, we stop paying conscious attention to it and it becomes an automatic unconscious habit.

It is thought that we do this for survival purposes, our conscious minds have limited attention, so our habituation means we stop paying attention to what doesn’t change (we don’t need to) and only pay attention to something that changes (which can mean danger).

But where it works against us is that much our day is spent doing the same things and having the same stimuli. We stop paying attention and start sleepwalking through life. Our lives begin to appear mundane and we yearn for something new to stimulate us.

If we saw a sunrise once in our lifetime we would consider it one of the most beautiful sights we have ever seen, because we see it almost daily, we stop paying attention, we miss the beautiful richness of “every day” life.

Slowing down is about paying attention to that daily richness, to appreciate the beauty that is all around us.

Luckily we are not stuck with the results of our habituation and can reset the process so that we can live richer and fuller lives a process of ‘mindfulness’, or deliberately paying attention to every day habits.

A lot of mindfulness exercises are in the forms of meditation, where we sit and focus on something (often our breathing) for long periods of time. Although this is very, very powerful it can be quite overwhelming for a beginner and the power of mindfulness is to use it every day life, not to be able to sit for hours on end.

So I have developed a series exercises, experiments and activities to help you bring mindfulness into your every day life and start to build towards a meditative practice.

I will begin those exercises tomorrow and run a short series of them for the next few posts.

Matt